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by OPOVV, ©2018

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, El Borde via Wikimedia Commons

(Dec. 14, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to yet another best-selling book review penned by Professor Zorkophsky. Hello, my name is Roving and I’ll be your host for this episode of ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ your one stop for what we consider the bottom line, or as close to it as our editor allows us to get. Well, Professor, it looks like you hit another one out of the park.”

“Yes, it sure looks that way, I mean, the release date was December 1st, the optimum date to get in on the Christmas spirit. And please call me ‘Zork’; there’s no need to be so formal.”

“Okay, Zork. I started reading your book last night and was so engrossed I couldn’t put it down; it read like a John le Carre spy novel.”

“Well, thank you; it’s not often an author gets such high praise from a critic. I’d say, off-hand, you just sold an extra million copies; here, have one at half price.”

“No thanks; I have my own; read it last night, remember? It was a promotional payola copy. So, tell us, what’s the – I want to say ‘plot’ – of it?”

“Basically I delve into the psyche of the idiots among us.”

“You mean the Democrats?”

“Precisely. I expose why they would vote for a person who would use their public office to line their coffers with money, i.e., Hillary; I explain why voters voted for an incompetent administrator who got our Ambassador murdered in Benghazi; I explain that Obama, aka Barry Soetoro, was arming his private army, ISIS, through Libya at the direction of the ‘MASTERS OF TEHRAN,’ the headquarters of the Muslim Brotherhood, of which Obama, being a member in good standing, donated 15 BILLION of our tax dollars that could’ve built the wall and had enough left over to give each and every American citizen $10,000 in a Christmas card this year.

“I explain that the murder of Ambassador Stevens was a quid pro quo for killing Osama bin Laden as long as we gave the arch-terrorist a proper Muslim burial at sea, which we did, as unbelievable as it seems. Some Navy; not my Navy, I’ll tell you that. Why didn’t they leave him there for the rats and the feral dogs to gnaw on? Answer that one if you can.”

“Which you did.”

“In spades. I lay it all out so even stupid people can understand.”

“Stupid people like Bob O’Rourke?”

“Anyone who thinks that breaking our immigration laws are acceptable and sloth, dishonesty and disrespect are to be admired; yes: all of them.”

“And how do anchor babies and DACA fit in?”

’Fit in’: what are you, nuts? No, they don’t ‘fit in’; matter of fact, they’re not even part of the equation. So it’s just too bad their parents were/are lawbreakers. What are we supposed to do: give them a gold star? No, you’re not allowed to benefit from parents who are bottom-dwellers; so sorry.”


“Look, it’s not our fault the parents were deadbeats, okay? It’s too bad; yes, it is, but it’s only too bad, nothing more; it’s not like nobody saw it coming; they sure did, now, didn’t they? Running like roaches when the light of imminent deportation looms; explain that one away, if you can; which you can’t. They broke the law and it’s too bad the kids are illegal but thems the breaks: grow up, I say. Own up to it. ”

“What about a government shutdown?”

“Fine with me, and this time if the government employees don’t ‘work,’ they don’t get paid. And I think Trump ought to fire every government employee who was hired during the Obama years.”

“Schumer will cry in front of the TV cameras.”

“They’re called crocodile tears.’”

“With a hijab in the background?”

“Next time more. Maybe he’ll do a news conference on a New York City street when the Muslim cab drivers – I’m sorry, that’s redundant – are having a prayer-in and blocking traffic with the cops just standing around shooting the breeze about the culinary delight of a crème-filled donut, perhaps discussing the merits of powdered sugar.”

“You got it. Care to summarize your book for us?”

“Will do: it’s all about the ‘Thoughtless Cult’: they say they care but they really don’t, do they? No, they don’t, or else there wouldn’t be even one inner-city kid who can’t read and write and speak coherently.”

“Why, Zork, you’re a cynic.”

“I deal with nuts, and speaking of nuts, after years of hearing nuts every day, Judge Judy is more entertaining than ever; I guess I am, too.”

“Well, your books are entertaining, and you’re one of our most popular guests, right behind the Talking Dog, Madam Shylock, Chief New Leaf and Professor Professor Wert. So, tell us, why are the Dems so out-of-it?”

“Their brain lives in a Fantasy Land that has been described to them by people who are just as nuts as they are.”

“Excuse me, but is the word ‘nuts’ a clinical word that’s accepted in your profession?”

“But of course. The first documented use of the word was in World War II when the Germans demanded that the Americans surrender during the Battle of the BulgeLt. Col. Harry Kinnard sent them a one-word reply: ‘NUTS.’”

“Care to summarize your book for us?”

“Will do: it’s all about how and, probably most important, why the Obots/Dems/Trump-derangers tick.”

“They tick? You say they ‘tick?’”

“Sorry: misspoke. They don’t tick. ‘To tick’ implies ‘to think’ which, as we all know, is an impossibility for them, which they put on display whenever any one of them opens their mouths; reference Ocasio-Cortez, Bob O’Rourke, Chuck Schumer, Paul Ryan and Nancy Pelosi. I mean, why would people want higher taxes and to make their environment an even more dangerous place than it already is? They wouldn’t, not if they thought about it.”

“Which makes for a really interesting read. I noticed it doesn’t have a lot of mumbo-jumbo psychiatric terms that us laymen maybe aren’t familiar with.”

“The editor and I went to great lengths to eliminate four-syllable words.”

“That’s really great; shows you put a lot of forethought into it; I know I enjoyed it. Any possibility of Hollywood knocking on your door?”

“I sure hope so; that’s where the big bucks are. It’s possible.”

“Well, Zork, what an interesting and highly educational interview of which I can say with certainty we all enjoyed. And here’s a thought to ponder: ‘Political Correctness’ is just another name for censorship; just another name for abolishing our First Amendment.  And that’s it for now and so, on behalf of my crew and the people back at the office, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Darn good show; good book. Too bad the Brits gave Theresa May the thumbs-up; now they’ll never deport their Muslims. Open borders mean the end of the home of the Magna Carta. Sad day, indeed. Let’s grab a burger: my treat.”

Merry Christmas, Darling” (3:06)


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