Citizen’s Arrest (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2023

(Jan. 4, 2023) — “Poor Little Fool” (2:34)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Due to popular demand, we are once again blessed with the presence of Henry, our next president.”

“Doubtful.”

“Pardon me?”

“You said I was going to be the next president and I said ‘doubtful.’ That’s not hard to understand; I mean, the de facto Cheap Suit got ‘elected.’ Give me a break.”

“By the ‘Cheap Suit’ I take it you’re referring to Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, and Howard Dean and Nancy Pelosi’s crookedness in getting the complicity of all the secretaries of state in placing Obama’s name on the 2008 and 2012 presidential ballots.”

“Yes, so why bother with the expectation of an honest election if you have the same crooks in place, or at least the same machinery? The optimistic expectation of an honest election in the USA is but an exercise in futility; in other words, one would be actually insane to expect otherwise, for real.”

“I concede your point.”

“Look, if you have a weak-willed individual in charge of anything you have to expect failure, and there are no better examples than Joe Biden and Roger Goodell. Now, we all know about the failures of Biden, but Goodell once was in charge of a successful business operation (known as the NFL), but as soon as Colin Kaepernick disrespected our flag and the National Anthem by kneeling, rather than firing the ingrate, Goodell did nothing. And that’s what happens when you have a weak leader who has no backbone, who can’t stand up against just plain wrong. In the future, the NFL will become professional Flag Football for fear of players dying after getting hit in the chest, thereby triggering cardiac arrest due to the ‘Clot Shot’ commonly known as ‘vaccinated and boosted.’”

“Yes, I think we all know at least that much. Our audience isn’t ignorant of the fact that our government wants us all dead.”

“On that we can agree.”

“Good, and now we’ll break for a quick commercial; be right back, so don’t go anywhere.”

“Brass in Pocket” (3:01)

“And we’re back with Henry, who is running for president in 2024 but doesn’t think he’ll win.”

“That’s right, Roving; if the election were honest I would, but let’s forget about the future; let’s talk about the here-and-now.”

“Okay, let’s.”

“I may move out West if for no other reason than for the opportunity to place a citizen’s arrest on Liz Cheney for violating just about every law known to mankind under the sun.”

“I think we can all agree on that. What about Katie Hobbs down in Arizona?”

“Her, too.”

“Find yourself a judge who will follow the Constitution and then make your arrest.”

“And that’s the weak point of the whole exercise, isn’t it? Finding an honest judge. Are there any?”

“I doubt it.”

“For real?”

“For real. There may not be one honest judge in the whole country, one who will follow the United States Constitution as the law of the land.”

“Really?”

“Write it down as a fact; will you do that, please?”

“Which leaves us where?”

“Truthfully? Up the creek without a paddle, as in lost with no direction, going wherever in the raging sea of public opinion that changes with the wind: what was in vogue yesterday will get you thrown in jail tomorrow, like the poor Jan. 6 people who were peacefully protesting and then all of a sudden Pelosi has a cover-up for the fraud of the 2020 election.”

“And Mike Pence is the Judas of our time?”

“No question about it. Lied to Trump, lied to the American people, and lying about being a Christian. A Christian doesn’t mimic the actions of Judas, doesn’t hide behind the cloak of respectability so as not to disclose the duplicitous nature of his true colors: that of a little sniveling weasel* selling his soul for trinkets of silver.”

“You don’t like Mike Pence.”

“Or any other traitor to the Constitution. Pence’s job was to certify HONEST votes, not to accept unlawful votes (along with the expressed wishes of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and all the alphabet soup agencies in the government, especially the DOJ and the Department of Homeland Security).”

“By the way, what do you think about the DHS?”

“They get an ‘F-‘ and I would eliminate that department as my first official act as president, if you’re interested.”

“We are, and we’ve just run out of time. Thank you ever so much for gracing us with your presence once again.”

“You’re entirely welcome, I’m sure. It was, as usual, fun.”

“And with that, on behalf of Henry, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. There’re some fresh worms from Madam Shylock in that Chinese take-out, and I’ll have the burger.”

[*Weasel: Apologies to weasels — not the human kind — are in order.]

“Raining in My Heart” (2:50)

Roving Reporter