by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Jul. 11, 2023) — “Broken Hearted Melody” (2:23)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Our guest today is Bishop Dunkin to read us his latest sermon. Take it away, Bishop.”
“Thank you, Roving. Here goes:
“You over there, Hark!”
“Hark, goodly sire, in return.”
“What brings you out on such a fine day, blue skies and calm air?”
“I doubt it, for I see dark billowy clouds and feel a wind chill to beat the bush.”
“Don’t you see the blue skies above the clouds? The calm air behind this tempest?”
“No, come to think of it, I do not. Surely you are mistaken, sire.”
“Then I shall retract my previous ‘Hark!’ There, it is retracted.”
“Not so fast, smart aleck, for a ‘Hark!’ once used cannot be reeled in. Too bad, for it is already in my ‘Hark!’ memory bank under ‘Nuts.’”
“For the last time, give me my ‘Hark!’ back, for I may have some future need of it.”
“Wrong answer, for you do not know of what you speak. You may never come across an occasion to salute someone with a ‘Hark!’, so there.”
“This I refuse to accept.”
“Refuse away; doesn’t change anything. You sound like you saw the hidden ballot boxes under the tables but choose to be blind to the truth.”
“My truth is my own.”
“Yet your so-called ‘truth’ is but a lie. Why, you can’t even tell the weather.”
“Pox to you, you who hoards ‘Harks!’”
“Get off it: 81 million votes (3:13)? Get real.”
“I don’t particularly care for your tone.”
“Too bad because I’m keeping it. Look at California since Mike Pence stabbed his fellow Americans in the back, the Judas. We have open borders, Ukraine, human trafficking, Fentanyl, and the list goes on and on, every day more and more corruption piled on while our country implodes from, sorry to be blunt, pure stupidity.”
“Did I just hear you say that I am ‘stupid?’”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Anyone who refuses to accept the facts as fact is nuts, that’s why, and if you’re that stupid, well, there’s probably no hope for you. No doubt you suffer from ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome,’ a seemingly incurable mental disorder.”
“So now I’m stupid and nuts?”
“This conversation is over. Shame on you: One who lies to himself makes for a worthless good-for-nothing. Good day to you; may we never cross paths again.”
“Just because I fail to make the connection between Biden, the Deep State, and the Fake News with child trafficking and drugs and the destruction of the country you don’t have to get sore at me.”
“Don’t forget to mention queers in the military. You know why we don’t want queers? Because in a firefight you must be able to trust the person watching you back with your life, that’s why, and that’s the bottom line. Nothing personal, just a biological fact of life. If your fellow queer gets shot you can’t take the time to mourn, get it? Mourn and hesitate for less than a heartbeat may get me killed and I’m not chancing it, and neither should anyone else.”
“But we must have proper flower arrangements.”
“Nope, afraid not. Give them some kind of ‘General Discharge’ and kick them out.”
FINI
“And that’s it. I must tell you that this was submitted by Henry a couple of days ago. By the way, I agree with him, and I think he would make a wonderful Secretary of Defense, don’t you?”
“Undoubtedly, and with that, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Bishop Dunkin, wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. So, you can’t separate being a Dem and endorsing human trafficking, can you? Gee whiz, the writing is on the wall so very plain to see; why won’t they read the words and see the light? Burger time: my treat.”
“Loveless Life” (2:51)
Roving Reporter