by Chief New Leaf, ©2021
(Dec. 8, 2021) — “Starting Today” (3:11)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation’, the place to hear it here first. Our first guest today is Max Graves, a longtime assistant of Professor Zorkophsky. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you for inviting me, but it wasn’t you who invited me; it was Mr. Roving (Roving Reporter, RR) fame. What have you done with him? Where is he?”
“Calm yourself, please. Roving is under the weather and is at home resting.”
“He doesn’t have that Chinese biological weapon or its variant, The Jab, does he?”
“Look, if you really want to know, he wanted to take a break from the rat race for a couple of days and asked me to fill in, so here I am. So, my advice is to make the best of what life offers and stop your murmuring.”
“I say you have what we professional psychiatrists call a ‘Napoleon Complex’: somebody who wishes to lord it over everybody, like AOC, a little mind trying to live in a grownup world and, I might add, making a complete fool of herself. She has what we psychiatrists call a ‘Marylyn Monroe Complex,’ which is someone who believes the hype. Now sometime hype is true, but in AOC’s case none of it’s true, unless it’s negative (for her).”
“I don’t follow.”
“AOC has an inflated ego.”
“You mean?”
“Yes, she thinks she is important when, in actuality, she is an obscure grain of sand at the bottom of the ocean.”
“So she is being used?”
“Played as if she were a marionette.”
“So someone is pulling her strings?”
“Trust me, she is as dumb as my brother, never had an original thought in his life.”
“Is she really that dumb?”
“More than any of us could ever imagine. She doesn’t speak; she ‘parrots,’ meaning she repeats words and phrases that she thinks will make her appear to have a normal IQ but always comes up short.”
“How short?”
“About five cans short of a six-pack; the dullest knife in the drawer; someone who thinks that the Chinese biological weapon COVID-19 can be vaccinated against by taking The Jab.”
“That dumb? For real?”
“You wouldn’t believe it.”
“I’m beginning to. I’m sorry, but we have to break for a commercial. Thank you for being on the show and I’ll be sure to tell Roving you were an excellent guest.”
“Tryn’ To Get To You” (2:32)
“And we’re back for the second half of the show with Miss Sharon Walsh, a school teacher from — where did you say you were from?”
“I didn’t because I want to keep my job. The idiots that I work for wouldn’t be caught dead watching ‘Pulse’ or reading the transcript in The P&E.”
“So you’re a public school teacher?”
“That I am and used to be proud of it, but not anymore. You wouldn’t believe the, eh, stuff they want us to teach the little kiddies, and CRT is just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Well, for starters, they just replaced all of the textbooks with ‘revisionist history.’”
“What’s that?”
“That’s where they make up stuff or leave stuff out.”
“Give us an example.”
“Well, any history book about Jefferson won’t have a word about the Barbary Pirates, and that’s just the beginning. They say the Six Day War the Arabs won and let the Jews stay in Israel because they are ‘peaceful and misunderstood.’”
“I’d say Jefferson is turning in his grave, seeing how our so-called Department of Homeland Security (as big a joke as AOC) has welcomed the Pirates with open arms, giving them citizenship, housing, food and money, let alone the benefit of the doubt for running people over with vehicles and the so-called ‘honor killings.’”
“Sad, is what it is.”
“Do we have a chance?”
“Not if we don’t take the bull by the horns and deport those who won’t embrace our Constitution and our way of life, and I’m including the so-called Macho culture from south of the border. And one last point, if I may?”
“Go for it.”
“Hire only Veterans to be teachers and arm them. And one more thing: all police should be Veterans, too. And bring back the Draft.”
“Any more last thoughts?”
“No, that’s it for now.”
“Well, will you just look at the time? This is Chief Leaf, along with our guest, Miss Walsh, wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. I’ll charcoal the burgers: my treat.”
[Little People report: waiting; on standby.]
AOC (Arrogant Obnoxious Communist).