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“AN EMPTY SUIT”

by OPOVV, ©2020

Photo: Lars_Nissen_Photoart, Pixabay, License

(Jul. 12, 2020) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today we’re interviewing Professor Zorkophsky about his controversial new book, ‘Our Stagnant Congress: the Cesspool of the Incapable Leading the Inexcusable,’ which has already reached number one on the bestseller list and there’s rumors that Hollywood is interested in making it into a television series. The Professor is probably best-known for his blockbuster hit, The Dandelion War, yet has remained accessible and humble at the same time. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ Professor, the show with the most nominations of any show in its time slot.”

“But have you actually won any?”

“Any what?”

“Awards?”

“Oh, well, we’re not here to talk about ‘Pulse,’ the show with the most nominations; we’re here to do a book review. Isn’t that right, Professor?”

“That’s right: to hawk my latest. And, by the way, please address me as ‘Zork’ as long as we’re in my comfortable office, speaking of which, I’ve developed a new telescope that I want you to take a look at before we dive into the swamp, figuratively speaking. Here, step into the elevator and we’ll take a look.”

“But we’re going down.”

“Yes, Roving, elevators do go up and down. Sorry, didn’t mean to be rude, but if we go down just sixty feet, that gives us a tube one-hundred feet long that eliminates any photons from the sun reaching us.”

“Okay.”

“That means our sky is perpetually dark: we can view the stars in the daytime. Now as far as alignment goes, we let the earth do it for us: all we do is calculate where we are and that’s it: piece of cake. Here, have a look.”

“I see stars. Wow, oh, these aren’t stars; they’re galaxies. And they’re clear as a bell; it’s as clear as Hubble. How’d you do that?”

“Aren’t computers amazing? The photons that we capture are processed by a computer program:  you know, cleaned-up of any distortions, but that’s not what I wanted to show you. Here’s what I want to show you: see?”

“I’m looking at two photographs the are similar but different. What am I seeing?”

bbAAER, Pixabay, License

“You’re seeing the first computer graphic of visible light – the one on your left – and a printout of the same photo, but in X-Rays, on your right.”

“Two photos from one piece of film?”

“No, not film: a Charged-coupled device (CCD): computer chips that can figure out light intensity compared to radiation intensity. Look at the screen: with this dial the computer can figure out all the different wavelengths of all the different elements and, presto, we have an interferometer from just one snapshot that’s stored in the memory of this-here laptop.”

“That’s amazing.”

“But wait. Come over here and stand still and I’ll take your picture.”

“Should I smile?”

“All done. No radiation at all: all I did was to take your picture and, look, here you are. See, this is how much calcium and vitamin ‘C’ in you. Pretty neat, don’t you think?”

“All that from just a photograph?”

“Well, yes, but it has to all go into this computer.”

“I’m amazed; what do you say we take a break?”

Maybe I’m Amazed” (3:53)

“Hey, Zork, can your computer gizmo work with taking a picture of a picture?’

“I’m not quite following you.”

“Look, let’s turn the computer on and get a video of Pelosi — how about when she said, ‘We have to pass the bill to see what’s in it’  (0:45) to see if it’ll work on her.”

“Gee, Roving, I never thought about doing that. Okay, here’s Pelosi lying to us and now let me download this information and see what we get.”

“And that’s the printout? Why, it’s blank; is something wrong?”

“No, it’s working just fine; it self-checks every five seconds: looks like Pelosi is an empty suit, just as Obama* is.”

“Yes, it does, doesn’t it? So why don’t they recall her? Why don’t they be done with the empty suit? Are they all as empty as she is?”

Photo: Nancy Pelosi official website

“They’re not all bad, Roving. But it’s true that Pelosi has to go back to our first Socialist State – California – or to prison; maybe to an Old Folks’ Home; whatever it takes to get the traitor out of Washington.”

“Traitor?”

“She has been after Trump even before the election of 2016; why, she’s so out of it that she still believes in the Russian Hoax, believe it or not.”

“No way; she’s acting, making it up.”

“No, she’s not; she really is off her rocker; she believes in the BLM, the toppling of statues, and truly suffers from Trump Derangement Syndrome. In short, she is as nuts as Andrew Cuomo and Bill de Blasio combined; as wacko as Lori Lightfoot and Eric Garcetti, Lois Farrakhan and Ilhan Omar all rolled-up as one bestselling textbook of ‘The Schizozoids of the 116th Congress: What has Pelosi Wrought?‘”

“That sounds like it’ll be a pretty good book, Zork, and I’d like to talk about it more but we’ve just run out of time and so, on behalf of the crew and Zork, this is your Roving Reporter (RR) wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Obama: when it’s all said and done:  WHERE’S THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?]

The Sky is Crying” (4:39)

OPOVV

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