by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Nov. 7, 2023) — “Goodbye Cruel World” (2:20)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Last we saw of Henry he was about to be attacked by an audience of New England play enthusiasts; I believe they wanted to tar-and-feather him. What do you say we zero in to see what happens…
We see that they’ve got Henry cornered on a tree limb next to the playhouse. Catcalls of “Burn the tree!” are heard. Just then, no doubt by Divine Providence, a gust of wind knocks Henry off the limb. Oh, no! Poor Henry. But wait, Henry spreads his magic cape, soars overhead the Obots and glides, miles later, to safety, landing on a missile-launcher of a destroyer sailing on the Chesapeake Bay off on a Med Cruise. Now what?
“Captain, aft lookout reports of a frog wearing a cape atop the missile launcher.”
“Very well. Does Nav know how to get to the Med?”
“I believe he does, sir. He says, ‘If you steer where the sun rises, you can’t miss it.’”
“Very well. What do you say we aim this ship east, helmsman?”
“Aye-aye, sir, heading 0-9-0.”
“Sir, the frog?”
“Have him meet us in the wardroom; it’s about lunchtime anyway.”
We’re in the wardroom of a US NAVY destroyer heading to the Med. The captain sits at the head of the table, the XO on his right so the captain is better prepared to protect himself in case of a knife attack. The rest of the officers are seated and, at the other end, sits Henry, albeit on the tablecloth.
“Gentlemen, we seem to have picked up a stowaway.”
“No so, Captain. My name is Henry, and I was about to be burned or tar-and-feathered, I don’t know; I didn’t stick around to find out what conclusion the crazy Dems decided. I just made my escape and landed on your ship.”
“I see. Well, we’re glad to have you, of course. We usually have open house for the civilians while we’re in port and we really can’t expect you to swim for it, so I guess you’ll just have to tag along with us for the time being. By the way, we can always use some help. What can you do?”
“I’m an expert on reading water, sir. You know, waves and such. Maps, too.”
“Very well. Nav, could you use a helping hand in your shack?”
‘With pleasure, sir. Be glad to show Henry the ropes.”
And so, we leave Henry sailing off to – we’ll call it a conflict – the Mediterranean. Let’s wish Henry smooth sailing.
“Ever wonder why some of us are so far out of whack as to be unrecognizable as Americans? Our next guest has, and he wrote a book about it. Welcome aboard, Professor Zorkophsky, and congratulations on having another bestseller. By the way, what’s the title?”
“Thank you, Roving, high praise indeed. The title is ‘We Know Who the Traitors Are by the Direct Deposits from China.’”
“Wow, you got any smoking guns?”
“Don’t need any. Look, if anyone supports Biden, they are directly taking money from China or they’re too stupid for their own good; either way, they ought to be charged with aiding and abetting. It’s called justice, just in case you wondered.”
“Anybody in mind?”
“Morning Joe and his stupid wife, Mika, come to mind. You know what she said? She said Biden has a ‘long list of accomplishments,’ but she didn’t mention one accomplishment; she didn’t list one because there aren’t any. Inflation is not an accomplishment; rape trees and Fentanyl deaths are not accomplishments, okay?”
“We get the picture.”
“Anti-Jewish talk, acts, demonstrations are just the opening act, and if the opening act – think ‘off-Broadway’ – isn’t dealt with PROPERLY – all participants must be arrested for perpetuating a HATE CRIME or it’ll just get worse. What’s next? The next act will be to murder our American Jews, while the cops stand around and watch.”
“You don’t seem to have anything good to say about our men and women in blue.”
“On the contrary, I love them all. I do not, however, have any respect for the ones who ignore their Oath to the Constitution. Watching your city burn while standing around as a spectator following the orders from the mayor doesn’t cut it. And then our cops still haven’t figured how to go after a shooter in a building.”
“What would you do?”
“Send two in, just two who trained together going after the bad guys.”
“That’s it, just send in a trained team?”
“Yep.”
“Anything else on the list to talk about?”
“Well, my book where I name all the traitors on the list of the radical news organization that is taxpayer-funded, called ‘Newsguard.’”
“Never a retraction about ‘Russian Collusion?’”
“Never.”
“Never?”
“No, never, and never will be a retraction about anything that is MAGA, as in pro-Constitution.”
“No ‘Make America Great Again?’”
“Never-ever.”
“And we’re paying for it? We’re paying for our own destruction?”
“Were paying for an organization that wants the Constitution trashed, that’s what we’re paying for. Check out OAN for the truth on TV.”
“And will you just look at the time? And so, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Professor Zorkophsky, wishing all of you a goodnight.”
“Excuse me, Roving. Next time please address me as ‘Zork’ because I think it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. And allow me to reiterate, this Mika dumbo is the top runner for the ‘Clearly Stupidest Person on the Planet’ award.”
“Thank you. This kangaroo court in NYC against Trump [‘Justice for All’ (2:24)] is a joke played all over the world, and it’s a disgrace. The judge, Arthur Engoron, and the Attorney General, Letitia James, are a disgrace, two who have never honored their Oath to the Constitution and are just too stupid to realize how much harm they are causing our Republic.
“Engoron and James don’t get it and never will; just goes to show how devastating ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ really is. The truth can be staring them in the face; they just can’t see it. Engoron and James are blind to the truth, blind to that young soldier gunned down on the beach [‘D-day’ (@42 seconds 2:27)] in Normandy, France, on June 6, 1944, and are blind to me and my fellow Veterans for putting our lives on the line for the Constitution. And now we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”
“You Really Got Me” (2:14)
Roving Reporter