by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Apr. 25, 2023) — “Bolero” (2:32)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Back by popular demand is Professor Zorkophsky, who just released another bestseller that is a shoo-in to become a major motion picture. Sounds exciting; what’s it all about?”
“And so very glad to be back on board. The book’s title is, ‘Good Riddance, Joe, We Hated Your Guts.’ Basically, it’s a biography of Joe Biden’s corrupt life with the emphasis on the last 20 years. In parallel with Brandon’s rising wealth, there are corresponding chapters on Chuck Schumer, Nancy Pelosi, and Mitch McConnell, with a footnote on AOC. And you’re right about a movie since I wrote it as a screenplay. I hope to make a lot of money and I’d like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to hawk my wares, so to speak.”
“You’re entirely welcome, I’m sure of it. Let’s pause for a quick commercial break, shall we?”
“Maybe I’m Amazed” (3:55)
“And we’re back on the air with Professor Zorkophsky, who just wrote another book. Go ahead, Professor.”
“The alternate title for my book may have been, ‘America for Sale’; just sayin’. Look, about that TV network, FOX, they’re going the way of Budweiser, down the drain. Tucker Carlson was their last hope of retaining any semblance of an even keel, and now he’s gone, so are they.”
“Sounds kind-of final.”
“Then let me ask you a question: knowing that what you hear is nothing other than government double-speak, would you waste your time? No, of course not, and those who watch the Fake News are doing exactly that. For proof, just look at the bimbos on ‘The View,’ collectively adding up to an IQ of 100.”
“Well, now, you got me there. Couldn’t agree with you more. Doesn’t say much for the bigwigs, now, does it?”
“No, it sure doesn’t. We live in a time when lies are more believable than the truth; a time when none of our police ever served in the military and, consequently, are totally ignorant of the Nuremberg Trials, where ‘just following orders’ is disallowed as a defense: gotta come up with a better excuse for breaking the law than that.”
“Right. A time when the anti-Trumpsters hitched themselves to the wrong wagon, a wagon that’ll get bogged down in the swamp. Oh, look who just walked in: Bishop Dunkin. We’re on the air with Zork; care to join us?”
“I came by to give a closing prayer, is what.”
“And we’re glad you did since we’re about out of time anyway. Do it after this commercial; is that alright with you?”
“Peachy.”
“Little Joe the Wrangler” (3:50)
“Take it away.”
“Dear Lord, we beseech you to give us your ear.
“We are surrounded by those who don’t care, by those who aren’t smart enough to care and by those who don’t even know how to care.
“Yes, I know; we are paying for the slothfulness we lived with for getting rid of the Draft so all we’re left with is not a citizen army but a ridiculous form of cannon fodder who couldn’t pass a WWII Boot Camp physical, but that seems to be okay as long as they are VAXXED and WOKE.
“We humbly beg of you to look down upon those of your flock who believe in the TEN COMMANDMENTS, the CONSTITUTION, and the GOLDEN RULE with compassion and grace.
“And, yes, we are quite aware that our politicians have stabbed us in the back by allowing our sworn enemy within our borders, and we certainly do pray for our Veterans who ‘eat the bullet’ because they can’t seem to get around the fact that it was okay to kill Muslims over there but not over here.
“Dear Lord, I’d like to say a special prayer for our Jan. Sixers.
“For those who would boo JFK and Martin Luther King, Jr., off the stage for believing in our country, please send them some bad luck because their negativity is no goof for anybody.
“I’d like to thank you for listening to me and reminding you to give to those who deserve whatever they get.
“And so, in the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, we hope that you’ll favor us with a smite to our foes here and there because, simply put, we’re at the end game and they cheat while we don’t. Thank you, for sure.
“Amen.”
“Amen. Well done, Bishop Dunkin; couldn’t have said it any better myself. And will you just look at the time? And so, on behalf of Zork and the Bishop, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[Note: If we don’t have voter ID, why bother voting? If those who cast fraudulent votes in 2020 aren’t arrested, tried and then incarcerated, why bother voting? And finally, if Kari Lake doesn’t oust Katie Hobbs, our country is toast, the Deep State wins and the USA is but a satellite of China. Be armed at all times because it’s not getting any better, only a lot worse, day by day. The chance of being home-invaded is going up EVERY DAY; the chance of your daughter getting raped is going up EVERY DAY; and the chance of being visited by the American GESTAPO and ending up in some gulag is growing EVERY DAY.]
“My Sweet Lord” (4:40)
Roving Reporter