by OPOVV, ©2017

(Aug. 3, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘Pulse of the Nation,’ the entertaining news show that has been voted the most-watched in its time slot. Of course that particular press release was three years ago but what the heck, right? Still sounds as good as it did the first time. We got a call — well, let me start over: our office received an email from Mr. Turtle who, as I’m sure you all know, is the assistant observer for our university’s telescope located on Wolverine Mountain north of town, and that’s where we’re heading. But first, let’s read a couple of letters:

Dear Mr. Roving:

You don’t seem to be a Global Warmer. Care to comment?

A viewer,



Dear Jane:

In response to your well-thought-out question, allow me to just say that our emphasis should be on pollution control to the extent of doing ‘no harm.’ Here’s an example: the water flowing by a house, town, city, county, and state should be as clean, or cleaner, than the water that continues on its merry way to the Gulf or to one of the oceans, or lakes. And I’m not going to mention clear-cutting/strip-mining because I’m sure you already know my views on the despicable people who engage in such criminal practices.

Yes, I know, in some cases government permits are issued to those who just wantonly destroy Nature’s habitats for pieces of silver, which still doesn’t’ let the ignoramuses off the hook, which, automatically makes the government an accessory after the fact, now, doesn’t it? Doesn’t make it right, though.

Littering comes in many forms, one of which is a vehicle’s old oil dumped on the ground in the back yard and the used filter going to the landfill. The solution is, of course, hefty fines for litterers and polluters. Some sort of exchange needs to be implemented: in order to buy a quart of oil one must first exchange an almost quart of used oil. For the filters, a similar transaction for purchasing a drink in a returnable bottle type transaction, if you get what I mean.

Thank you for writing and watching ‘Pulse,’


“And here we are, at the invitation of Mr. Turtle, who is walking out of the observatory to welcome us. Hello, Doctor Turtle.”

“Hello, Roving and crew. In the future, Roving, please address me as ‘Mr. Turtle who sits on rock in moonlight.’ Hey, just kidding. Mr. Turtle is just fine, although here at the telescope house they call me just ‘Doc-Tur,’ get it? A play on words, although I’m not an astronomer by trade; I’m a professor of Anthropology, a colleague of Professor Zorkophsky, by the way.

“The reason why I asked you to join me at this place is to share a pet theory of mine that I like to call, ‘One Reason for Defending Western Civilization,’ from a class that teach. The way I do it is to point to a person who has had a rather dramatic impact on all of us through the medium of contemporary music. Of course, I’m referring to none other than Ennio Morricone, an Italian composer who I like to refer to as ‘The Primo Classical Composer of Our Time.’

“When I teach the course, I pay homage to all of those classical composers who we all know and love. Mozart, it goes without saying, is at the pinnacle that he shares with no one except, of course, the Lord who brings us the cooing of the dove and the haunting song of the whippoorwill.

“I introduce my theory by showing this video:

Once Upon A Time in the West” 3:18 minutes long.

“And then I point out why this video represents who we are. First of all, the song is not about any ‘greater than’ but just a simple celebration of life. The recording was done in a church that has excellent acoustics by a woman who is not wearing a hijab or a burqa and, consequently, has her face, arms (wrists) and legs (ankles) uncovered. And then there’s the musical instrument (piano) that the Taliban would take great pleasure in taking a sledgehammer to. There are other clues, but the backdrop is of a large painting of The Last Supper.

“During the second class I show this video:

The Mission Main Theme” 9:34 minutes long

“I point out the obvious: the song opens with a woman who, again, is without a hijab or burqa taking center stage. It is interesting to note that, beyond the woman, is a harp prominently displayed. Near the end of the composition there’s a large choir, half women, uncovered, who are singing in public, a direct violation of Sharia Law. It’s a full orchestra in a hall specifically designed for such an event.

“I open the third class with this:

Cinima Paridisio” 2:17 minutes long.

“But this time I let the students take over and extrapolate what it means as far as representing Western Civilization today. By this time it’s impossible to defend Islam on any level, especially if such a performance would be performed in any Muslim country today: the harp would be destroyed and the woman beheaded.

“During the last class we discuss:

Man With A Harmonica” 3:33 minutes long.

“And here’s where we dissect all the films in which there’s music by Morricone; the underlying theme of good over evil and the gray area of life between the two. We review how movies, at times, portray truth. I close the class by showing a movie based on truth: FITNA.

“And that’s what I wanted to talk to you about. I thought it was important enough and that you’d like my concept. There’s a great burger place just down a-ways; we passed it coming up.”

“Sounds like a plan. Thanks for watching, folks, and on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Hey, great concept: defending our way of life through music, and in this case it was Ennio Morricone’s, but I suppose it just as well could’ve been Elvis or the Beatles. That’s it: burger time: my treat.”

Rock ‘n Roll is Here to Stay



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