by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Feb. 25, 2024) — “Slightly Hung Over” (4:43)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I heard that the Democrats will outspend the Republicans 2 to 1 or more. So what? Make it 10 to 1; same difference, and our featured guest will tell us why. Welcome back, Chief New Leaf, to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. How have you been, Chief, and welcome back.”
“How.”
“How what?”
“I been.”
“Okay, I’ll bite: how have you been?”
“Me fine, how about you?”
“You mind if we take a quick commercial break while I clear my head?”
“Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying” (2:34)
“And we’re back with Chief New Leaf who will tell us why a good idea beats money on the table.”
“I will say this: there’s a pool with hungry sharks and you’re offered a million dollars to swim to the other side or walk around the pool to be offered a cool glass of water but no money.”
“I’ll take the water.”
“I wasn’t asking you. Now pay attention: there’s an open border with illegal immigrants pouring in so your chances of getting carjacked, mugged, raped, and/or murdered increases tenfold or vote for Trump [“Trump Won” (3:30)], who will close the border in the first minute he takes office and your chances of being harmed by an illegal immigrant goes down to zero, what you do?”
“I vote for Trump [“Try That in a Small Town” (3:00)]; I ain’t no fool.”
“What if the Dems spend $1 BILLION to Trump’s no money, ZERO DOLLARS?”
“I still vote for Trump [“Justice for All” (2:24)].”
“Why?”
“Because my wife and daughter will have a safer life. Heck, I’ll have a safer life under Trump [“81 Million Votes, My A**” (3:13)] vs. Biden or any other raving Dem.”
“So, it’s not about the money but it’s about the good ideas, the platform. Will your life improve under Trump or under Biden?”
“That’s a no-brainer.”
“So, money makes no difference, does it?”
“No, you’re right, it’s the platform that people vote on, not who spends the most.”
“Thank you.”
“And thank you. Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[Reminder that Henry still wants that Secretary of Defense job.]
[The Little People remain a factor.]