by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Apr. 19, 2025) — “It’s a Sin to be Rich, It’s a Low Down Shame to be Poor” (4:45)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The other day we received an invitation to attend the premiere of Henry’s one-frog show titled ‘Story Time.’ As you can see, we’re up in the balcony at Archbishop Dunkin’s little church down on Hawthorn Street. The show is about to start so let’s sit back and enjoy it.”
The house lights dim as the curtain rises and the orchestra plays “Swanee River” (2:33) to the stage set as the pilothouse of a paddlewheel riverboat, circa 1870 on the Mississippi River. Henry, attired as the captain with tilted cap and pipe, enters to applause from stage right and hops onto the large steering wheel – helm — and faces the audience as the applause dies.
“The war is over. The ‘Great Divide’ has been amended and prosperity is the flavor of the times. The year is in the first decade of peace in the Republic except for the carpetbaggers stealing land in the Southern states, the coup de gras of Sherman’s march to the sea. War’s over but the South still harbors resentment for the Northern brotherhood, no matter where in the South one may point to.
“Call it a feud if you like. Do you think that Southern folk in another 100 years will still carry the torch of resentment for the North? I’d bet on it even though everyone associated with the blue and grey have long perished, been buried and turned to dust. We, the living, need not burden ourselves with the past deeds of the foregone keepers of hate: the past is past; let it rest in peace.
“Do you see the correlation between the two, the conjoined distrust between the South and the North, between Islam and those who profess the ‘Golden Rule’ as the gateway to salvation? Or, more to date, those who accept Trump as the president and those infected with TDS, ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome?’ The South fought against the tyranny of the Constitution, the document that proclaims that all men and women who are citizens are afforded EQUAL PROTECTION UNDER THE LAW. Today the Democratic Socialist Party of the United States is working overtime to undercut that law by the un-Constitutional rulings of woke judges, stupid orders from governors, and senseless rules from county commissioners and school boards.
“To us, it makes no sense, but to those who are part of the system of theft that has been entrenched for over 100 years, such as the Federal Reserve that has successfully resisted any audit since its inception in 1913, Trump is a worst-case-scenario: a president who cannot be bought. The most outspoken, those who have TDS, and those who are adept at ‘gaming the system (such as the ‘The Squad’ – AOC, Omar, Pressley, Tlaib) are what is commonly referred to as ‘from within,’ those who are destroying our Republic from within.
“That’s right, the United States will not fall from an enemy from without, but from the enemy within. Those who harbor animosity for those who fought and died for freedom and Veterans who served to keep the Constitution as the law of our land are not to be trusted even babysitting the family aquarium, let alone the cat.
“The day JFK was murdered was the day the Deep State took hold of America and let the payoffs and kickbacks flow, and flow they did. Vietnam was the first cash cow, Afghanistan the last. They want to make Ukraine the current, but Trump isn’t playing, and they don’t like it one bit. The flow of easy taxpayer money to ‘reelection’ coffers is over and, as long as Musk and the rest of Trump’s likeminded goal-orientated people are at it, we’ll all be on the right track to Make America Great Again. We’ll now pause for a short intermission. The orchestra will entertain you for a couple of minutes.”
The curtain lowers and house lights brighten as the song is performed.
“Greensleeves” (3:18)
As the song is about to end the house lights flicker and then dim as the curtain is raised to the stage set as the veranda of a Southern mansion. Henry is dressed as Colonel Sanders sitting on a rocking chair at a table sipping a mint julip. As he begins to speak, a violin playing “Swanee River” (3:18) is heard.
“Humans are a violent lot, and the only reason there’s a semblance of humanity is due to the love of the greater good. In other words, species survival takes precedence over worldly desires, or at least it should. Even though at least 100 million humans have been murdered by other humans since 1900, the fact that you’re still here is a testament of sorts. Of course, you know you’re doing everything to extinct yourselves unless you get wise to your refusal to learn from the past, namely clear-cutting and pollution. Talk about messing up the cage you live in; that’s the key. We frogs know about fresh water; heck, from elephants to tadpoles, we know about the importance of fresh water, but you people don’t have a clue. You bug-proof your lawns and it rains. Where do you think the water goes, water diluted with some pretty nasty chemicals? The water is either destined for an underground reservoir or on its way to the ocean via streams and rivers. Either way, the bad chemicals are destined to wreak havoc sometime somewhere down the line. Our earth, my friends, is not infinite but finite.
“But you don’t need to be lectured; you’re here to be entertained and so you shall be. Ladies?”
At this time the lady frog “Can-Can” (2:52) dancers enter from stage right, do their routine and exit stage left to thunderous applause.
“We do like our ladies. No pronoun problems with them. You know, if parents loved their children, I mean, for real, there would be none of this so-called identity crisis. Imagine cutting the breasts off your daughter because she’s a tomboy? Or doing mutilation on your son because he’s not? If they want to get inked – tattoos – or have parts of their body removed, so be it, but not until they are ‘of age.’ Not even a pill until they’re at least 18; not one day before.
“And then there’re the likes of Rachael Maddow, a brain-damaged person if there ever was one. It’s not her fault she’s messed-up or on TV, but, my goodness, man, the producer should have at least the brains to know we don’t need to see, nor do our kids need to see, losers like her. And that goes for CNN, MSNBC and PBS. Don’t need it; don’t need to see it; and certainly, don’t need to hear the lies and gibberish they spout. Why can’t they just, for once, tell the truth?
“’Transgender’ is just another word for brain-damaged; it’s a can short of a six-pack, not the sharpest knife in drawer. Face it, some people are flawed; heck, frogs are just as flawed, but we don’t go around whining and celebrating mental illness, and nor should you. What’s wrong with the other kids in schools these days? Are they okay with a classmate invading the girls’ locker-room? I don’t think so. Why don’t they take charge? Why doesn’t the PTA or somebody take charge and protect the children from 1) continuing this delusion and 2) cutting them up and shoving pills into them? Someone needs to stand up and for once be the adult in the room. Anybody in Maine listening?
“And has anybody looked at the headlines lately? Bad news followed by bad news followed by more bad news, and, depending on the source, lies that, even though eventually exposed as lies, continue to be told, as the ‘Russian Collusion Hoax’ is. Look, Trump never colluded with the Russians; it was a fabrication paid for by Hillary. Are we, for once and for good, clear on that?
“So, we know that Hillary was the architect to remove Muammar Gaddafi from his oil fields so she could reap the monetary rewards, that she lied about the ‘Russian Collusion.’ Your young people see the likes of Gavin Newsom making yet another fool of himself for the umpteenth time, just like all the other idiots of the Fake News and the Dems. No wonder the kids go out and randomly kill if they don’t commit suicide first; they’re made nuts. It’s as if there’s some kind of dastardly ‘Mind Ray’ that’s driving the adults nuts and the children follow.
“Abe Lincoln said if you tell a lie often enough, people will eventually regard it as the truth. Trump ‘will be the end of Democracy.’ An illegal immigrant cannot be a resident of Maryland, or anywhere else, for that matter; end of story, or it would be if the Fake News would report the truth. Don’t they realize that had Kamala won the 2024 presidential election, the chances of recovering our country would be just about one big, fat ZERO? I’d like a law passed that everyone who got the ‘Clot Shot’ be made to wear a dunce cap in public.
“Now in conclusion I want to remind you that the weak link of the Republic of the USA is the judges. Thank you for being such an attentive and polite audience.
“Fare thee well.”
The curtain lowers as the house lights brighten to the song, “Try to Remember” (3:01)
“And that’s it for us. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I: Goodnight.
“They’re serving dogs and soda in the basement. See you there.”
“Remember When” (4:28)