by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Sep. 11, 2024) — “Everyday” (2:09)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our featured guest is Henry, the talking frog. As you can see, we’re on the front lawn of ‘Madam Shylock’s Fortunetelling Emporium’ located in beautiful Cassadaga, FL, about to be entertained by a line of lady frogs attired in chorus-girl outfits one would find at the Moulin Rouge Cabaret in Paris, France atop a picnic table.”
The loudspeakers from the front porch punch out the “Can Can” (1:09) as the chorus line goes through its routine. At the end of the music the dancers hop off, in single file and in unison, to the pond across the street. Henry hops onto the table, bows, and breaks into song.
“La donna è mobile” (2:02)
“That was quite impressive, Henry. Ever consider the opera circuit?”
“Thank you for the compliment, but no, it’s just a hobby of mine. Thank you for having me on your most popular information show in its time slot. How may I help you?”
“To start, what’s your take on the debate between President Trump [“Trump Won” (3:30)] and Miss Hyena?”
“The long and short of it is that the moderators, specifically David Muir, show why the Fake News isn’t to be trusted. It was the most egregious display of overt bias, the most blatant disregard for the truth, and the stupidest demonstration of ‘moderation’ in the history of debate. Heck, even my cat knows that the 2020 election was stolen [“Justice for All” (2:24)]. What, it’s okay to have more votes than registered voters? Give me a break.”
“Yes, that was also our take on the debacle.”
“Yes, that’s right. ABC sure as heck sunk themselves. No longer will anyone watch that station for information. Kaput. They had a golden opportunity to do the right thing, to be honest, but they couldn’t get over their ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ and that’s all there was to it.”
“Couldn’t agree with you more. They blew it. Good riddance. Madam Shylock reminds us not to ‘burn our bridges,’ to leave an opening because who knows, right? I see that we’re out of time and so this is your Roving Reporter, along with Henry, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Fresh bugs? Burger for me. Will you do us the favor to sing us out? Thank you.”
“Song Sung Blue” (3:13)