THE “HAVES” VS. THE “HAVE-NOTS”
by OPOVV, ©2018
(Nov. 17, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that, if it doesn’t grab you, then you’re not paying attention. Hello, my name is Turtle, which is the abbreviated form of my birth name: ‘Turtle Who Sits on Rock in Moonlight.’ We American Indians name our kids after the first distinctive thing the parents see after the birth, and seeing a turtle sitting on a rock in the middle of a stream in the moonlight struck them as being, to them, at least, unique. Roving is on the road to Las Vegas to get at least one FBI agent telling us the truth about the 59 killed on October 1, 2017, in the Muslim Jihad Slaughter, something they’ve been more than reluctant to say.
“As you die-hard viewers of the ‘Pulse’ have already surmised, we’re back in Professor Zorkophsy’s office here at the university. Hello, Professor, and congratulations on your new book, ‘The Haves and the Have-Nots (and the reasons why).’ I see that it’s already one of the best-sellers and, let me ask you, is there a movie in the works?”
“I can see you haven’t read the book yet, Mr. Turtle, or else you would’ve known it’s written as a textbook. Entirely understandable since the book was only released yesterday.”
“Only yesterday? So how did it get to the top of the list so fast?”
“Pre-orders, that’s how, through a very slick distribution and marketing system, plus the fact of name recognition.”
“That so? You must be very proud of your accomplishments, having so many best-sellers. What do you do, wave a magic wand or something?”
“The key to success is to find a niche and exploit it to the nth degree. I write textbooks that are timely, well-researched, and fill the inquisitive need for a certain segment of our population.”
“Sounds like the key to success, Professor Zorkophsky.”
“Please, call me ‘Zork’; there’s no need to be formal in such a relaxed atmosphere.”
“Thanks for the compliment, Zork. So, how about telling us about the book?”
“It’s a brand-new concept, marrying sound with sight. We call it ‘Marrying Sound with Sight.’”
“How imaginative. How’s it work?”
“We’re talking micro-stuff. Whenever a page is turned, a microprocessor reads the info and sends it to a microcomputer that picks the song for that page, or part of a song for that page. Whenever a page is turned, it moves a series of gears that turn a micro-generator that charge the micro-batteries that power the sound system that can be heard in one of two ways: built-in speakers or headphones that are not supplied: have to use your own headphones.”
“How about showing us what you’re talking about?”
“Okay, I just happen to have a book here. Let’s turn to Chapter One: ‘In the Beginning’: ‘Hello, It’s Me’ (4:19). Well, what do you think?”
“Interesting. What happens when you turn to page 360?”
“Let’s see and hear. See, page 360: ‘Acoustic Blues in D’ (3:18). Pretty impressive, don’t you think?”
“For sure; where’s the volume control?”
“It’s a touch thing on the spline: acts as a built-in mouse on a laptop.”
“So tell us what the book is all about after this commercial, if you would, please.”
“Celebrate” (3:21)
“Okay, we’re back. So, tell us about your book.”
“The title is a little misleading: it’s not about the haves and have-nots material-wise; it’s about those who understand reality compared to those who are out-to-lunch. The ‘Haves’ understand; the ‘Have-nots’ don’t have a clue.”
“Will the ‘Nots’ ever figure it out?”
“You tell me. I say not a chance with Nancy Pelosi and Ocasio-Cortez, see, right here on page 422 [‘Mony Mony’ (2:47)], who believe that less take-home pay is preferable to more take-home pay, for some unexplained reason. I mean, they never actually explain why Socialism has NEVER been a success either economically OR politically.”
“And the voters still vote for the idiots? Why?”
“Simple: they lack the DNA that will allow their brain to reason out of a paper bag, that’s why. They believe what they’re told and, since they don’t care about their neighbors, their country or even their grandchildren, only their selfish quest for power, they drink the Kool-Aid served by The View, Rachel Maddow and all the other Ant-Trump/American destroyers.”
“So what can we do? How to inform the other half, the ones who don’t get it?”
“Make the Schumers and Ocasio-Cortezes of the world explain Socialism, that’s how. Ask them what happened in Germany during World War II, what’s happening in Venezuela today, and to explain all the other failed Socialist countries going down the tube in Europe as they open their borders to the worldwide Muslim invasion. Ask them point-blank to give an example of a successful Socialist experiment where the people didn’t suffer, where the politicians didn’t run roughshod over the voters, and where higher tariffs didn’t equal kickbacks to our politicians and many of our bureaucrats. Ask them, on camera, why they think that Americans deserve to be treated as second-class citizens.”
“Thank you, Zork. That’s the way it is in America in the Year of Our Lord, 2018. Well, it seems that our time is up, Zork, and we wish you and your book all the success in the world. And so, on behalf of the crew, let me wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show, Zork, join us for burgers: Roving’s treat.”
“Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” (3:16)