A Slap in the Face (RR)

by Henry, ©2025

(Sep. 8, 2025) — “Fortuneteller” (2:41)

Either English is our official language, or it is not. From where I’m sitting, there are questions.

“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Madam Shylock uses deductive reasoning to reach logical conclusions, to wit: millions of Muslims in our country and Mega Mosques portend the advancement of Sharia Courts; it’s just a matter of time. Muslims are out-birthing us to the point where our descendants will either be dead or Muslim. ‘Free Palestine’ really means wipe out the Christians and the Jews. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.” 

“And thank you for inviting me to be on your show in person. Talking over the phone is not quite the same, a little too sterilized compared to a one-on-one. I know what you’re going to ask.”

“You do?”

“Knock it off; I know you’re as sick as I am that our government allows antisemitism. Makes me as sick as it does you, trust me, maybe even sicker because I can see where this is going and the ending isn’t good.”

“I feel the same way.”

“You do? Then I say we better let Trump and his fellow ostriches know what we know.”

“Ostriches? Know what we know?”

“What are you, deaf or stupid? Maybe you’re a deaf-stupid frog; ever think of that? All I’m saying is they got to know there’s a lot of antisemitism going around and they can’t go on pretending they don’t know. Trump is one smart cookie, but even smart people can make mistakes, and he’s making one big, colossal mistake in letting Muslims in our country, is what I’m saying.”

“I’m with you there.”

“If he thinks by letting Muslims in our country he’ll get brownie points with Middle Eastern countries, boy, will he ever have a rude awakening. Muslims don’t care about ‘nice,’ and they don’t care about ‘fair,’ ‘justice’ and anything else Western Civilization has to offer, understand?”

“Understood.”

“Saying no ‘Jewish medicine’ is short-sighted and just plain stupid, just as stupid as the NAZIs. Your ten-year-old daughter can read and write and balks at marrying a man of 50? Honor-kill her, right?”

“Wrong.”

“Of course ‘wrong’; what do you think? So how come Omar and all the rest of them aren’t kicked out of here, huh? Maybe Trump thinks he’s doing good; well, I’m here to tell him to get somebody with brains and gumption and who loves this country, who cannot be bought off and order him to deport the Muslims, understand?”

“Understood.”

“Then why don’t you offer your services, Henry?”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You know what to do; you don’t need a paycheck, and you can’t be bribed; you’d be the perfect candidate to hold the Cabinet position of getting rid of the Muslims. Why don’t you call the White House?”

“Frogs always wait to be asked, so I’ll wait.”

“You served in the Navy; am I correct?”

“All frogs from birth are in the Navy, Madam Shylock.”

“Yes, of course. And you have an Honorable Discharge along with a Good Conduct Medal; isn’t that also correct?”

“It is.”

“Then you’re the man, or, I guess, to be absolutely accurate, you’re the frog. Here’s the point: as citizens of a country who believe that the Constitution is the law of the land, we can’t afford to let this antisemitism go unpunished, no matter who is doing it. Either deportation or into a penitentiary.”

“Couldn’t agree with you any more than I already do.”

“Thank you. I do not, nor will I accept any badmouthing of the Jews or Christians within the borders of these United States, no matter what idiot is speaking. Furthermore, I will consider anyone uttering such hate as a direct threat to my family’s safety and take any steps to insure said safety, understood?”

“Totally.”

“In that case I shall be on my way, and thank you for letting me say what needed to be said. As a reminder, this Jew- and Christian-bashing is not an issue of free speech; rather, it is a real threat to murder and, therefore, not protected as ‘free speech.’  By the way, putting Arabic words on the sides of police cars is a step too far and needs to be erased or sprayed over because, what it is, what it really is, is a slap in the face that deserves an immediate and forceful response. Always be armed and never disarmed and helpless.”

“Good advice, for sure. Well, now, I see we’ve run out of time, so this is Henry, along with Madam Shylock, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. You bring anything for me? Fresh flies on flypaper? Thank you; there’s sliders in the fridge. Let’s go out back and eat on the picnic table under the old willow tree, shall we?”

[First Muslim to be deported will be Omar, followed by Tlaib.]

“Night Train to Chi Town” (3:14)

Henry