Madam Shylock Foretells Liz Cheney’s Fate (RR)

by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Jun. 7, 2022) — “Sleepwalk” (2:27)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Madam Shylock just released a new book, ‘The Old Maid of Our Time,’ that went to number one on pre-sales alone. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”

“Thank you, Roving, for having me on your most prestigious show. When I got the call that I was on top of the list, it took me by surprise, let me tell you. And to top it off, I’m supposed to do the ‘Talk Show Circuit,’ which I told them no way will I leave my home and all the forlorn young ladies looking for ‘Prince Charming.’ No way will you see me interviewed by ‘Morning Mika’ or ‘The View.’ No way, no how.”

“Congratulations are in order just the same, I’m sure. I thought the concept of an ‘Old Maid’ was done and gone; passé; a concept of the past and not with ‘political correctness’ and ‘woke,’ the catchword for gullible and, face it, stupid.”

“And you’d be wrong. The fact is, just because the ‘Mainstream Media’ and ‘Fake News’ push lies doesn’t make it so. Everyone knows that this so-called ‘Jan. 6 Committee’ is nothing but a made-up Dem-Deep State ‘Dog and Pony Show,*’ and I got so sick of Liz Cheney that I wrote a book highlighting her mess of a life.”

“That sounds a tad strong.”

“Are you kidding? Are you for real? She puts innocent people in jail, people who had no business being hauled off in the first place. Truth be told, the United States Attorney General, Merrick Garland, and FBI Director, Christopher Wray, are the ones who should be in the gulag in Washington, DC, along with a slew of others. My gosh, but there are some sleazy gangsters in that city.”

“So how about telling us about the book after the break.”

“Without Love (There is Nothing)” (3:44)

“And we’re back. What’s the overall gist of the book, the message?”

“The overall theme is what happens when people are infected with ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ and how it totally destroys their lives. Oh, I forgot to tell you: the introduction was written by Professor Zorkophsky who, I must admit, helped me with the psychiatric terms, such as ‘looney as a bat’ and the dreaded ‘Mirror Avoidance Syndrome.’ The proceeds are going to ‘The Peter Navarro Defense Fund,’ I’m proud to say, so buy the book; you won’t regret it.”

“That’s great; good for you.”

“Thank you, Roving.”

“It seems that Cheney has a few ‘Syndromes.’ How many does she have, anyway?”

“As far as can be determined, 27, but there very well could be quite a few hidden ones; why, one look at her and you can tell she is one very disturbed nut. Zork, that would be Professor Zorkophsky, thinks she needs to be committed for our country’s good: somewhere nice and quiet; no mirrors.”

“Will she ever get well?”

“Will a child-molester stop molesting? Get real, Roving; she’s nuts, and for real, according to Zork. No, she’s so far gone that the best she can do is resign, tell the truth for once in her life, and leave for good, never to be seen again.”

“Good riddance?”

“For all concerned, trust me.”

“Alright folks, go out and buy the book, ‘The Old Maid of Our Time,’  that I’m sure you’ll enjoy; I know I will. And so, it’s that time when, along with Madam Shylock, I’ll be wishing you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. I really like that idea of all the proceeds helping Peter Navarro. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Dog and Pony Show: A reference to the lies that the Army was pushing during Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan and, come to think of it, even now. This so-called Jan. 6 ‘Insurrection Committee‘ is just another one of our government’s one big lie, another Dog and Pony show.]

[Little People Report: Incognito (taking names).]

“Your Lyin’ Blue Eyes” (3:03)

Roving Reporter