by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Nov. 3, 2023) — “A Fire I Can’t Put Out” (3:02)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. In the last episode of the ‘Adventures of Henry,’ Henry was about to be locked in a bar, but he made his way out by rolling up in his ‘Mole’ disguise so he looked like a ball of dust as he was swept onto a dustpan, dumped into a wastepaper basket and taken out to the dumpster. After the coast was clear Henry got out of his disguise and made his way to a county playhouse.
“Henry spotted a birdbath outside the playhouse, so he freshened up, had a few beetles and then made his way inside by ascending on his suction pads up the side and sneaked through a torn screen. Oh, how fortuitous; the play is about to begin. What do you say we listen in and learn what Henry sees?”
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and I see Henry, the talking frog, third window from the back. I understand that Henry is working undercover, so what do you say we leave him alone? The name of our play is ‘Gotcha!’, a story of our government’s subliminal indoctrination for the uninitiated. Whenever you watch the news, switch channels, and when you hear the same pablum being pushed, you know somebody is trying to hoodwink you. So, without further introduction, I hope you will all enjoy our play. Please dim the lights and start the music.”
“Highway to Heaven Intro” (1:32) is played as the curtain rises to a stage set as the bridge of a US NAVY destroyer.
“Captain on the bridge!”
“What you got, XO?”
“There’s an unidentified ship intersecting 0-2-0, 7,000 yards.”
“Chinese?”
“Nav think so, Sir.”
“Very well. Better be safe than sorry. We’ll go to GQ, have the crew wear battle uniforms, FULL WOKE. I like the pastel ones the best. Have the best criers on the fo’c’sle. Oh, and have them wear the faux mink stoles.”
“Did I hear you say, ‘FULL WOKE,’ Sir?”
“That you did, sailor. We’ll show ‘em who’s boss on the high seas. Have them parade through the bridge before they make their way up front.”
“Aye, aye, Sir.”
A few minutes pass and then 30 of the crew pass through the bridge wearing tutus with faux stoles.
“XO, do they have their ‘VAX PASSES’ on them?”
“That they do, Sir. We’ll show those Chinese what a real navy looks like.”
Curtain lowers to a standing ovation.
And ovation.
And ovation.
Henry can’t take it anymore and, using his cape, glides to center stage.
“Stop it! I just got one question: Just how out of whack are you people? Are you all Dems?”
A chorus of ‘We are not election deniers, not Birthers and not closed borders! We support human trafficking, rape trees and Fentanyl!”
“Yes, I’m beginning to understand why you liked the play so much.”
“Why, what’s wrong with it?”
“Ever hear of a ‘moderate Muslim?’”
“All Muslims are moderate until they’re not.”
“You all watch the news?”
“We’re news junkies.”
“Watch Stinchfield the other night?”
“And CBS, CNN, all of them. Even Studio 6B.”
“They say anything in common?”
“They said that all Muslims are not bad.”
“Define ‘not bad.’”
“Maybe they don’t cut the heads off babies.”
“You mean, ‘They don’t cut babies’ heads off while the babies are still alive and crying’; is that what you mean?”
“Yes, that’s what we mean.”
“Does ‘not bad’ include trashing the Constitution and replacing it with Sharia Law?”
“I suppose it does mean trashing the Constitution and replacing it with Sharia Law.”
“Do you know that Sharia Law degrades women?”
“No, we do not know that, but surely they don’t mean to make women second-class, that women have to wear a tent.”
“Does ‘not bad’ have anything to do with the GOLDEN RULE?”
“No, but they’ll learn, we’re sure.”
“You’re sure?”
“Almost sure, for sure.”
“’Almost for sure.’”
“So, you liked the play?”
“Loved it; we all loved it.”
“Why?”
“It showed that love will always win over bad people.”
“Oh, really? Then let me tell you about ACT II. In ACT II the Chinese ship pulls alongside the American destroyer, boards the destroyer, takes over the ship and throws everyone overboard, and because there’s so much blood in the water, the sharks finish off any of the sailors still alive. Eats them all. Curtain lowers. The end.”
“You sound suspiciously like MAGA. What do you say we tar and feather the frog!”
“Oh, my, oh, my; Henry is in dire straits. Will Henry escape from the frenzied mob? Will Henry make it to safety before the deranged Dems get a hold of him? They want to tar and feather him, you know. Be sure to watch the next installment of the many exciting adventures of ‘Henry, Secret Agent Mole!’ to see how, and if, Henry escapes.
“And that’ll do it for this episode. Good show. Goodnight.”
[Figure it out yet? The ‘armed IRS Agents’ aren’t after your taxes; they’re after your guns.]
“(Let Me Be Your) Teddy Bear” (1:48)
Roving Reporter
Excellent article.
I understand that the Biden/Obama administration is starting a new program to fight Islamophobia. Maybe they would like to explain why it is a “phobia” to fear people who want you dead?
The woke believe what they believe as blind as they ever will be.