“UNLAWFUL ORDERS”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(Apr. 26, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to Pastor Dunkin’s church down here on Hawthorn Street, and boy, do we ever have a treat for you. With me here is the co-author, the General, to lay the groundwork for this evening’s entertainment.”
“I’m sorry, Roving, but there’s a glitch so we can’t show you the rushes we’ve spliced together at this time: it seems there’s some sort of disclosure dispute with the DOD.”
“Oh, that’s too bad.”
“Don’t fret, Roving, I’ve brought along one of my chalkboards – excuse me while I wheel this on stage – and give the audience a synopsis of what ‘The Dandelion War’ is all about.”
“Seems fair. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, the General.”
“Thank you; as you were. Well, you all heard what was just said, so let me start by writing ‘Barry Soetoro, Iranian/Muslim Brotherhood’ here at the top of the board. Next comes ‘Goal: destroy America’s economy’; then in this little box I’ll put ‘Trade one Ambassador for Osama bin Laden’; next comes ‘Deal with Russia to get uranium to Iran’; followed by ‘Grand theft of our treasury and give billions to Iran.’ There, that’s the start, the opening salvo of the movie. Next comes ‘Hire Eric Holder to deliberately promote racial discord.’ Yes, I see someone in the audience has a question.”
“General, I thought the movie was about a disagreement between a man and his wife about dandelions in the front yard; what happened?”
“And it is, I assure you; it’s just that these other things are subplots. Here’s another one: WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE? And let’s not forget giving the mastermind murderer – Osama bin Laden — of thousands of innocent Americans and damaging the Pentagon and the total destruction of the Twin Towers on 9-11 a full Islamic burial aboard a United States Navy ship.”
“And why did we do that, give bin Laden a burial? Why didn’t we let the pigs eat him?”
“Because that was the order from the White House, from Valerie Jarrett and the de facto president Obama. I see another hand raised: yes, your question?”
“General, I’ve heard rumors that the burial of bin Laden was filmed and sent to Iran and that you used some of it in your film and that’s the problem with the DOD.”
“Yes, that’s right, but not for the reason you suggest. You see, while filming the burial of bin Laden it was unavoidable filming American sailors performing the disgusting act, and they’re the ones who are raising such a fuss. It seems that they are highly ashamed of what they were ordered to do and don’t want anyone to know.”
“And I have a follow-up on that, General. What do you think about what the Navy did?”
“Let me preface my answer by stating that I’m retired from over thirty years of serving my country honorably — in the Army — but I was mighty ashamed of our Navy for giving bin Laden a burial at sea. We lost many a sailor during World War II, and to have the waters of our oceans tainted with such scum as bin Laden sickens my stomach. And I’ll tell you what else sickens my stomach: a United States military man following such UNLAWFUL ORDERS. And I’ll say one more thing about the subject: if that happened in Vietnam, in 1965, that Admiral or Captain aboard that vessel would’ve been fragged, and if that upsets you, too bad: I’m just telling you as it is. I have never felt ashamed to be associated with the United States military but I was on the day that I learned that the US NAVY gave bin Laden a burial at sea with full Islamic honors. Makes me seasick just thinking about it, so if you’ll please excuse me.”
“I’m sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but the General just left the stage so I think this will be a good time to sign off and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Gee, I’m glad that’s over with. You know, I served in the Navy and I have to agree wholeheartedly with what the General said, about being ashamed of our military, specifically our Navy, when I heard they gave bin Laden — may he rot in hell — a burial at sea. Burger time: my treat.”
“Piggies” (1:57)