by Henry, ©2025
(May 18, 2025) — “Return to Me” (3:00)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. The following is the transcript of my recent trip to Hong Kong.”
“Ah-so, welcome back to Hong Kong, Most Honorable frog. You miss here in Hong Kong; we certainly miss you, yes indeedee. Boy got your luggage, which isn’t much, even for a frog. Pardon me if I speakee out of turn. No, your turn, too, of this I assure you. Trust me. We take turns like trusting old friends.
“I make joke? Found a sense of humor? What humor? I member of the CCP? Oh, yes, we all Majors. You hear Chinese speakee English, he or she Major of the People’s Republic of Army, like yours.
“Republics. Why different? You say, we say. See, same. Fasten seat belt, American frog who we thought was going to be America’s next Secretary of Defense. You lost a lot of face. Maybe you not so important as we thought. Maybe you ‘Spy Frog,’ a ‘Double-Oh-Number’ with a license to kill. That funny; there’s over a billion of us Chinese; good luck.
“Maybe you use ‘Poison Dart Device.’ Who knows? Maybe you very sneaky frog; how we to know? We only judge others by what we know. Like your Dems, who wouldn’t know what a democracy was if it bit them on the foot.
“We arrive at meeting place. Look, Diplomat Chong waiting to great Most Honorable Frog.
“Greetings, Most Honorable Spy Frog. Car have listening device. We experts on deceiving; just ask Japanese. Let’s pretend you speak for Honorable President Trump. No? Then why you here? For friendly visit? Need expert translator, please. Chinese go to other country to either spy or run away. You no run away, no? Hold you for ransom; maybe Trump will reinstate kickbacks to every crooked politician in Washington; what you say?
“I thought we were talking tariffs. Why you here? Oh, yes, they are our problem, too. Never trust them. Very bad people but, you see, we know they very bad. You no know. We watch, whole world watch, as you make fools of yourselves. Funny, yes?
“For starters, Omar followed by every other. What, you blind? You know they want nothing more than to wipe you off the face of the earth. You and the Jews and the Chinese, not to mention everyone else. Dogs and pigs, too. Not kidding. We talking same table? Playing cards, just as Trump says. No hidden cards. No Jokers. You know not what you do.
“Old Confucius saying: ‘You keep rattlesnake in home, someday get bitten.’ You let them cross your borders, even fly them in. They see weakness and despise you even more, which is not possible, but do the impossible. Fly your planes into buildings and kill you; drive cars and trucks into peoples and kill you; stab you and it’ll never end. No matter how much you grovel on your knees and give them offerings they will still gleefully slit your throats.
“Using your own laws to do you in. You already lost but don’t know it. You know? I believe frog; understand frog can’t lie but maybe ‘beat around the bush,’ how you say.
“No, never speakee to Zork but know what he say. He say you get ‘The Sharia’ in less than 50 years. We think so, too. Even less. Make book. Make money. Really strange don’t care, you or them. Them easier to spot: burqas and beards, no? Evil intent hard to hide and they don’t even try to hide it, but you no see. Frog see. You say all frogs see? But what of it?
“Get real. You lost fight; just matter of time. They kill you and you OK, so stupid – pardon me – you waste time ‘looking for motive.’ Your police that stupid or being polite? End up suggesting ‘psychiatric help,’ so they go away and then you let them out for ‘compassionate reasons’ and they do it to you all over again. Again you ‘look for motive.’ How dense are you people?
“So sorry; not dense, but what’s it going to take you to wake up? Planes flying into buildings, and you elect Barry Soetoro (aka Barrack Mohammed Obama) as your leader and then you do it all over again. Confucius say: ‘Fool me first time, then fool me second time and allow Muslim Brotherhood in your country, what you expect except more Christmas parade run-downs?’
“Last say what needs to be said. We want to control, and they want to control. You want control who wants controlled. All very confusing. Maybe Most Honorable Frog grab ear of Trump to deport Omar and go from there because if you don’t do something to save yourself, there’ll be nothing left to save.
“Chinese people so glad you visit. So pleased if you visit more. We not big deal about you Panama Canal because you got bigger problems to worry about as you turn and toss. How you toss while sleeping we often wonder and discuss amongst ourselves. Maybe frog know and will tell us how done next visit.
“Chinese people wish happy trip home.”
“And that’s what transpired in Hong Kong as I wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Kung Fu Fighting” (3:10)
Henry