by OPOVV, ©2018

(Dec. 20, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and do we ever have a treat for you. That’s right, every year about this time we have all the gang up here at the head office — well, since this is the only office I suppose it’s the head office – to celebrate yet another successful year of bringing you quality programming that’s informative as well as entertaining. Now for those of you who are reading the transcript, I’ll paint the picture for you.

“The office is like 30 by 40 feet; the desks have been arranged to form a round table so each of us has equal billing, the lighting is by candles and the Christmas tree is by the receptionist’s desk. Allow me to introduce myself: I’m Mr. Roving Reporter (RR), your host for ‘The Pulse of the Nation’; to my right is Chief New Leaf, followed by Madam ShylockTurtle who sits on Rock in Moonlight, Professor Zorkophsky, …”

 “Excuse me, Roving, please address me as ‘Zork’; there’s no need to be so formal among friends.”

“Will do. Then there’s Professor WertVietnam VeteranTalking Dog, and OPOVV. What do you say we start off with the Vietnam Veteran and listen to his pet peeve of the year.”

“First of all I feel very honored to be included, so thanks for inviting me. My bandwagon deals with PTSD and what to do about it, or maybe I should’ve said ‘how not to deal with it.’ I know that I’m not a professional psychiatrist like Zork over there, so I can only speak for myself and what worked for me, or maybe I should’ve said ‘what not worked for me.’

“Look, going to the ‘BIG PILL DISPENSER IN THE SKY,’ aka ‘VA,’ is a colossal waste unless, that is, if it’s the goal to mask the symptoms by going through life brain-dead. So no pills and all the other stuff: drugs such as nicotine, THC and alcohol. Find some friends who went through the same mess as you. And that’s it, except to say ‘Merry Christmas, everyone.’

“And the same to you. Chief, what about you? What’s your pet peeve of the year?”

“‘How’ to you all. It’s a tie between the illegal immigrants and the Muslims. So I ask myself, ‘Is our country better off today than we were a few years ago?’ Are you kidding, with Muslims in Congress, in our government and in our face? Get real. We already had planes fly into buildings; cars and trucks mowing us down; so-called ‘honor killings (aka premeditated murder); rapes and shootings (i.e. ‘Beltway Sniper’) and now we have Muslim women in Congress publicly calling for Sharia Law. So I ask you: what is the National Organization for Women‘s stance on women treated as second-class citizens, treated worse than a Muslim would treat his camel? I have spoken.”

“And what a powerful speech it was, so thank you, Chief. How about finding out what our world-famous intrepid explore, Professor Wert, has to say.”

“Glad to have made it: just flew in from Paris this morning to be with you all. My last reporting assignment was from Afghanistan, so I’d say I’m pretty much in-tune to what the scuttlebutt is among our troops. Needless to say, nobody likes what Judge Sullivan did to Gen. Flynn, making him slowly twist in the wind when all along the judge should’ve sent those FBI agents to the slammer and sent Flynn free.”

“Okay, Wert, thanks for your input. Next let’s hear from OPOVV.”

“Merry and Happy to you all. What ticks me off is the way Judge Kavanaugh was treated by the mainstream media. They found this slow-witted woman, Christine Ford, who is a die-hard anti-Trump – wait, that’s redundant, isn’t it? Slow witted and anti-Trump – who made a complete fool of herself. Plus it showed our country divided, no thanks to Barack Obama and Eric Holder for destroying 40 years of racial advancement.”

“Okay, that was to the point. You’re up next, Madam Shylock.”

“We had a most profitable Halloween season, so the catered meal that we’re about to enjoy is the result of long hours of hard work, for which we all have Roving to thank (sound of applause). My main peeve of the year is there’s no wall. Say what you will, or like, or however you put it, right now, today, there’s no wall. As long as we don’t jail – not levy fines, but jail – Americans who hire illegal immigrants, our illegal immigrant problem will continue, wall or no wall. As long as we can’t — according to the new and improved NAFTA Treaty – execute rapists, murderers and child molesters, they’ll continue to do us harm, just as they’ve been doing all along; just as they did to Kate Steinle, jury verdict by San Franciscans not withstanding. So there’s no wall and 20-30 million illegal immigrants, DACAs and anchor babies running around loose within our borders. Anyway, we need that wall: Israel’s wall works for them. What more can I say?”

“And you said it superbly, Madam Shylock. Now let’s hear from ‘Turtle Who sits on rock in Moonlight.’”

“Welcome home, Wert. My pet peeve of the year is we’re still waiting for the private Federal Reserve Bank’s audit. And, as someone previously mentioned, how come Trump hasn’t pardoned our troops who’ve been incarcerated for killing Muslims, yet another reason to ban Muslims from the military, let alone our country. I think that the Obama supporters and the Muslims in our Army have targeted Major Matt Goldsteyn and Trump should step in and take charge of the sordid situation. And I don’t think that I need to remind you all that the Muslims don’t follow the Geneva Convention, so why should we? If they fight in the gutter, so must we. And I think I can say with a positive note that we want the documents declassified.”

“Very good, Turtle, you sure have a lot of peeves. And next up is Zork.”

“Thank you, Roving, for such a complimentary introduction. My pet peeve of the year deals with our place on the world’s stage: are we the headliner or are we playing second fiddle to nefarious forces plotting to do us in, such as the EU, Russia, India and China, not to mention all of players in our own southern and northern hemisphere? But my main gripe has to do with the people who play the ‘anti-Trump card,’ never realizing that they’re being used by any or in combination with the above players mentioned, not unlike the anti-war movement of the 1960‘s, where the protesters were played like puppets of the communist propaganda machine.”

“Very distinctive and thought-out observation, Zork; thank you from all of us. Now I’m sure we’re all waiting with high expectations for what the Talking Dog has to say.”

“The dog says that we should hear from some of the office employees, too.”

“We will if we have the time. Nice of you to have thought of them. They’re hard-working and we appreciate their efforts greatly.”

“The dog says these anti-Trump shenanigans have crossed the line of acceptable decorum. We all know that there was never any Russian collusion, yet the mentally-challenged among us believed in something that was more unbelievable than Superman. If the Russians were to manipulate our election, surely they would’ve picked someone who they controlled in the past and could continue to do so; Hillary and the Uranium One underhanded dealings comes to mind. How much of that money made it into Obama’s and Hillary’s personal bank accounts we don’t know, but rest assured some of it did. And I agree with what everyone said here tonight.”

“Thank you, Talking Dog, for such a great report. My peeve is rude reporters; reporters who lack manners as well as common courtesy. I’m sorry, but we’ve run out of time so our secretary, cameraman, microphone-holder and editor we’ll have to forego and so, on behalf of everyone at the table and my crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“That was really good, gang. The caterer seems to be late so what do you say we all go and grab some burgers: my treat.”

[Note:  To those in Congress who voted against the wall (Dec. 20, 2018), we’ll remember you, especially those 7 Republicans.]

Christmas Carols by the old Carral” (2:32)



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