by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Oct. 5, 2024) — “My Love” (4:15)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The 2020 presidential election was stolen so far beyond a reasonable doubt as to emphatically declare that anyone who thinks otherwise is a candidate for the funny farm. It’s like rain: either it is or it isn’t and not any of this wishy-washy nonsense. Vote the straight ticket all the way. Vote Trump and hope he can defeat the New World Order starting with quitting the United Nations and kicking them out of our country. Second on the list would be to go after Barry Soetoro (aka Obama), Pelosi, Schumer and McConnell and go down from there including every military person who had a hand in the cluster disaster pulling out of Afghanistan. As with murder, there is no expiration date on treason and the penalties are quite severe, just as they should be, need to be and as we patriots expect them to be. End of introduction.
“Today’s guest is a frequent contributor, a man who went to a war and came back bonkers, drank and lost his wife but has since quit the drugs, got a degree in psychology specializing in treating fellow nuts who have combat-induced PTSD, was employed by the VA but was fired for refusing to prescribe ‘masking drugs’ that left his patients no better off than zombies with PTSD. Welcome back, Professor Zorkophsky, to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for the comprehensive and entertaining introduction, Roving, but please address me as ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. I want to make a few obvious observations to start. First, for everyone who has studied war, there’s no better example than the Battle of Gettysburg, 1863. Talk about changing battle lines; that three-day war is it. But every battle is just as fluid as Gettysburg was; the thing about Gettysburg is we have precise timelines and locations for 72 hours running. Now here’s the point: nothing went as planned; it was all chaos; mistakes were a direct cause of poor communications; heroism was prevalent on both sides, as were grievous errors.
“Now to my point: battle lines change, are fluid, and me getting shot at by a Communist in a land far away is no different than an illegal vote in the high school gymnasium just a few miles away. This country is on the precipice of disaster, of going past the point of no return, and this illegal voting will be our death, figurately and literally. Can’t just stand by and look the other way, as the people in Colorado are doing with the illegal sentencing of Tina Peters, who is just as much a victim of the Jan. Sixers as all the rest of them.”
“Couldn’t agree with you more, Zork. Please stand by as we pause for a short commercial break.”
“Vivre sans Elle” (3:06)
“And we’re back with Zork.”
“As I was saying, a Commie is a Commie no matter where they are, just as a Muslim is a Muslim no matter where they are. We are is dire straits, trust me. Now, getting back to the Gold Star mom, Tina Peters, well, her son died, right, while serving in the NAVY and she was a conscientious government employee who, well, believes in the Constitution, which is why when she saw election cheating, she did something to save our country. Now, I’m not going to say anything about the DA and the judge. I’m not going to use the phrase ‘bought and paid for,’ and I’m not going to say anything about maybe we hope they’ll be shanghaied for a slow boat to China. I’m not going to say I hope they get what they deserve. I’m not going to say one word.”
“Thank you, Zork, for exercising tremendous restraint in not saying what you really think. From the Las Vegas shooting to Maui, from Afghanistan to Hurricane Helene, this administration has been hell-bent on destroying our Republic and it’s coming down to the wire. If we get Trump, we at least have a chance; without Trump, no chance. In reality, Trump should get 100% of the vote. Can you explain ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ in a nutshell?”
“No.”
“Well, then, could you at least take a stab at it?”
“Yes, by all means, I’ll try. First, you have your ‘stupids.’ Alejandro Mayorkas is just plain stupid whereas Morning Joe, although not ‘stupid,’ suffers from ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ to the point where he and Mika can’t see straight. At the start, at the very heart of ‘Derangement,’ is the disdain and hatred of the Constitution replaced by ‘Hey, man, can’t we all just get along?’ The answer, the real answer is, ‘No, why can’t we all just get along? Go ask those who were at the music festival in Israel on Oct. 7.’ Bottom line? Trump Derangement Syndrome blocks brain receptors from telling the difference between a lie and the truth. A lie was ‘Russian Collusion’; the truth is that Joe Biden was never in charge of anything.
“In conclusion, I would like Mike Davis, hopefully our next United States Attorney General, to prosecute to the fullest extent of the law any judge, clerk, agent and cop who had a hand in intimidating, harassing, arresting, convicting, incarcerating, annoying, bothering and torturing any US citizen relating to the Pelosi-Pence Jan. 6 insurrection and, while he’s at it, put Hillary behind bars for, if nothing else, trading the life of Libyan Ambassador Christopher Stevens for the terrorist scum bin Laden.
“And what do you say we call a spade a spade? The United States Congress is nothing but a kickback enterprise for a bunch of depraved thieves, and if you want any proof, look no farther than the aforementioned Pelosi and all the other Dems and RINOs. And that’s all I’ve got to say except ‘Be armed and vote for Trump.’”
“Sounds good to us, Zork. Thank you for sharing such important information with us. We’ll pause for a short commercial break and end the program with some of Madam Shylock’s excellent advice.”
“Seasons in the Sun” (3:38)
“Hello, Madam Shylock, and what have you got for us today?”
“You’re on the Interstate, cruise control set at 72 mph. You pass a semi going up a hill. What then? Do you stay at 72 on the way down and make the semi-truck pass you on the left, or do you dive with great courtesy and safety by moving over to the left lane and allow the semi-truck to pass you at 80 mph on your right? Driving a big rig is dangerous enough without idiot drivers putting everyone in danger by driving like complete idiots, is all I’m saying, so take your little pamphlet of ‘Rules of the Road’ and flush it.”
“Well said, Madam Shylock. And that’s it for this episode, so I’d like to thank Zork and Madam Shylock for making ‘Pulse’ what it is. This is your Roving Reporter, wishing each of you a good night. Oh, wait. Maybe someone ought to clue Netanyahu in on a little bit of reality: there is never ‘negotiating’ with a Muslim. Muslims are either in the act of murdering or waiting to murder, and as soon as Benjamin Netanyahu gets with the program, maybe there’ll be peace in the Middle East after he wipes the enemy off the face of the earth because there is no such animal as ‘trust’ in Islam. Goodnight.
“Great show. Burger time: my treat.”
“Waymore’s Blue” (2:42)
Roving Reporter