by Roving Reporter, ©2022
(Aug. 9, 2022) — “A Rose in Spanish Harlem” (2:54)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our first guest is the founder of ‘Let’s Not Go Off the Wall, Okay?’, a company that specializes in accurate predictions of elections, Sarah White. You predicted a Trump landslide in 2020 and you’re doing the same for 2024, so what makes you think he’ll do any better this time around?”
“It’s funny, but we’re the ones who are awake, thanks to the lockdown when the Mama Bears learned about the godless school boards teaching the lies of Critical Race Theory, or CRT. Secondly, under Trump, we were ENERGY-DOMINANT, and now look at us, buying oil from Venezuela and Iran and begging the Saudis to please pump more oil, yet the price of gas is still doubled as is the price of everything else as we inch closer and closer to a worldwide depression, all thanks to the stolen election.
“There would be no Ukraine, no open border, no human trafficking, and no fentanyl crisis and sure as heck no January 6 Russian KGB fake show trial that Liz Cheney is so off on if there were no fake election. And speaking of the Queen of the Swamp, I am being especially good until the day I die to make doubly sure I don’t go to the place where Liz Cheney is going after she dies.
“Ever since Donald and Melania Trump took that escalator ride to the White House, a new species of politician has emerged from the soup of the Swamp: RINOs. And here’s the thing: the RINOs only parrot what they’re told which, maybe coincidentally, is exactly what the Dems are told.
“So, there’s no Republican Party as there once was, just as there’s no Democratic Party as it once was. What the two morphed into is one Democratic National Socialist Party, commonly known as the NAZI Party anywhere else in the world.
“And if you don’t believe me, let me tell you a bit of the truth that you won’t hear anyplace else: the United States has imported millions of Muslims for a reason: to assist the Deep State’s extermination of the Jews. And to make matters worse, Tlaib and Omar are just the vanguard of Muslims in Congress that will, eventually, erase Israel as an ally of the United States.”
“Well, I hate to say it, but what you’re saying makes sense; actually, it explains a lot, especially the part of not making any effort to vet any of the fleeing Afghans or any of the Muslims coming across our southern border.”
“So, if you take the Republican Party and take the Democratic Party and add them together you get a big part of the Deep State.”
“What are some other parts of the Deep State?”
“Unelected bureaucrats, that’s what, the bane of our Republic, as are the so-called ‘woke’ DA’s and judges.”
“One more and then we’ll have to take a commercial break.”
“The Deep State Party will put up ‘Republican Candidates’ that ARE NOT MAGA PEOPLE, and we want MAGA, NOT Republicans so you can’t vote a straight Republican ticket. You are going to have to know which candidates are MAGA to make your vote count, it’s as simple as that.”
“So, know your candidates, right?”
“You have to know who you’re voting for, or should I say you have to know what you’re voting for: the Deep State or the Constitution (MAGA).”
“Thank you for the info, Sarah. And now we’ll take a quick commercial break; be right back.”
“Lavender Blue” (2:14)
“And we’re back and she’s right: it’s all about the Constitution, and nothing else matters. The Deep State nibbles and pecks away at the Bill of Rights. At the airports we’re subjected to unreasonable searches, and we hear every day about abolishing our Second Amendment. Guess what? I’m keeping my guns to keep my guns, and that’s the sentiment of all gun owners and supporters of the Constitution nationwide. Giving up our guns means surrender, and surrender is an option none of us can afford. And now let’s welcome our next guest, Naomi Wells. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you, Roving, I’m so excited to be here. I’d like to give a shout-out to my brothers and sisters back home if I may.”
“Sorry, no can do; station policy; it just is and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Tell us what you think is going on?”
“First, Mike Judas Pence and his fellow RINOs are making fools of themselves, and I wish they would get with the program and support the Constitution rather than try to destroy it.
“Secondly, I would like a public audit of the Federal Reserve, and that’s all I wanted to say.”
“Okay, thank you for being with us. What do you say we take a quick break? We’ll be right back.”
“Ain’t No Grave” (2:53)
“And we’re back. Our last guest is Paul Record, a small businessman. You’re not small.”
“No, I’m not a small person but my business was since I employed only a few people.”
“I had two full-time and six part-time employees.”
“What did you sell?”
“Well, now, I started out as a camping store and carried a few .22 rifles, but the day Barry Soetoro (aka Obama) became the de facto president all my guns sold out, and that’s when I became a gun store with camping supplies on the side.”
“How was business?”
“The Obama years were what I would describe as a ‘steady-good,’ but when Trump became our president the tents and sleeping bags sold out, so I went back to camping supplies. Maybe I sold a rifle every few days, if then.”
“So we had a fake election.”
“And that’s when the lines started because I was selling so many guns, so I bought a roach coach and parked it on the side parking lot. Everything was going really good, except back in May the cops started to park across the street once in a while, and then, in June the unmarked police cars arrived and that’s when my sales tanked. Look, maybe the cops don’t know it, but an ‘unmarked’ police car sticks out like a sore thumb. Anyway, I stayed open for a couple more weeks and then closed after 20 years to the day.”
“You bet. I’d just like to say I’m proud to have armed more than 10,000 of our fellow Americans; sold more 30.06 ammo than any other dealer in the Southeast for 12 of those 20 years; taught 1,500 weapon safety classes and became the godfather of 11 good kids.”
“So, what about the raid on Trump?”
“Think Nicolas Maduro and you’ll be on target.”
“Good thought, and with that this is your Roving Reporter, on behalf of Paul, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. The ‘beginning of the end,’ Burger time: my treat.”
“Jascha Heifetz plays Hora Staccato” (2:25)