by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Feb. 24, 2026) — “Deranged old women who run their mouths* are the ‘MAIN PUPPETS’ of the ‘DEEP STATE’ while their advertisers, who never served in the military, sit back and rake in the money.”
“Mr. Tambourine Man” (5:32)
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We were all pleased as punch when we learned that Henry made it and is alive and kicking – speaking frog parlance. We are happy and proud to have Henry as our featured guest. Let me ask you, Henry, did you think you bought the farm before Zyklon, Great Ruler of the Milky Way, zapped you away from certain death?”
“It was surreal, is what it was. There I was, about to meet my Maker, when the next thing I knew I was standing before all-powerful Zyklon, beloved one that he most certainly is. I was about to meet all the dead animals that I knew in life, also the people that I came across who were taken before me. I must say, it was a two-edged sword. One the one hand I was disappointed that I didn’t see my long-lost pet dog, but on the other I was grateful that I was still alive and kicking – frog parlance.”
“I bet. So, you were out of the news loop for a little while; lucky you.”
“Yes, the time away from hearing pure stupidity for a couple of days was refreshing; there’s no denying that. I was thinking, how dumb do you have to be to think that the 2020 election was even halfway honest? There it was, right there on TV in real time: ballots suddenly jumping out from under tables, windows covered, tallies suddenly changing at 3:00 a.m. You either have to be a complete moron or on the take to act that stupid in public.”
“Well, many of our politicians have absolutely no hesitation to act the fool in public; just look at Senators Chuck Schumer and Dick Durbin if you want stupid.”
“That’s right, isn’t it? Those two always seem to put their foot in their mouth, no matter what the subject. You’d think they’d get it right for once, but they never do.”
“Not yet, they haven’t, and Schumer masquerades as a Jew.”
“Look, we’re not talking make-believe; just look at all the anti-ICE riots all over the place, people injured and killed.”
“Pastor Dunkin, the reason I requested to be on your show tonight was to say a few words about honesty, if I may?”
“The floor, as they say, is yours.”
“Thank you. I’ve had it; I’ve had it up to here (Henry hops to the top step of an 8’ stepladder and extends his right arm parallel with the floor) with the FAKE NEWS forever lying with never a retraction, not even when they’re caught with their hand in the cookie jar. They reported 24-7 on ‘Russian Collusion’ yet never apologized for the ‘Russian Collusion Hoax.’ They say Trump is bad, does bad things but NEVER ATICULATE WHAT THEY ARE. And I’m sick of it.”
“You’re not the only one.”
“It has to stop, and if the Federal Communications Commission – FCC — can’t put honesty as an important ingredient of reporting the news OR commentary, then I will make those who lie pay the price.”
“You must remember, Henry, that there’s a fine line between freedom of speech and censorship.”
“Look, we’re not talking make-believe; just look at all the anti-ICE riots all over the place, people injured and killed. Young people going berserk, acting crazy because the FAKE NEWS made them that way.”
“On purpose.”
“Yes, on purpose. Whoopie Goldberg lying, on purpose. CNN, lying on purpose and then half the population believes it: ‘If it’s on TV, it must be true.’ Wrong, but too many are too dumb to know they’re too wrong.”
“Yes, that seems to be the problem.”
“So, here’s my solution. Whenever the FAKE NEWS lies, they must tell that they lied and report the news without any stupid Communist bias; that’s what I’m saying.”
“And if they don’t?”
“They must. There’s like a choice here. Look, I don’t want to have to spell it out for you, but our country is on the precipice of imploding towards either an Islamic Caliphate or a vassal of the CCP; take your pick. Either way, we’re going down. Professor Zorkophsky says that by 2050 the Constitution will have been trashed and Sharia Law will rule the USA.”
“That’s right, if we don’t deport the Muslims starting with Omar.”
“Yes, true. Anyway, nevertheless, the FAKE NEWS must be made to report the truth instead of lying 24-7, starting now.”
“And if they don’t?”
“You don’t want to know what the wrath of a frog looks like.”
“No?”
“Never. It’s so horrible that I can’t even describe it. Let me just say this: there’s two ways to go. Either North Korea or the Taliban; either one welcomes disgraced Americans; it’s still better than being thrown into a frog pond here at home.”
“My, my.”
“Las Vegas wasn’t built by winners; it was built by people losing money; simple as that.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning that the United States is a nation of nitwits, and nominating Miss Cackle – Kamala Harris – for anything is beyond defending. Need I say more?”
“A little more.”
“Giving Joy Reid, Rachel Maddow, Candace Owens and Tucker Carlson the time of day would be considered being a traitor in my circle.”
“Same here.”
“Glad to hear it. Years ago, in the 1940’s through the 1960’s, there was no need for ICE because illegal immigrants were deported quickly. The ‘Green Card’ was the ticket to stay. People didn’t lock their doors, and there were few, if any, carjackings.”
“That’s true. What happened?”
“The Left happened; the Dems; President Johnson’s ‘Great Society’ that put the poor on welfare for generations; and the big-city Teachers’ Union where the ability to teach took a backseat to voting Dem for job security and over-the-top retirement benefits. Property taxes increased at the same rate of illiteracy, just like today. For proof, look at the poster morons of today’s Left: George Floyd, Renée Good and Alex Pretti, a group at the bottom of any social list; undesirables, a group of misfits if there ever was one.”
“That is so true.”
“What I’m saying is that one must be out-to-lunch to believe the rants of the Dems, aka Communists, aka a bunch of morons.”
“What do you plan on doing about it?”
“What I plan on doing about it is to require everyone who works at a broadcasting company or protests ICE to read the Constitution and then…take the test to make sure they understood it. Either that or go to jail for, say, 30 days ought to do it.”
“And if that doesn’t work?”
“Look, the truth is we’re at the end game for the United States; there is no tomorrow. Either we get the Dems out of our political system, meaning kicking the dirty Commies O-U-T, or we lose our Republic, and once gone there’s no getting it back. They want our guns, plain and simple. They want human trafficking, so they protest ICE. They want more Laken Rileys and Angel Moms, maybe not outright, but that’s the outcome of abolishing ICE.”
“Well, Henry, you’ve given us a lot to ponder. This is your Pastor Dunkin, along with our featured guest, Henry, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Madam Shylock sent over this jar of worms for you; I’ll nuke a couple of sliders from the freezer.”
[*Run their mouths: ‘The View.’]
[Please, somebody make Robert De Niro read the Constitution; maybe it’ll cure him of his acute TDS.]
“This Magic Moment” (2:35)
Pastor Dunkin