by Roving Reporter, ©2021
(Nov. 11, 2021) — “Ballad of Paladin” (2:07)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Rook, formally Pastor and then Bishop, Dunkin has invited us to his quaint little church down on Hawthorn Street. We’re set up in the balcony and the service is about to begin.”
“Welcome to our church; glad you could make it on this fine day. If you’re feeling low, if you’re in pain, whether it be physical or spiritual, we hope and pray that you’ll find the peace of body and of mind that we all desire. We invoke ‘Good Tidings’ for one and all, even to those who wish us harm, for the ‘Christian Life’ is to live by the Golden Rule. Let us stand and join the choir.”
“Crying in the Chapel” (2:22)
“Please be seated, and thank you for trying to stay on key. I want to talk to you about what we think we are and what the reality may be. We are, in real terms, electrical units that have the ability to move around. If we were big – I mean really big – and if we could study the earth through the lens of a microscope, we would see a bunch of us scurrying around, some in the air and even some under water.
“Upon further inspection of an individual, we would learn that the main electrical generating unit is housed in a round ball made up of bone – we’ll call that the skull – while the locomotion device is made of a skeleton that houses the organs that give the living unit the means of sustaining life. I understand that it’s a lot more complicated than that but, and here’s the question: is it really?
“God asked Jesus if he had what it takes, and, quite obviously, Jesus said yes, even knowing what his end would be. Me? I’m sorry, but I’ll take a pass because I’m not as forgiving as Jesus, not by a long shot, although I wish I were.
“When it finally dawned on me that my wife was committing adultery, I packed up and left. Of course, with the advantage of hindsight, I probably should have examined my own faults instead of passing a judgment that I found to regret over the years.
“Jesus would not have cast the first stone, but, on the other hand, Jesus never said that we have to ‘lie down and take it,’ which is, basically, my take on the teachings of the Bible.
“Let me put it to you another way: do the best you can; give the other the benefit of the doubt and let justice reign. Please stand and sing along if you wish.”
“Funny How Time Slips Away” (4:22)
“Thank you. From an insect’s point of view, we are organisms that have a hard head covered with moss (we call our moss ‘hair’).
“Today it is easier to tell the gullible and the bad parents from the thinking and responsible than ever before. The number of deaths from the COVID is impossible to ignore. I’m not talking from state to state, but from country to country and how each country has dealt with the Chinese trying to kill us all.
“The writing is on the wall and, really, now, has been for quite some time: our government can’t be trusted. Why would a parent, any parent, let their kids get ‘The Jab?’ Excuse me; allow me to step off my soapbox and get back behind the pulpit.
“President Brandon’s platform is called ‘Build Back Better,’ which, in ‘Swamp Talk’ means, ‘no building to achieve disaster’ as our country slides closer and closer towards the dreaded ‘R’ word (recession) on its way to the dreaded ‘D’ word (depression). My job is to give hope when things look bleak, and things are indeed looking bleak.
“The border is wide open and, even though some of the people crossing may be good people, they will never escape the fact that they are here illegally. Law enforcement continues to turn a blind eye to every illegal and every Muslim arriving at our airports. The cops treat a donut break as more important than solving a crime, such as the case of Jennifer Kesse, a textbook example of how not to investigate a missing person.
“Look, we all know that there are some honest and dedicated government employees, but this Biden-Harris Administration is a little too much for any honest person to take. The Georgia election process today is just as corrupt as it was yesterday, and unless we fix the vote problem, we will forever be ‘Building Back Batter’ to nowhere.
“So what is the solution to our ‘stupid’ problem? We used to be an energy exporter and look at us now, sending dollars to the Middle East so they can buy weapons to kill us, that or finance the next Muslim to Congress so they can vote Sharia Law in and the Constitution out. That’s right, we see our country imploding and don’t do anything about it because our enemies our using our own laws to do us in, just as the NAZIs did to the German people.
“And with all these illegal immigrants and other unwanteds here, why haven’t we heard anything about deporting any of them? The service will end after the prayer; burgers and dogs out back.
“Dear Lord, there must be one person in our country who has the guts to stand up for the Constitution and the rule of law. If logic and persuasion doesn’t solve the problem, then we have the right to protect ourselves by other means. Deport them; no money, not one red cent. Amen.”
“And that’ll do it and thank you for watching/reading: Goodnight.”
[Little People update: Continues to remain incognito.]
“Mr. Tambourine Man” (5:55)
Roving Reporter