Henry Featured Speaker at “Nut Symposium” (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2024

(Sep. 17, 2024) — “The Power of Love” (3:54)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. ‘Pulse’ has been chosen to be the only news organization to cover this year’s ‘Nut Symposium’ because, we’ve been told, we won’t ‘sugarcoat nor sour’ the truth. Last year’s featured speaker was Professor Zorkophsky, who zeroed in on the causes and cures of the ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ mental disease, which was subsequently widely disseminated as the most accurate description and universal remedy of the condition.

“Henry will be this year’s guest speaker. To sum it all up, only stupid people get ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome.’ There is no known cure, with the possible exception being ‘Born Again,’ akin to a shock treatment accepting the truth such as ‘Are you better off now than you were four years ago?’

The camera pans over to center stage as Henry’s chorus lady frogs perform the ‘Can Can’ to the theme song of “Bonanza” (0:38). As the music ends, they hop off to the right as Henry enters stage left, hops up to the podium and addresses the packed house as the applause dies.

“Weren’t those ladies great?”

More applause.

“I’ve been invited to explain ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ not in the mental-medical sense as Professor Zorkophsky most adequately did last year, but the total disassociation from reality for those infected. I mean, how can anyone argue with the price of gas or everything else these days? If the cost of a dozen eggs increased the same amount as your take-home pay, then inflation would be, as far as you’re concerned, zero. But it’s not, is it? Whether you are paid hourly, on salary or on a fixed income, inflation is a real threat to your standard of living.

“During the Trump years, wife and I used to go to a real restaurant once a week and have a delicious prime rib dinner; nowadays we can’t even afford to go to a fast-food place to spend $35 for a $5 sandwich and a drink. And the days of a ‘Sunday Drive’ are but a distant memory with millions of illegal drivers on the road with no insurance. Couple of years ago one ran a red light and totaled my car, he didn’t have any insurance, and the cops let him walk; not even a ticket. As the man said, ‘This ain’t America no more.’

“Indeed, it is not. We have popular singers and entertainers who publicly trash our country and Constitution, let alone Christianity and the Founding Fathers. We have a ‘Congressional Black Caucus’ in Washington, DC, believe it or not, and if that isn’t blatantly racist, nothing is. How would that be any different from a ‘Congressional White Caucus?’ The point is that pigment is not a barrier against stupidity.

“This election has nothing to do with Republicans or Democrats but has everything to do with common sense or being stupid. I’ll give you an example of common sense vs. stupid. Common sense dictates ‘Don’t drive drunk,’ yet hundreds are ticketed every day. Employers looking for applicants always ask the question, ‘Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?’ They don’t care if you drink or not, but what they really want to know is if you’re stupid. I mean, really, now, they don’t ask on the application, ‘Are you stupid?’, right?

“Perhaps the weakest link in our Constitutional Republic is that of our morally weak judges who value money over integrity, serving the political flavor of the day rather than the letter of the law. These judges are everywhere, in every stratum of the judicial system, from the United States Attorney General Merrick Garland — who uses the DOJ as a weapon against Trump [“Justice for All” (2:24)] and the FBI as his private GESTAPO —  to the lowly cop on the beat who has an inflated ego who never should have been hired in the first place. That’s why all officers of the court should have earned an Honorable Discharge from our military as a prerequisite for employment, which reminds me that teachers should be armed, including the custodians. Better be safe than sorry, right?

“Excuse me, I’m getting hand signals from Roving in the wings that we need to pause for an intermission, which is TV-talk for a commercial break. Be right back.”

“Transylvania Lullaby from Young Frankenstein” (2:13)

“And we’re back. Excuse me, please take your seats and refrain from talking. Thank you. In this last half of my speech, I have one more thing to say and then we’ll open the microphone for questions. Remember that play they had in Central Park where they had a likeness of Trump murdered or that disgusting photo of Kathy Griffin holding Trump’s head [“Try that in a Small Town” (3:00)]? If Barry Soetoro (aka Obama) was threatened, what do you think would’ve happened? Do you think those mentally impaired people would have been carted off to some institution, be it a jail or an asylum? Of course they would’ve been arrested, tried and convicted and, as I said, ‘carted off.’ I hereby rest my case about the double judicial standards in our country today, which are disgusting. I am reminded of a quote from Shakespeare: ‘The first thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers.’ Now I’ll take some questions.”

“Do they want to kill Trump over Ukraine?”

“Of course they do. Trump sees no benefit in supporting the NAZI empire. Next question. Please state your name.”

“Joe, name’s Joe. You say Dems are stupid. Could you please clarify that?”

“I just did. Next question, please, you over in the corner.”

“Hello, Henry. My name is Jane, and I want to know how you plan on deporting all the Muslims, especially since they’re United States citizens?”

“Good question and I’m glad you asked it. I just state the obvious: Leave with your money, or go to jail and then leave with nothing. Yes, the bald guy.”

“Name is Steve. Who do you think is behind these assassination attempts on Trump?”

“The government, the Deep State, Biden-Hillary-Harris-Obama, and all the other stupid people in the world. Look, there’s only one man who can put it all back together, and that’s Trump [“81 Million Votes, My A**” (3:13)]. You, over there.

“Name is John. You said the Democratic Party is the party of the KKK. Do you still stand by that statement?”

“Yes, I do, because it’s the truth. No more questions, thank you. In closing, I’d like to make a few points about the Fake News.

“First of all, the ‘Fake News’ is the same as ‘New World Order News,’ which is the same as ‘United Nations News,’ which is the same as ‘Deep State News,’ which is the same as ‘Government News.’ Do you see a pattern here?

“That’s right, and they learned it all from Madison Avenue back in the 1930s, when the NAZI Joseph Goebbels realized that successful advertising consisted of repeating a lie over and over again. ‘Threat to Democracy,’ ‘tone’ and ‘rhetoric’ are catch phases and words that are based in make-believe: in other words, lies. ‘Birther’ was a cover-up for ‘WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?’, the greatest lie yet leading up to the ‘New World Order.’ The misplaced belief in the United Nations is another lie: the only truth is the word ‘United,’ as in the ‘Muslim Admiration Society.’ Obama is one of them, Eric Holder, too. Our government has been infiltrated by Muslims for decades, military, too.

“What I’m saying is that our enemy has taken over and we’ve but one chance to take it back. If Trump is not reinstalled then I’m afraid the enemy will declare victory by eliminating free speech and will confiscate our guns, hence the reason for the 87,000 armed IRS Agents, in case you wondered.

“We are at the end game; the last moves on the board that will result in a checkmate for either the Deep State or the Constitution, one or the other.

Muslims do not recognize the Constitution as the ‘Law of the Land’ and never will. And for another 1,400 years they will continue to murder Jews and Christians daily and even fly more planes into buildings. That’s right; this is just the beginning. The reason we have Muslims in our government is the ‘in your face’ approach but I, for one, am not buying it, nor should you.

“We need to get serious about this because if we don’t, we will have lost our Republic and all those who died fighting for ‘Truth and Freedom will have died in vain, simple as that.

“We have guns, not for hunting, but to protect ourselves, our loved ones, our community and our country from Tyranny, from the Deep State, from the cops and the soldiers who will willingly follow the illegal orders to confiscate our guns. My advice is to arm yourself while you can. As the saying goes, ‘You can never have too much ammo or too much fresh water.’ Take heed, for there’s not much time left on the clock, no matter which way it turns, forward to reach for the stars or backward into despair. Always be armed and ready to fight for freedom; ask any of the J-Sixers what they think about being armed.

“Illegal immigrants are just as much the problem as crooked judges; remember that. Also remember of it weren’t for traitors like Mitch McConnell, Chuck Schumer, John Kerry and all the others, we wouldn’t be in the mess we’re in; ever think about that? Our Generals left our weapons in Afghanistan to wipe out Israel and those very same weapons will be turned against you and me, something to think about when they knock on your door at 4 o’clock in the morning. Then think about this: had Trump been home when the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago, what do you think his chances would’ve been to come out of it alive*? Bishop Dunkin will give us a send-off prayer.”

“Thank you, Henry, for an informative and truthful speech: we have but this one chance to take our country back, for if they win, they’ll shoot us with deadly ‘vaccines’ or with real bullets. Either way, we’ll end up dead. Let us pray.

“Dear Lord, we don’t hold out much hope for the stupid people anymore. Couple of years ago, maybe, but if they haven’t figured it out by now, they never will. That’s right, we’ll write them off as no-accounts.

“Anyone who is ‘undecided’ by now, well, this is how I like to say it. Let’s say you’re driving in a torrential downpour, and you come across Melania Trump and Hillary, and you have only room for one, who do you give a ride to? Let’s say it’s between Donald Trump and Mitch McConnell? Or maybe it’s between Obama and the cashier at your grocery store.

“This happened to me once, true story. At night, raining cats and dogs, line of cars crawling along at 20 mph and up ahead I spied a person I once worked for who I didn’t have any respect for. Anyway, he recognized me at the same time I recognized him, and I just kept going, didn’t even sign him. Felt good. Thank you, Lord. Still feels good telling you about it, although I may have some regret about not making some small gesture towards him.

“In closing, have a safe trip home with your weapon handy. Amen.”

“This is your Roving Reporter, along with Henry and Bishop Dunkin, wishing you to be armed to the teeth so you don’t have to rely on people who may want to do you harm. We wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good speech, Henry. And I liked your closing prayer, Bishop Dunkin. Oh, Henry, Madam Shylock sent over some smoked grubs. Burgers for us, Bishop: my treat.”

[*Alive: Any of those agents could’ve called Roger Stone to be at the courthouse at 10:00 the next morning instead of playing soldier by attacking his condo at 4:00 in the morning. They had enough time to call CNN, didn’t they? I have no respect for anyone who follows illegal or very, very stupid orders.]

[As Henry was leaving, he suggested that John Brennan would be as good a place to start as any to investigate assassination attempts against Trump.

And one more thing. You want to know what wrath and payback look like? I have a feeling that Melania Trump will stop at absolutely nothing to find out who would put her husband and son in harm’s way. She has the money, the brains, and the motive to see every lowlife pay the price who are a threat to her family and her country. I’m proud to announce that the employees of ‘Pulse’ and the ‘Little People’ are now and forever more dedicated to serving ‘Our First Lady’ in any capacity, any place and at any time.]

[Sept. 14 Formula 1 crash: Last lap, looks to me that there was a catastrophic front-end-left failure on the Ferrari.]

“Get Off of My Cloud” (2:57)

Roving Reporter