by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Aug. 8, 2024) — “The Battle Cry of Freedom” (2:25)
There’s always one in the crowd, always someone who didn’t get the message, someone who forgot to spring ahead or fall behind or hasn’t heard that the 2020 election was a fraud, that the only “insurrection” on Jan. 6 was by Pelosi and Pence for certifying false votes. We sent Professor Wert on assignment to track down this person, if there even is one, and try to understand how out-of-whack this person really is. The following is Professor Wert’s report:
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Wert here on assignment in flyover land, that would be Michigan, trying to score an interview from what I’ve determined to be the only person in the United States who believes that the 2020 election was the ‘most honest ever.’
“From all the indications, it seems everyone is pointing at the Secretary of State of the State of Michigan, Jocelyn Benson. We tried to schedule an interview with this deranged public servant, but we got the cold shoulder.
“In desperation we gave Professor Zorkophsky a call to see if he could help us out, maybe take on some ‘medical slant’ to get her to talk. He said that sufferers of ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ are really sick and ‘incurable.’ He said such people can’t remember if they were better off four years ago or not. These people can’t remember when gas was less than $2 a gallon, poor things. He mentioned that Michigan is one hotbed of Islamic influence and that politicians are catering to their every whim.
“He reminded us that what is transpiring in other parts of the world will soon visit our shores; it’s just a matter of time. Every day there are senseless, at least to us, attacks on innocent bystanders, stabbed all over, as those little girls in England were. Knifed for no other reason than that they weren’t Muslim. Brutally knifed and three died. Little girls, like 6, 7 years old. Never did anyone any harm in their entire lives and the Muslims cheered, took great pleasure that those little girls bled out. Muslims from the United States to Iran smiled and gave praise that those little girls were murdered in cold blood.
“And our politicians, along with the Departments of State and Homeland Security, welcome thousands of Muslims every day and have no plans whatsoever to deport even one when we all know that the only thing the Muslims want to do is kill us all and make the United States a caliphate of the Islamic Empire.
“But not all of us are out to lunch. Here’s the deal: the clock is ticking; can you hear it? Seemingly sane people allow nuts such as AG Benson to spout insanity, so listen up: let’s say ‘Kamala the Hyena’ wins, then who is the enemy? Anyone associated with the government, starting with our men and women in blue who, at least in the past, violated their oath to the Constitution. Raid on Mar-a-Largo? Raid on Roger Stone? Convicting LTC Terry Lakin, Steve Bannon, and Peter Navarro? J-Sixers [“Justice for All” (2:24)] in prison but illegal immigrants are allowed to walk free. Cops standing around while Minneapolis, Baltimore and Ferguson burn? If you’re a cop if Trump wins, good. If you’re a cop if Harris wins, not so good.
“What the politicians in England have done to their citizens has made them criminals for being ‘unbelievers.’ This is important: what has transpired in Europe will be on your street before you know it. There’ll be a time when the Muslim mobs will march down your street and drag people out of their houses, apartments, condos, and RV’s and beat and murder them on the sidewalks and in the streets while the gutters run with blood. The cops will say that they’re ‘looking for a motive.’ Now if you don’t agree with me, if you can’t figure it out, you’re as bad as Mayorkas, Kamala Hyena and Michigan’s Secretary of State, Jocelyn Benson.
“Now to close out this episode of ‘Pulse,’ we’ve invited Bishop Dunkin to say a prayer for us. Take it away, Bishop.”
“Thank you, Professor Wert. Dear Lord, please give us the wisdom to know who our enemy is. We understand that our Republic is on the precipice of surviving or treading water while waiting for the end.
“I’d like to say a few words to those who are in the justice business. Everyone in the military is quite aware of the repercussions of following an illegal order. Those ‘in the Blue’ haven’t a clue, which is why Veterans aren’t hired to be cops. FBI agents are not Veterans. Our police are not Veterans. The DOJ is not made up of Veterans. If a cop tells you to wear a mask, that cop is not a Veteran.
“One last tidbit before my time is up: apply the same laws to the Muslims that the government used to deport mob gangsters back to Italy in the first half of the last century, okay? Amen.
“Thank you, Professor, for having me on your show; always a pleasure.”
“We’re going to try and introduce a new segment to the show, ‘Madam Shylock’s Advice Column.’ Take it away, Madam Shylock.”
“Always check the pockets before it goes into the washing machine.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it unless you pay more.”
“Well, folks, we’ve just run out of time and so… this is Professor Wert filling in for Roving Reporter, along with Bishop Dunkin and Madam Shylock, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show and another good prayer. Too bad the good people in Michigan have to live with Whitmer and her gang of GESTAPO agents. Heard from Henry? I wonder if anybody is listening. Burger time: my treat.”
“(Till) I Kissed You” (2:52)
Professor Wert
Michigan Secretary of State Jocelyn Benson gives Creedence to the saying DUMB BLONDS ! I am actually more concerned about the people who made Jocelyn Benson Michigan Secretary of State !