by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Mar. 18, 2024) — “Wildfire” (4:48)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky called to say he would like the opportunity to warn us about the lunatics among us; he said it was ‘imperative’ that he’d be given the opportunity to be on the show today. And so, without any additional bloviating, I give you the author of popular psychiatry books written for the amateur psychiatrist, the producer of that blockbuster movie, ‘Dandelion War,’ and, when needed, our substitute host, Professor Zorkophsky who, at times, likes to be addressed as ‘Zork’ because, he says, ‘It makes for a more relaxing atmosphere.’ The floor, as they say, is yours.”
“Thank you, Roving, for such a wonderful example of brevity. I asked to be on because there’s way too many loons giving advice and making recommendations based on make-believe beliefs.”
“Do you have any examples? I mean, anyone in mind that we should be on guard against?”
“The sidekick of Morning Joe comes to mind.”
“But isn’t the idea of a ‘sidekick’ to keep the host on track, make sure Joe doesn’t fly off into ‘Never-Neverland, into the deep end? Isn’t that part of Mika’s job?”
“One would think but, in Morning Joe’s case, they’re both nuts. They live in a world of their own making, acting as if neither had a brain, parroting the talking points of mainstream media. At this point Ted Nugent would say ‘Baa-Baa-Baa.’”
“Getting back on track, do you have any examples of what makes Mika a certified loon?”
“Sure do. If you would say, ‘I’m as hungry as a bear’ Mika might think you are part bear; that you share an inordinate amount of DNA with a real bear; that you are a dangerous animal and must be put down.”
“Really?”
“No question about it.”
“What if Mika lived on a farm and invited you over for dinner?”
“Don’t arrive and say, ‘I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.’”
“’Or cow.’”
“That’s right; she may run out to the barn and slaughter one or the other.”
“Small unimaginative minds.”
“Joe Scarborough and Mika, working in unison. Dangerous. Can’t make comparisons; can’t use subtleness; can’t parody; and can’t innuendo. Can’t say, “I’m so sick I could die’ because they’ll kill you.”
“Really?”
“No doubt about it. Look, Roving, pay attention. They call Trump [“Trump Won” (3:30)] a dictator but that’s what Joe Biden is. They say MAGA is for Socialism but that’s what they are. They say Jan. 6 [“Justice for All” (2:24)] was insurrection yet that’s what Pence and Pelosi did by accepting known fraudulent votes to overthrow the 2020 election.”
“Just the opposite, right? They say one thing but mean another.”
“Trumps says ‘bloodbath’* so they take it the way they would say it: literally. You can’t do sarcasm with Dems because they are not sophisticated enough to understand sarcasm; it’s over their heads; in one ear and out the other.”
“So, they are the loonies, right?
“You bet. I think that when Trump [“81 Million Votes, My A**” (3:13)] used the word ‘bloodbath,’ it was a deliberate plant, a hook, a catch, a word that has the connotation as violent and vivacious, to get a reaction from, here it is, stupid people who can’t think for themselves because they don’t know how to think. They can’t reason that the word was used to get a deliberate rise out of those who are the loons.”
“No way.”
“Face it, Trump’s a smart cookie. He’ll outsmart them every time.”
“So, they fell for the bait?”
“Hook, line, and sinker, and because they jumped before they thought, they have egg on their faces and, get this, they are so stupid, have such an acute case of ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ they can’t see it; they don’t even know that the more they talk, the more, for instance, Mika spouts, the dumber she becomes.”
“She believes her own lies?”
“No doubt, the mark of a certified lunatic, and that’s my professional opinion.”
“Good place to end the show. This is your Roving Reporter, along with Zork, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Bloodbath: Mika and Joe ought to look at Chicago and all the other big cities and it’s only going to get worse, everywhere.]
Wasn’t Mika’s father the now-deceased Zbigniew Brzezinski? Wasn’t Zbigniew one of Barack Obama’s closest advisors? As we all know, “Morning Joe” fits right in with these fools (of course, that includes Obama). What a foursome that is. Just one reminder for Mika and Joe: STAY AWAY FROM WATER WHEN OBAMA IS NEAR. IT HAS A TENDENCY TO BE WET.