by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Mar. 10, 2023) — “In the Navy” (3:55)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us is Doctor James who decided to be on ‘Pulse’ to share his celebrating his earning the moniker of ‘Doctor.’ Welcome, ‘New Doctor James.’”
“Thank you, Roving. Gee, whiz, but had I known how easy it was to become a ‘Doctor’ I would’ve been one years ago, back when Barry Soetoro, aka Obama, was the defacto president.”
“Easy? What kind of doctor are you, anyway?”
“The General kind. The kind that can charge exorbitant fees; what other kind is there?”
“None, I guess. So, you’re a new doctor. Tell us about your education: where did you go to medical school?”
“My gosh, Roving, but are you ever showing your age. There’s no longer ‘medical schools.’ What there is are ‘Accounting Institutions.’ Now, as far as the ‘Medical Degree’ is concerned, well, they give you a questionnaire, is what.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but what kind of questions were on the questionnaire?”
“Basically, it had to do with reporting COVID deaths with some real medical questions. I remember a number of them had to do with Ivermectin.”
“What about Ivermectin?”
“Well, if you answered, ‘No way,’ you passed.”
“I’m a little confused. Who administered the test?”
“Why, the CDC, in collaboration with the professional licensing division of the State of California.”
“But you know nothing about being a doctor.”
“On the contrary, Roving. I’ll have you know that I also have a degree in ‘Recitement.’”
“What the heck is ‘Recitement?’”
“Here, I’ll give you a couple of examples. Example 1: ‘Take two aspirin and get some rest.’ Here’s another: ‘I’ll prescribe some Vitamin B-12 and if you don’t feel better in the morning, call me.’”
“Not bad. A mixture of knowledge coupled with concern. And you’ll talk with them in the morning?”
“Are you kidding? No way, which is why they teach you to have an answering machine, preferably with this message: ‘I’m sorry, but the mailbox is full. Please try again later. Sincerely, Doctor James.’”
“That’s very good. So, you never answer your phone? You never read any messages.”
“’Yes’ and ‘yes.’ What is the greatest invention in the last 100 years?”
“Penicillin? The polio vaccine?”
“My gosh, Roving, you’re living in the ‘Dark Ages.’ No, the greatest invention in the last 100 years is the DEBIT CARD. Think of it: instant money. It’s a new day and life is good, thanks to Biden and his ‘New Beginnings.’”
“What about the USA?”
“And? What’s your point? How about going home and taking two aspirin?”
“Right. I think it’s time for a commercial.”
“A Summer Song” (2:35)
“We escorted the new doctor out the door, so we’re left with me, your Roving Reporter, to spout about the news of the day. Let me see if I’ve got this right: Tucker Carlson received thousands of hours of Jan. 6 Capitol surveillance footage yet has shown just a few measly minutes of it. Doesn’t quite pass the smell test, does it? Doesn’t pass any reasonable test. So, we have to ask ourselves — well, on second thought, no, we don’t. I stopped watching FOX when Bill O’Reilly said, every darn night, the phrase ‘moderate Muslims,’ every night after night until it was no more, forever and ever, until the end of time. Done with FOX and I should’ve known better than to get sucked in and watch Tucker for a few minutes this last week.
“Next to mention is a failed bank in Silicon Valley, CA. Here’s the thing with banks: when one goes under it is always followed by others. ‘Let’s go Brandon!’
“Last on the list is to remind you to be armed; don’t go around defenseless. Don’t go getting the ‘Clot Shot’ or boosted. Please don’t be as stupid as Schumer and McConnell or Harris and Biden or the governors of California, New York and Michigan, the mayors of Washington, DC; Chicago; New Orleans; Seattle; Atlanta or Lindsey Graham.
“And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. Remember this: all the turmoil in the world was a planned event; first on the list was to conduct a fake election to get rid of Trump and then to get rid of us, Americans who believe that the Constitution is the law of our land. Biden says the Constitution is not the law of the land; Democrats and RINOs believe that the Constitution is not the law of the land; and the Deep State emphatically believes that the Constitution is not the law of the land. The only people who believe that the Constitution is the law of the land are the law-abiding citizens, an endangered species if there ever was one. Goodnight, one and all.”
[Note: Professor Zorkophsky recently stated that Joe Scarborough has a major screw loose and, even though Scarborough may know he backed the wrong horse all his life, he may be in too deep to ever muster the courage to come clean. Too bad, because he has the platform to do good instead of continuing to spout his hate for our country, being the mouthpiece for the anti-Constitutionalists, the real Fascists, the BLM, ANTIFA and, face it, the Deep State crowd. Nice going, Joe; let us know if you ever grow up.]
[Last but not least: When I was in Vietnam, I thought my biggest enemy was the United States government, and I haven’t changed my mind one iota. The Joint Chiefs of Staff were worthless then just as they are now and the same goes for the Secretaries of Defense. Bunch of worthless good-for-nothings if you ask me.]
[Little People report: I believe everyone who had a hand in incarcerating any of the Jan. Sixers on a list, and that includes the Jan. 6 Committee. Maybe some birthday card list; all I know is that they are on a list. Everyone, especially including the guards.]
“Laughing” (2:43)