Here’s News: Policy Outsmarts Money (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2023

(Jul. 28, 2023) — “2001: A Space Odyssey” Theme (1:48)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We have a full show for you so let’s get right with it. James Simpson is a pollster for whatever result you want so he’s been financed by the Dems and the Pentagon for the past couple of decades. Welcome aboard, Mr. Simpson.”

“Glad to be here, Roving. Been watching ‘Pulse’ way back when you were broadcasting from under the awning across from the train station. The pollster business is great, never better.”

“Why’s that?”

“’Brandon,’ that’s why.”

“Who’s Brandon?”

“As in ‘Let’s go Brandon!’, understand? The Dems want war because war is good for the ’Military Industrial Complex,’ and what’s good for the arms manufacturers is good for campaign contributions; get it?”

“Follow the money.”

“Rule number one in any detective course: follow the money.”

“And then came Trump [‘I Won’t Back Down‘ (3:22)].”

“And then came Trump upsetting the apple cart. You know who was most upset? The Porsche dealers around the Beltway, that’s who. You see, the hierarchy of politicians’ staffers is determined by what model Porsche they drive, and if their boss can sell the idea that our military men and women get killed and maimed – for a good cause and all that malarkey — all the better.”

“So, you sell the idea of war?”

“No, all I do is ask questions and get the results that I’m paid to get. I started during the Vietnam Police Action. I asked, ‘Are you against Communism?’ and they would answer ‘Yes,’ and then I would ask, ‘Should the United States fight Communism?’ and again they would answer ‘Yes.’ And then all of a sudden: ‘Americans want to fight Communism in Vietnam.’

“That easy?”

“As easy as stealing candy from a baby.”

“Tell us about Ukraine.”

“Same formula: are you against Communism, the Russian kind?”

“Now what do you mean by that?”

“I mean that the ignorant Dems believe that American Communism is good and works well, not like Communism in other places.”

“But Socialism doesn’t work at all, never has, anywhere at any time.”

“So? Look, people are gullible and can’t think for themselves; why, they elected that cheap suit, Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, twice.”

“And along came Trump [’81 Million Votes, My A**’ (3:13)].”

“Say goodbye to the lies and stealing from the citizens; the Ferrari dealership in Arlington will be forced to downsize.”

“End of the gravy train, is it?”

“I’m afraid so. The taxpayers will get their money’s worth, and the politicians will be forced to tell the truth and keep their campaign promises.”

“It’ll be tough.”

“So, I’ll tell you what Trump [‘Justice for All’ (2:24)] has done: if you have a good idea, no amount of money can topple it. Do you want freedom or Biden? That’s it: truth, or live in a country in the direction we’re going, welcome your CCP masters and die in an internment camp, if you make it that far.”

“So, if not Trump, who?”

“Nobody. All these Swammies and Santas are just being used by the Deep State; either knowingly or not, the results are just the same: attempting to water down something that shouldn’t be watered down.”

“Well, what a wonderful guest you have been, so thank you for your time. Let’s take a break and get to our next exciting guests.”

“There’s a Moon Out Tonight” (2:14)

“But before we get to our scheduled guests, we just received an important communique from Professor Zorkophsky which reads as follows:

PUBLIC NOTICE: Professor Zorkophsky’s ‘NUT INSTITUTE’ is now accepting applications for deprogramming sessions to cure ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome.’ The cost will be based on ability to pay; however, for the very, very deranged, exceptions for cost and availability will be overlooked. We reserve the right to deny anyone we deem ‘too nuts to cure,’ better-known as ‘What’s the point?’ in which the hosts of ‘The View’ come to mind. There are some who need immediate attention, such as Congresswoman Madeleine Dean, about whom the Professor said, ‘Maybe we can cure her through logic and common sense. In any case, she needs to be institutionalized ASAP.’ Our crisis hotline is manned 24-7.

“And now to our next guest, Fran, who saw a UFO near an Air Force base. So, you said you were driving at night and saw a large round object hovering and it had lights, is that correct?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Where was this and at what time?”

“Upstate New York near Stewart Air Force base last fall around 9:00 pm.”

“And then what did you do?”

“Called the police where they gave me the cold shoulder.”

“And that was the end of it? Anybody ever come and knock on your door? Any calls?”

“Never, not a one.”

“Alright; thanks for sharing that sighting with us. What do you say we take a short commercial break?”

“Try That in A Small Town” (3:00)

“And we’re back with Gerald Oaks who claims he saw an underwater UFO somewhere in the Pacific. Tell us what you saw.”

“Masks don’t work and there’s no such thing as ‘global boiling.’”

“Yes, we are quite aware that masks don’t work, that all they are is a form of control.  We all know that the global boiling is a sleight of hand to take away from humans polluting, not only our lakes and rivers, but the oceans as well. One day we’ll come to realize that our most precious resource is fresh water. What did you see out there in the middle of the ocean?”

“I just want to add that this Trump- [‘Trump Won’ (3:30)] bashing and indictments are over the top and, hold it: I just want to say one more thing and then I’ll tell you what I saw. I wanted to say the words ‘indictments and the Second Amendment’ in the same sentence but I’ll let it ride. Okay, now to what I saw.”

“Like pulling teeth.”

“Pardon me?”

“Never mind, just tell us what you saw, please, since we’re just about out of time.”

“Oh, alright; all you had to do was ask. I was on the 03 deck of a Light Guided Missile Cruiser, and it was dark, really dark, no moon. I was leaning against the lifeline on the starboard, aft quarter, side of the ship, on top of the missile house, when I saw a green light on the horizon, a pinpoint bright green light.”

“What shade of green?”

“Just the middle-of-the road green, not light, or dark, but bright, like a spotlight.”

“Under the water.”

“Well, I didn’t know it was under the water ‘til it got closer at a pretty high rate of speed, say 100 mph or so.”

“Under water? Wow. And then what?”

“It just stopped under the ship so there was a green glow that extended beyond the footprint of the hull, so to speak. But it stayed under and we’re cruising along at, well, make it 22 knots, and it just stayed under the ship for, oh, I don’t know, say a couple of minutes, no longer, and then zapped off the starboard front quarter, like it made a 90-degree turn.”

“Did you report the sighting to anybody, ever tell anybody about what you saw?”

“No, not until years later, many years later.”

“What did you think at the time?”

“I was concerned, no doubt about it. And then I had the thought that I better keep quiet about it; I mean, not later but at the time. I thought if the ship just continued merrily along it might leave me alone. I also thought that it knew I saw it, as crazy as that sounds. I remember the incident as if it happened yesterday, it made that much of an impression on me.”

“How deep do you think it was and what about the shape and the size of it?”

“Well, now, the closer it got the more fuzzy it looked, and it was round, at least the glow of it, so I suppose the shape was round, too, but that’s just speculation. Deep? As it was approaching it looked about 20 feet deep but, as I said, it looked larger the closer it got and when it got below the ship the glow extended about 300 feet the length of the hull and extended about maybe 20-40 feet out, under the water; the light didn’t go above the water. Fuzzy green glow, but not watered-down green. No sound and no wake. And then, like I said, when it zoomed away it was gone like a flash, immediately, like it didn’t have to work up to reach the speed it traveled; it was right there from the start. Fast, really fast. And it just went off into the horizon, or underneath it. Not a sound except for the wind and the waves and the normal ship engine noises and vibrations.”

“Anything more to say before we sign off?”

“Nothing except if you’re a Dem and like Biden, that means you’re for rape trees, 80,000 kids missing, drugs, human trafficking, and nothing at all good for America. These illegal immigrants should be kicked out, never should have been let in. That rat Mayorkas is a real work of art, as are today’s FBI GESTAPO goons. And, really now, let’s put everyone in the Department of Homeland Security in prison; we would all be a heck of a lot better off. They let Muslims in with a smile, a key to an apartment and spending money, meanwhile kicking our homeless Veterans in the teeth. The DHS is nothing but a bunch of traitorous bums, if you ask me. Same sentiments towards the UN.”

“And we couldn’t agree more. Whew, talk about long-winded. Let’s end this. This is your Roving Reporter, along with Gerald, Fran, and James, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Alright, good show. Burger time: my treat.”

“Dream Lover” (2:30)

[The UFO sightings by Fran and Gerald are 100% true. What is reported is exactly what they saw.]

[We here at ‘Pulse’ emphatically support Henry as the next Secretary of Defense.]

Roving Reporter