by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Dec. 20, 2022) — “96 Tears” (2:55)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I’d like to start off by saying that sometimes we make mistakes and when we do we apologize. Now, as far as our letter-answering goes, we forward the questions to Madam Shylock’s Fortune-Telling Emporium,’where the answers are ‘telepathically’ answered, but here’s one I’ll answer forthwith:

     Dear Mister Roving,

     Are you for real?


     Little Brian from Downers Grove

“Well, Brian, all I can say is that we’re as real as the Easter Bunny.

“Moving along, because we have received overwhelming support for Rook Dunkin, we have him back by popular demand and so, without further ado, I present The Rook.”

“Thank you, Mr. Roving, for the thoughtful and informative introduction. I always enjoy being a guest on ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. I’d like to say one thing before I go into the sermon of the day, and that is if Kari Lake and the people of Arizona receive justice, then I would like to see Hobbs serve some real honest-to-goodness jail time. Now to the heart of the matter: Trust.

“A marriage is built on trust; without it there can be no marriage. Once trust is violated, sometimes amends can be made and then sometimes not. We have a parishioner who loved his wife deeply, but the little woman liked other men, so Mr. Plum gave his wife the divorce she wanted. Mr. Plum sacrificed a lifetime of love just so he could make his (ex)-wife happy.

“We have politicians who use words like a soldier uses bullets, but some politicians use deceptive words. Take the word ANTIFA, for example. They proclaim that they are anti-fascist when, in fact, that’s exactly what they are. Another example is BLM: the organization is a CCP front; Southern Poverty Law Center is anti-Constitution: NOW is human trafficking, rape-trees, ‘honor killings.’

“We have people who lie to our faces, and we let them walk. Take Chuck Schumer, for instance, just one of the many examples to be found in the Beltway, slithering through the halls of Congress. If youe were to make a list of the people who you would NOT want in your lifeboat, Chuck Schumer would have to be in your top ten.

“If, and it’s a very big ‘if,’ the Jan. 6 Committee were halfway honest, they’d throw themselves in jail for violating the Constitution. Exchange the real insurrectionists with the bogus ones already locked-up and help restore the Constitution as the one law of the land and not a slew of separate laws for Pelosi and Hillary.

“But that won’t happen, will it? Dishonest people don’t become honest overnight; cheaters don’t suddenly come clean; and the Dems and RINOs of the Jan. 6 Committee couldn’t tell the truth — under any conceivable circumstances imaginable — about the 2020 stolen election, and you can take that to the bank.

“What we are witnessing is the fall of a Republic step by measurable step. Step ONE: Dumb down America; eliminate the Draft. Step TWO: Dumb down America even more; introduce a two-tiered justice system, one where the ‘Little Guy’ goes to jail and the other members of the government walk.

“We are but electrical charges scrambling around from point ‘A’ to point ‘B,’ and when we reach ‘Z’ we’re dead. Some jump steps and some get the short end of the stick. Once upon a time in a faraway place I was talking to this dude about a ’60 Chevrolet convertible (maybe it wasn’t a ’60) and he upped and get himself shot in the head and went directly to ‘Step Z.’ ‘That’s Life‘ (3:20), just like the song.

“So, we’re all zapping around, some with direction and some with no direction. Some of us have a Guardian Angel; I know I do. I was working construction doing tie-beams high up off the ground and I almost fell over backwards when I felt a hand on my back pushing me back straight. Saved my life. I looked around knowing for a fact that they sneaked up on me, lowered the crane and I’d see somebody behind me, but wasn’t I surprised when I looked and saw nothing but air. No crane; no guy and nothing below except ‘Step Z.’

“Our government has let us down. The government is made up of little short-circuited individuals that a Guardian Angel wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole, and they expect us to take it without a whimper, like we’re supposed to turn our backs on all who gave their lives for our home. Not going to happen, especially since I almost gave my life for the same cause, for real.

“We all make mistakes, but the biggest mistake we’re making is to let the Jan. 6 Committee get away with what they’re doing: desecrating our country, our Constitution, and the memory of our men and women who gave their lives so we can trust our government. Amen.”

“As I’m sure we all agree. Great speech, Rook, and so, on behalf of the Rook here, this is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

He’ll Have to Stay” (2:47)

Roving Reporter

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