by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Aug. 8, 2023) — “Dixieland Delight” (3:55)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’re at the ‘Institute for Nuts’ with the head nurse in charge of admissions, Miss Kathleen Kaye. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. By the looks of your parking lot, this is one busy place.”
“Thank you for inviting me. You know, back in the day when you were broadcasting across the street from the railroad station, that was in my hometown. And, yes, ever since the day Trump and his wife rode the escalator to victory, we have been operating at capacity.”
“It’s a small world. What’s going on?”
“It seems that for the Dems, since they’ve been lied to for so many years, the truth is like radiation poisoning: the closer they get to it the more unhinged they become.”
“Let me ask you this: is the word ‘unhinged’ a medically accepted description of some of your patients?”
“Yes, of course it is. All Muslims, for instance, are unhinged; it’s just the nature of the beast. Muslim goes on stabbing spree, motive unknown. Muslim mows down joggers, declared ‘unhinged’: motive unknown.”
“We get the point. What are most of your patients in for?”
“Well, now, ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ is by far the most common, followed by refusing to see any evidence for anything they believe in.”
“Would you mind giving us a ‘for-instance?’”
“Be more than glad to. One is the United Nations, an entity that has been anti-USA from the start. Mention the ‘Oil for Food and Medicine’ program and all the theft, they turn a blind eye. Mention that you are an ‘election denier’ and they become violent, reminiscent of what transpires when someone changes into a werewolf.”
“No way.”
“You’d be surprised. See those bars over the windows on the upper floors? That’s where the real nuts go.”
“Can you help everyone who suffers from the syndrome?”
“Unfortunately, no. There are many we don’t take; what’s the point? Many Hollywood types are beyond redemption. We call such people the ‘incurables’ so we don’t even bother, which makes us very sad.”
“Why is that?”
“We’ve had husbands and wives begging us to help their spouse and it pains us to reject anyone, some whom we used to enjoy watching in movies.”
“Can you tell by viewing someone on the idiot box (TV) that someone is so far gone that they’ll never be welcomed back into the human race?”
“Jim Carey, Whoopi Goldberg, Mika and Joe Scarborough come to mind.”
“Any others?”
“My gosh, they’re all over. Christiane Amanpour from CNN and PBS, Anderson Cooper, and the list goes on: the Fake News is full of it.”
“Yes, of course. So, they get it all wrong. Why is that?”
“They lost the ability to think for themselves.”
“You mean they have to be told what to think? The ultimate conclusion in “1984” seems to be alive and well. Okay, we thank you for sharing with us. and so this is your Roving Reporter, along with Kathleen, wishing all of you a goodnight. As an afterthought, we reported on the George Floyd joke ever since he was taken out; we concluded that Floyd was a lowlife thug and that if he didn’t lose his life that afternoon, the way he was living his life he didn’t have long anyway. And that is true. A lowlife thug, a mean-spirited person who was a bully because of his size. A thug with a low intellect who thrived on theft by intimidation. We here at ‘Pulse’ celebrate the truth and the truth is good riddance to scum, and that includes BLM and ANTIFA and any ‘reparations’ nonsense. Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
Isn’t Mika the daughter of communist Zbigniew Brzenski (sp?)? If I recall, Zbigniew purportedly was one of Obama’s principal mentors. How’s that for Morning Joe/Joke?
““They lost the ability to think for themselves.” I think they “think” the way they need to in order to get paid a lot of money. Get it now, while it is still worth something……