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by Roving Reporter, ©2022

(Jul. 15, 2022) — “My Little Welsh Home” (2:35)

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is Jackie Meach, the newly-elected president of our nation’s largest teachers’ union. Welcome to the show, Miss Meach.”

“Thank you for having me.”

“I read in your bio that you are a Democratic operative. You mind telling us what a Democratic operative does?”

“Not at all. A Democratic operative facilitates the advancement of Democratic ideals. We push for total control of people’s lives because we know what’s good for them better than they know themselves.”

“You mean like high taxes and empty shelves?”

“I think it would be better if we would focus on the positives.”

“But isn’t it true that you want to raise taxes?”

“I would rather say that we aim to erase any of Trump’s tax cuts. Anything ‘Orange Man’ did was bad, remember that.”

“Even to the point of making the United States ‘energy-dependent?‘”

“And that’s what I’m talking about, our lording it over everybody.”

“On the contrary: our dominance helped Third World countries by offering cheap oil in which to improve their economies.”

“Orange Man bad.”

“I see. Let’s change the subject from money to guns, would you like that?”

“Guns kill people; therefore, guns are bad. Do I have to spell it out for you? Any third-grader can see that much.”

“But doesn’t someone have to load the gun, aim it and then pull the trigger?”

“Thank you, Mr. Roving, you just made my point.”

“I think we’ll take a short break if you don’t mind. Be right back.”

Stairway to Heaven” (4:38)

“And we’re back. Now, what was your point again?

“Why, guns kill people.”

“I see. So, you want to take away guns from everyone?”

“Well, not everyone.”

“From the cops?”

“Not from our brave men and women in law enforcement.”

“From the military?”

“Not from the military.”

“From the drug cartels?”

“Most definitely.”

“Okay, how do you expect them to turn over their weapons to the cops?”

“To start, pass a law that says lawbreakers aren’t allowed to have guns and designate more places as a ‘GUN-FREE ZONE.’”

“How has that worked in Chicago, New York or anywhere else in the world?”

“Guns are for hunting.”

“Is that a fact? I have guns and I don’t hunt. I have guns for one reason and one reason only: to protect myself, my family, and my community from the bad guys, and that includes a tyrannical government, like the one we have now, in case you haven’t noticed.”

“That sounds like treason to me, Mr. Roving.”

“The treason occurred in the early morning hours of November 4, 2020, in case you haven’t noticed, Miss Mead.”

2000 Mules has been debunked.”

“Oh, really, now? By CNN?”

“That’s only one, but there are a lot of others.”

“Have you seen the movie?”

“Why waste my time? I already told you: it’s been debunked.”

“So you have. Let’s talk about guns, shall we? And don’t say guns kill people.”

“But they do.”

“People kill people; a gun is but a tool. After all, someone has to load the gun, aim the gun, and pull the trigger. A gun doesn’t go off by itself, unless, of course, you happen to be on the jury who let a murderer walk; you remember that illegal ‘migrant’ bum who murdered Kathryn Steinle in San Francisco?”

“The gun killed her.”

“The person who aimed the gun and pulled the trigger murdered her.”

“It was the gun.”

“It was the person who pulled the trigger. Always has been and always will be. That’s why they call the shooter ‘The Trigger Man’; got it? They sure as heck don’t call him ‘The Gun Man.’

“Guns are the problem.”

“The problem is people, people who murder and people who should shoot the murderers but don’t. Let me ask you a question: Let’s suppose, for no matter how many reasons, you want a bodyguard, okay? So you advertise. First question: Veteran or a non-Veteran? Answer, please: Veteran or non-Veteran.”

“Veteran, I suppose.”

“Are you sure? Do you want somebody who at least proved something over someone who never proved anything?”

“I said I want the Veteran, okay?”

“Fine. You are the mother of two children, 9 and 11. You are aware of school shootings and are concerned for the welfare of your kids, right? Answer me, please. Do you care for the safety of your kids?”

“Of course I do.”

“Second question: Every thing being equal: size, education, qualifications, would you want the teachers in your kids’ school to be unarmed non-Veterans or armed Veterans? Wait, here’s the third question: would you want the police in your town to be Veterans or non-Veterans? Now before you answer, watch this video of what just took place in Texas. I’m sorry, but I don’t care how you answer because, to me, you’re a lost cause if you’re that stupid to even have to think about it. And that’ll do it for this episode of ‘Pulse.’ This is your Roving Reporter wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: They have a list of people to visit. The clue is that anyone who ever supported the asinine idea of Socialism may expect a visit of goodwill from the paratroopers. The paratroopers have a reputation of serving blueberry muffins.]

[Note to the Russians: Do us a favor, keep Brittney Griner as long as you want, please. We don’t want kneelers. And speaking of kneelers, the last time I watched an NFL game was the day Kaepernick knelt, but I do watch the USFL, which has excellent commentary and camera coverage, by the way.]

[First Reminder: Masks don’t work, and if you see anyone wearing one, tell them.]

[Second Reminder: Do not, under any circumstances, allow anyone to take the ‘Clot Shot.’]

[Third Reminder: If there are any women in your life, make sure they are armed. If you are a teacher, be armed. If you are anybody, be armed. Mowing the lawn? Be armed. Washing the car? Be armed. Home invasions are going through the roof, so lock your doors and have a shotgun handy. No kidding. Remember, better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it.]

[The Truth is that a coup d’état took place, and it is our Constitutional responsibility to take it back. Shots were fired and people were killed during the Jan. 6 Kobuki Theater that Liz Cheney proclaims as fact when, in fact, it was nothing more than a sleight-of-hand FBI operation that has been exposed to be fake.]

[Once upon a time in America, we used to execute murderers, rapists, and child molesters.]

[Condolences to the Trump family for the passing of Ivana. May Jesus watch over her for eternity.]

I’ll Leave this World Loving You” (2:09)

Roving Reporter

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