by Roving Reporter, ©2023
(Feb. 25, 2023) — “Try to Remember” (3:34)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. As you can see, Professor Zorkophsky is back with us to hawk his new movie that will be released sometime, well, when?”
“March of 2024.”
“Thank you. Welcome to the show, Professor.”
“And glad to be here to drum up enthusiasm to pay top-dollar to see my movie. And on behalf of your audience, I want to thank you for the segue in having me on today, right after Wert’s cave-painting show. Nicely done.”
“Would you please inform some of our viewers who may have missed the previous show?”
“Be more than glad to, anything to hype the interest. Professor Wert showed some truly amazing cave art that we all wondered at. My thesis is that each of us have some DNA that is what I call ‘early memory,’ a memory that goes back millions of years. The more our DNA is mixed with the DNA not of our direct ancestors, our early-memory DNA is watered down so much that our early-memory DNA goes blank.”
“Now that is interesting.”
“The Aboriginal Australians understood it; they even had a name for it: ‘Dreamtime.’ The native people didn’t want anything to do with the invaders for fear of reducing their memory- DNA turn to nothing, although they wouldn’t have expressed it quite that way.”
“I’m sure they wouldn’t have.”
“But that doesn’t mean they weren’t right on the money, in a way. The cave paintings reinforce my theory that we’ve been to the moon a million or so years ago; maybe less, maybe more. That explains the paintings and carvings of spaceships and electrical devices* in Egypt and everywhere else around the world where ancient carvings and paintings are to be found. And the earliest archeological sites, carvings and paintings have yet to be discovered.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Isn’t it, though? Look at it this way: since the beginning of the earth, gravity hasn’t changed; the sun goes up and the sun goes down; the moon is what it is, same as Mars. What I’m saying is that a wing of a bird and a wing of a plane haven’t changed in millions of years, okay?”
“So, I guess what you’re saying is that the basics haven’t changed.”
“Yes, the basics, the wings of birds and gravity and atom bombs. It would be very narrow of us to believe that we are the ones who did it all first when the evidence that we’ve uncovered indicates otherwise.”
“So ancient spacecraft didn’t visit us?”
“No, I’m afraid not. It is we who did it all and, sorry to say, somehow blew it.”
“You say ‘somehow.’ What do you mean by that?”
“Perhaps we almost extincted ourselves, or maybe it was a virus or some rock from above; we may never know. And then maybe we didn’t reach the moon or Mars long ago, although that’s what my movie is all about. Bottom line is we have the means to kill just about everything, so there’s an imagination curve on what may have happened.”
“Space Odyssey déjà vu?”
“Precisely.”
“So, what’s your take on what’s happening today?”
“You mean today as in right now? Well, face it, with Trump there would be no open borders, inflation, Ukraine, North Korea, or Taiwan. I think that about covers it. As for the 2022 election, we need to replace Katie Hobbs with Kari Lake; the 2024 election will be a waste of time unless we start throwing those who cheated on any past election in prison. Not some county jail for three years, but a real prison for ten.”
“I like that idea; it’s probably the only way to fight the Deep State.”
“Throw all the bums in jail.”
“You like Trump, but what about Henry?”
“Truth be told, Henry would like nothing more than to be Trump’s Secretary of Defense.”
“Yes, that makes sense. And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. And so, on behalf of Professor Zorkophsky, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight.”
“In the future, please address me as ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. And one more thing: For the sake of argument, let’s say real aliens from the galaxy Andromeda land somewhere on earth, anywhere, and asks to see the leader of us all. And here’s the catch: you can only say one name and that name will be the spokesperson for all of us, for every human on the planet. No second guesses; no second chances; no time out and do it again. One name only. You can only say one name, your own name if you want, if you think you would be the best spokesperson for all of us. So, one name. Today, right now, one name and one name only. Think about it. The person you name will be the only one of us who will communicate with the aliens from the galaxy Andromeda. One name. Who will you nominate? Thank you for letting me hawk my new movie.”
“Oh, yes, of course. And now we’ll say goodnight: Goodnight.
‘Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Devices: Or not. It’s a science fiction movie, after all.]
[Note: You and you alone are responsible for your safety, so arm yourself and your family. Always carry, at the minimum a .38. A shotgun for home defense is a good choice; plenty of water and food; first aid supplies and ammo.]
“Take Me Home, Country Roads” (3:15)