by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Apr. 18, 2026) — “The End of the World” (2:37)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Continuing our popular ‘Unusual Occupation’ series, we have Professor Wert with us as our featured guest. What have you got for us, Professor?”
“Let me put on my ‘Plant Behaviorist’ cap and I’ll answer the question. I’ve brought some samples of my work to show you what’s possible in the ‘Plant Kingdom.’”
“Okay, I see a bunch of potted plants; looks like ten, and they look like Poison Ivy, right?”
“Right you are, but I call them ‘Poison-Jihadi-Iveys.’ I’ll put the polka-dot pots on the right and the others over here. Now, the ones on the right have been subjected to soothing sounds since planted — you know, ocean waves and rainforest sounds — while the others heard speeches by Democrats.”
“Okay, what’s the point?”
“The point is that the pitter-patter of the soothing sounds will make the plants less likely to make you itch if contacted with bare skin while the others will certainly make you itch.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“It was worth $800,000 in a government grant, I’ll have you know.”
“Okay, what happened?”
“Nothing yet since I’m having a hard time finding volunteers to handle the polka-dot plants.”
“That’s the first thing you’ve said that makes sense. We’ll pause for a short commercial break.”
“I Walk the Line” (2:34)
“And we’re back with Professor Wert who is packing up his plants. Leaving so soon?”
“I made my point; no sense in belaboring it by talking it to death. The plants represent Islam, and no matter how much you expose them to the Golden Rule (soothing philosophy of life), they’ll always revert to what they were from the beginning: savages who can’t be trusted. So, the ‘soothing sounds’ was just a gimmick for ‘The View’ crowd to latch onto and make fools of themselves, like when those infected with TDS – such as James Carville (3:47) – make public spectacles of themselves which makes everyone reach for the phone and frantically call for the men in white coats to take him away as soon as possible, and please hurry.”
“Yes, that makes sense. Well, off you go. Who’s next? Hello. Please state you name and occupation.”
“Name is Joe and I’m an ‘Observer of the Obvious,’ an ‘O-O.’”
“And what does an ‘O-O’ do?”
“I see a problem and follow the money.”
“You mean like a detective?”
“Yes. I start with a blank sheet of paper and put down, for instance, ‘FIRES.’ And then I list who benefits from the fires. Let’s say I put down ‘Maui’ and ‘Palisades’ and list who, in the end, makes the money.”
“Okay, I understand at least that much, but who pays you?”
“Why, the people who make the money. They pay me to keep my mouth shut, which I do. And my name isn’t really Joe.”
“I’ve wondered about that. In any community, in order to get a building permit, you’ve got to give access to emergency vehicles – police, fire and ambulances – and have utilities in place – sewer, water and electric. Well, the Palisades has all that already and yet they haven’t rebuilt. Couple of years ago a house in my hometown was burned to the ground and was replaced within fou5 months, including grass, shrubs and trees.”
“Yes, I see your point.”
“Remember that Las Vegas shooting? Sixty died and over 400 wounded and yet the FBI hasn’t stated the obvious. I have to run; I’ve said enough, and if I say any more they’ll be after me.”
“And there he goes, ‘Mr. O-O.’ We’ll pause for a commercial and be back with the closing.”
“I’m So Lonesome I Could Cry” (2:34)
“If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: judges are the weak link in our Republic. Oh, sure, you have your Pelosis, Schumers and McConnells, worthless politicians if there ever were any, but it’s the judges who really backstab us. They allow the Dems’ destructive policies to ruin our country. Maybe it’s about time to give the woke judges a taste of their own medicine and put them in jail, for real. If we had a Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and an Attorney General who would actually work at the job for which they were hired, maybe we can save our Republic; what do you think? Goodnight.”
“La Campanella” (5:17) [Enjoy]
Pastor Dunkin