by OPOVV, ©2017

(Oct. 22, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to an exclusive interview with the Talking Dog. For those of you out there in TV Land, the Talking Dog represents the conscience of a Vietnam Veteran who went through the wringer, maybe not any more but certainly not any less than any other Vietnam Veteran. Stories may be made up, truths embellished, or the whole thing just be one big lie; it’s just something for each of us to decide what’s important and what’s not worth squat.

“Likely there’s no conscience involved and the 17 years of nightmares, of dreading sleep so much that self-diagnosis demanded that a cornucopia of drugs (hey, guess what? alcohol is a drug) be ingested so as to become comatose/pass-out in order to sleep and, hopefully, avoid waking up at 3:00 in the morning shaking, sweating and scared breathless, was nothing but a bad dream. So why am I convinced it’s better to die than be captured?

“And that’s my opening. Excuse us while we take a commercial break.”

I Got Lucky” (2:28)

“We’re back, and with me here in the studio is the Vietnam Veteran with his Talking Dog. Let me ask you this: to whom am I speaking? It seems a little confusing, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

“Not at all. The dog will be doing all of the talking, if we don’t mind. The Vietnam Veteran may go off on a tangent, and who knows how long it’ll be before he comes back, if at all; so I’ll do all of the talking, if you don’t mind. Excellent intro, by the way.”

“Thank you. I know you have to be at the dog park in an hour so I’ll get right to it. You served under a number of presidents, so let me ask you this: would you have felt comfortable having Trump as your Commander-in-Chief?”

“Let me answer this way: I voted for Trump in the primary and also in the general election.”

“Good answer. Here’s another one: did you take part or ever witness a ‘fragging’? But before you answer, we have to pause for a commercial break.”

You Know Me Better Than That” (3:00)

“It’s like this: if any of these Left-Wing Loonies (Occupiers; Antifa; Black Lives Matter) were in my squad, they’d never make it back, and take that as a guarantee. It’s a fact of life that accidents happen; people get run over; fall overboard in the middle of the night. As I said, accidents happen.”

“Okay, I’ll take it that you answered the question and don’t want to say another word about it.”

“Next question. Dog Park calling.”

“Very well: Is General Kelly a racist and a White Supremacist?”

“If you were in my squad I’m afraid you’re MIA.”

“That’s rather rude.”

“Truth has no manners; it just is. You either accept it or get left behind, and I mean that in a literal manner. I was hiding behind a clump of dirt and rocks when the guy next to me bought the farm. He was alive and then he wasn’t; it was that quick. Shot in the head. And I didn’t think about it, at least not then. Well, not even now, come to think of it. If you want to think about it, be my guest.”

“Do all military guys have the same callous attitude as you?”

“Reality isn’t, as you say, ‘callous.’ Reality just is, and it’s a waste of time trying to label it. The most you can say is ‘Too bad’ and let it go at that. You’ll go crazy trying to make any rhyme or reason of it, so don’t.”

“One last question: when should they oust Mitch McConnell?”

“Yesterday. And I’m off. Thank you for the interview; I enjoyed it and I hope your viewers did, too. Goodbye.”

“Wait one: one very last question: is it possible to tell who will be a hero?”

“Not a chance. Athletic or not; education; a big-mouth; nothing means a hill of beans when the bullets start flying. You’d be surprised at who you thought would stand tall and take charge but didn’t; who would pass the buck, maybe even cringe and freeze or go bonkers. And you don’t even really know how you yourself would do until it happens, for real. You may think you do; you may have high expectations of and for yourself, but you’ll never, ever really know* until you’re pushed to the limit, as when a bunch of bad guys are really and truly shooting at you for you to do one thing and one thing only: die. And now I must go to the Dog Park.”

“And off they go. Well, it seems as if the Talking Dog doesn’t think much of the Swamp; Obama and Hillary-lovers; ‘kneelers’; and of those who don’t support President Trump 110%. And I’ve just been informed that it’s time for me to say, on behalf of the crew, goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*You’ll nev, r-ever really know: Here’s the deal: Many times guys have said to me that looking back on their lives, they wished that they had served. They tell me that they would’ve liked to have served in combat and won some medals. Let me tell you something: medals are nothing more than Hershey bars, and I’m not knocking Hershey bars, but the ONLY people who deserve any kind of medal are the medics, okay? And the ONLY medal that I ever cared about is my GOOD CONDUCT medal; any of the others just goes to show how unlucky I was.

The Talking Dog says that the Dog Park is full of medals that ought to be sent to the Pentagon for having such worthless Rules of Engagement. I hear tell that, under President Trump, we can actually kill the enemy, and for that I am eternally grateful and salute him. Nevertheless, for all those that could’ve said something but didn’t, about LTC Terry Lakin and who are still on active duty, the Talking Dog would like nothing more than to send them a ‘medal’ direct from the Dog Park.]

Take It Easy” (3:32)



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