by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Mar. 12, 2024) — “You Talk Too Much” (2:54)
[The history of Henry is shrouded in mystery. Some say he is from the ‘Land of Prester John’; some say he’s Zyklon’s ambassador to earth, while we know him as the talking frog that lives in the pond in the center of Cassadaga, Florida and is hands-down our choice for Trump’s Secretary of Defense.]
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our fan mail has overwhelmingly been asking for Henry, not because he talks, but due to his hands-on approach to problem-solving. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most popular information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you, Roving, for inviting me back. I always enjoy my time here at ‘Pulse,’ wherever you may be. Our world is a very dangerous place, and it’s somewhat entertaining when people go out of their way to court danger, especially when leaving common sense at the door.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know that, from the start, it has been ‘Pulse’s’ policy not to get a ‘Clot Shot.’”
“You mean the COVID vaccine, right?”
“Yes, the vaccine that isn’t a vaccine. Like ‘Bidenomics’ isn’t inflation, or the Department of Homeland Security telling us we have a closed border when, in fact, it’s wide open and has been ever since ‘Let’s go Brandon!’ stole the presidency. Biden’s war on us started when he cancelled the Keystone Pipeline in the quest to remove the US dollar as the base currency of world trade.”
“Is that bad? I mean, how bad?”
“The word ‘hyperinflation’ and the phrase ‘worldwide depression’ come to mind.”
“That seems serious. I think we’ll take a short commercial break.”
“Something to Talk About” (3:41)
“And we’re back with Henry who has nothing positive to say about Biden and the rest of the traitors commonly known as Dems.”
“That’s right. I must also mention that the Biden Administration shares many attributes with the German Socialist Workers’ Party of the 1930’s (NAZIs), even to the point of cloning Heinrich Himmler in Merrick Garland. The Department of Justice does not subscribe to the Ten Commandments or the Golden Rule. The FBI is nothing but today’s GESTAPO, people who readily sell their souls for trinkets of silver, just as the Biden Crime Syndicate has done, all following in the footsteps of Judas.”
“You do have a way with words.”
“The best orators have always been frogs, Roving. You should know that. Now, to Liz Cheney and her illegal Jan. 6 committee.”
“Illegal?”
“Any fool knows that there was no so-called ‘insurrection’ on Jan. 6, except to say Pelosi and VP Mike Pence did the country in when they certified fraudulent votes. Which brings us to Peter Navarro, who must spend four months in jail for doing nothing wrong. The real law-breakers were Liz Cheney and the others who withheld exculpatory evidence that would have cleared Navarro and all the other January Sixers [“Justice for All” (2:24)].”
“I think you’re right.”
“This is what I saw the other day: waiting at a red light, two cars up to my right, the driver opened his door and placed on the road the bag and paper wrappers from a fast-food joint. Right on the road in broad daylight. That’s Third World mentality, folks, right here in River City [“Ya Got Trouble” (4:28)]. No respect for our laws and certainly no respect for us, our history, and the ‘American Way.’”
“You got that part right.”
“Now about Trump [“Trump Won” (3:30)] and the COVID nonsense. I want him to come clean and stop this ‘get the shot stupidity.’ Admit you made a mistake about getting the ‘Clot Shot’ and end it all. No more about masks, social distancing and getting the COVID non-vaccine, right?”
“Without a doubt. No question about it. Trump [“81 Million Votes, My A**” (3:13)] should’ve asked me from the get-go.”
“And that reminds me of what Professor Zorkophsky told me one time. We were out in the middle of a lake in northern Minnesota on a clear night marveling at the Milky Way and he said something that stuck with me; want to hear it?”
“Go for it.”
“He said combat will change your life in a heartbeat. He said when he first got shot at, he was disappointed, disappointed that another human wanted to kill him without ever meeting him and knowing that he had nothing against the guy.”
“Go on.”
“Nothing against the guy who shot at him until, that is, he got shot at and then he hated him. He didn’t at first hate all the enemy, just the one who shot at him.”
“But then he changed his mind, right? Did you ask him how long that took?”
“I did and he said, ‘immediately.’ But here’s the point. He said that you can have all the training in the world, wear a class ring from West Point or Annapolis, go to the War College and know it all and yet if you had a knife at your throat in hand-to-hand combat you just went to the head of the class. You bypassed the SEALS and the Rangers, the Green Berets and the Tunnel Rats, the snipers and the Joint Chiefs. Audie Murphy was one of those; Zork was another and many more.”
“Who’s ‘Zork?’”
“That’s what Professor Zorkophsky likes to be called rather than ‘Professor’ all the time. He says it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.”
“Interesting. So, let me see if I get this right. You’re saying Professor Zorkophsky…”
“Zork.”
“Zork told you that the ‘Clot Shot’ was bad news and to stay away from it, am I right?”
“’At all costs’ is how he put it.”
“And people listened to him?”
“I don’t know, but what I do know is that lots of soldiers and sailors refused the shot.”
“Well, good for Zork and all of those who listened to him, yours truly included. Too bad Trump didn’t; all he had to do was call or leave a comment. And so, this is your Roving Reporter…”
“Excuse me, please, but shouldn’t we wish Peter Navarro best wishes, good luck and all?”
“And we most certainly do. Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time and Madam Shylock [“Fortune Teller” (2:41)] sent you some chocolate-covered caterpillars.”
“500 Miles” (3:02)
Roving Reporter