Meet Ezra, Roving’s Replacement (RR)

“WE WOULDN’T WANT TO OFFEND ANYBODY…”

by OPOVV, ©2019

(Jan. 2, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the ‘Pulse of the Nation.’ It seems our sponsors aren’t pleased with my constant criticism of Islam, even as more and more Muslims invade the sanctuaries of peace-loving Jews and Christians. I’ve been told to ‘tone it down.’ So the latest Muslim stupidity was the murder of five girls who clapped at a performance of male dancers at a wedding. Can’t be having that, now, can we?

“As you can see, we’re back on our corner, under the awning, across the street from the railroad station as we confront – well, at least it sometimes seems that way – commuters on their way to the big city and ask them what bugs them the most. Let me introduce my replacement, Ezra, who the sponsors chose to replace me. Ezra, I hope you have a long and fruitful career. So long, folks; it’s been a great honor bringing you exciting shows. Take it away, Ezra.”

And the Lord commandeth me, Ezra, to speak unto you,

Saying it is good bringing you Truth and Good Tidings,

So do I speak, and good for me to do so, I’m sure of it.

“You, there, I commandeth you to be interviewed on ‘Pulse,’ God’s chosen hour.”

“Not me; no way. Are you for real? What kind of nut are you, anyway? Where’s Roving? What did you do with Roving?”

“He’s over there, standing with the guy holding a dog.”

“Oh, well, I’ll be; it’s the Talking Dog. I think I’ll go on over and pay my respects.”

“Wait! You, camera operator and stuffed-squirrel holder*, return, I say! I command it!”

“Hey, guys, what’s up?”

“Well, boss, to put it bluntly, if you go, we go. There’s no way we can work with a nut like that; why, he didn’t even recognize the Talking Dog; can you believe that?”

“I don’t believe it. So, now what? Let’s keep rolling in the hopes they give me my job back. Hello, Roving here with the Vietnam Vet and his Talking Dog. What’s up, guys?”

“The dog says he agrees with you about the impact the Muslims have in our neighborhoods that were previously 100% American and are now 100% anti-American. The creeping Sharia aspect of the Muslim invasion is alive and well, as it is in Europe, especially in places like Sweden, Germany and England, where rape gangs** flourish with impunity.”

“With ‘impunity?’”

“We wouldn’t want to offend anybody, now, would we? We can’t mention ‘Muslim rape gangs’; we can’t mention the truth; we can’t mention the word Caliphate.‘ We’re afraid to speak the truth that Islam isn’t a religion, but a despicable Totalitarian form of government that has undertones – actually, overtones — of Draconian Rule (Sharia Law) and if you don’t agree, do a little research on the murders of the children at the school in Beslan, Russia, in 2004.”

“Hold on, guys, this is what I got fired for in the first place.”

“What, for laying it all out on the table for all to see? What, people are afraid of the truth? Why, Islam has been marching for over 1,400 years, spreading its brand of Macho-Macho.”

“Okay, hold it. What the heck is this ‘Macho-Macho’ business? Is this the Talking Dog talking; is the dog making it all up?”

“The dog says she’s right here in front of you and you’re being awfully rude. She says she demands an apology. And as far as the relationship between Islam’s Sharia and South Americans’ Macho treatment of women, basically they’re the same and the only difference is the name: the results speak for themselves.”

“Okay, I’m sorry for being rude. Can you believe this, that I’m apologizing to a dog?”

“The dog accepts your apology. She says the reason why Islam is spreading so fast in Spanish-speaking countries is that, 1) the Pope isn’t worth a hill of beans and, 2) both systems treat women the same: like dirt. I’m not going to go into it all because it’s off-subject.”

“What is the subject?”

“The subject is what can you expect when you take two dissimilar cultures and slam them together?”

“You’re beginning to sound like Professor Zorkophsky. What do you mean by ‘slamming together?’”

“It’s when you take Muslims, sometime whole villages, maybe from Somalia, and drop them off in a civilized Christian community. It’s not logical to expect peace and harmony or, as Zork would say: ‘Nuts.’ First of all, it’s like a free sex smorgasbord for Muslim men who use the teachings of the Quran as an excuse to rape, torture and kill all non-believers, as the Quran teaches. So they get caught; so what? They say ‘it’s their religion,’ when the truth is that they’re nothing but uncivilized animals, worse than pigs. By the way, ever hear of a ‘pig rape gang?’ I think not.”

“Good point. You guys off to the dog park? Okay, maybe we’ll see you tomorrow. Let’s break for a commercial. What? Maybe there’s no sponsor? Well, heck.”

Lonely Teardrops” (2:35)

“And we’re back. I just got a note from the producer saying I’m rehired but to cut the Talking Dog segment. I don’t think we can do that. Yes? May I help you?”

“Don’t mean to bother you, Mr. Roving, but the other day you had on Luiza or something. Anyway, she mentioned something about building a ‘wheel-less RV,’ is that right?”

“Oh, yeah, right you are. Matter of fact, we had a couple of inquiries about what she meant by that. I’ll tell you, it’s like this: I think it’s called the ‘Concept of Operation.’ So an RV has the advantage of mobility, right? It’s what they call ‘off the grid’: being self-sufficient for a week or so. You know, have a fresh water storage tank, a generator and, nowadays, solar panels and batteries; and, of course, food.”

“So, what are you saying, that every house should have at least the same?”

“Well, yes, but not only houses, you see. Every apartment also.”

“What about condos?”

“Condominium/apartment: same thing, building-wise.”

“And a tornado shelter?”

“Look: it’s no big deal, okay? I guess you can call it ‘freedom,’ meaning the less dependent you are the more free you are. Does that make any sense?”

“Plenty. I get the picture. Here’s my train so I’m out of here. Bye and thanks.”

“You’re welcome. And off he goes and off we go and so, on behalf of the crew that stayed with me through thick and thin, I’ll be wishing you all a good night: Goodnight.

“Come on, we got to find ourselves some sponsors. Maybe we can get every viewer to send The Post & Email something to keep us on the air; now wouldn’t that be something? Let’s try and interview Nancy Pelosi and ask her why she wants MS-13 in our country; can we do that? Burger time: my treat.”

[*stuffed squirrel-holder: outdoor microphone furry windscreen muff.]

[**rape gangs: the police turn a blind eye to it all.]

California Girls” (2:44)

OPOVV

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