by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Jul. 12, 2023) — “It’s Now or Never” (3:19)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Today’s guest is our resident fortuneteller, Madam Shylock. Nice seeing you again. Take it away.”
“Thank you, Roving, for such an insightful and welcoming introduction. I’d like to say a few things to set the record straight, so to speak. Now listen up. Now is the time that will determine our fate, whether we succumb to the lies and assist in our nation’s demise by not lifting a finger to stop the insanity or stand tall, even to the point of disobeying our government, be it insurrection by court or otherwise. We are in the end game, make no mistake about it.”
“You mention ‘insurrection.’ What do you mean? Do you mean…”
“Protocol forbids me to be explicit, I’m afraid.”
“Okay, name the enemy; how do we identify them?”
“Anyone who works for the federal government is on top of the list, and if you live in a blue state, all its employees and everyone who works in the communication industry.”
“That includes CBS and the rest of the FAKE NEWS, right?”
“And beyond to the pundits who suffer from ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’; there’s no better examples than the co-hosts on The View and Morning Joe.”
“There must be others.”
“Yes, anyone who is not for Trump 110%?”
“You mean the Dems.”
“Let’s add DeSantis and everyone else in the RINO PARTY (aka Republican Party) who wants to be the nominee and all they’re doing is making colossal fools of themselves. And speaking of Joe Scarborough, he tops the list of being infected with ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome.’ We run out of Afghanistan and the Taliban murders the girls who went to school and learned how to read or barges into homes destroying music instruments, taking a sledgehammer to pianos and flutes. Nice going, Joe, standing up for a total loser: ‘Let’s go Brandon!’ We pull out from Afghanistan and leave the foreign workers to be dragged from their beds to be beheaded in the street. Reminds me of when the Viet Cong took over South Vietnam and the following bloodbath wasn’t reported by the FAKE NEWS.”
“Even back then?”
“Even back then. I mentioned DeSantis. All he had to do was keep his mouth shut and he would’ve been a shoe-in in 2028, but he had to open his mouth and diss Trump, so now he’s out forever and I never want to see his face again. So much for my governor. That’s all he had to do, is keep his mouth shut. What a dope.”
“We couldn’t agree with you more. Florida is proud of having no state income tax, but what about property taxes?”
“What about them?”
“Why, they’re through the roof but nobody says a word about it, do they? Let me tell you, it’s not all hunky-dory in paradise.”
“I can see that. Sounds a lot like FAKE NEWS raising its ugly head, doesn’t it?”
“It most certainly does, especially when you conclude that there is but one political party, the Dem-RINO Party. You see, the Democrats and the Republicans have been working the same side of the tree, meaning everyone in Congress benefits from a war. Buy war munition stock and become rich, okay?”
“But now we have the MAGA Party, right?”
“The truth is that the USA has tasted the beginning of the end. We have curtailed tapping into our phenomenal national gas deposits under Texas; we were on the road to energy dominance only to buy dirty crude from Venezuela, a country run by an incompetent paranoid dictator who will be remembered in the same breath as Hitler and Mao Zedong. Bottom line is Trump is the only hope we have; the only game in town; our only chance of a royal flush is Trump (2:24), and don’t you forget it.”
“We surely won’t, and with that, this is your Roving Reporter wishing each of you a good night: Goodnight.
“Good show. I haven’t heard from the Little People, have you? Seen Henry lately? Fed him breakfast? Burger time: my treat.”
[Reminder: being unarmed is being unarmed and helpless.]
“White Rabbit” (2:44)