by Roving Reporter, ©2021 

Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA23), public domain

(Dec. 6, 2021) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. With us today is Sarah West, one of our investigative reporters who works behind the camera to bring you the stories and guests that we all enjoy so much. So, Sarah, what have you got for us today?”

“Oh, I’m so excited! Can I say ‘Hi, Mom’?”

“No, I’m afraid station policy dictates that no ‘Hi, Moms’ go over the air. Heck, that’s like calling a radio talk show and asking the host how he’s doin’. Waste of airtime, like thanking the host for being on the show. People don’t want to hear it so don’t say it. Sorry, thems the rules.”

“What if I sneak in a ‘Hi, Mom‘?”

“Nope.”

“Sign language?”

“Nope.”

“What if I …”

“Forget it; not going to happen because we’ll just edit you out and you’ll be blacklisted.”

“You mean like they did back in the 1950s with the Communist hunt?”

“Yes, just like then. Look, just tell us your scoop, okay?”

“Very well, if you insist, but I think it’s pretty lousy that I can’t say ‘Hi, Mom’ to my own mother.”

“How about me lending you my cell phone and you can call her after the show?’

“Not the same.”

“Enough of saying ‘Hi, Mom,’ okay? Get over it. Tell us your scoop and then leave without sneaking in a ‘Hi, Mom’; can you do that?”

“I’ll try.”

“You better do more than ‘try.’ ‘Try’ sounds like maybe you won’t, that a ‘Hi, Mom’ will somehow miraculously slip in – won’t be your fault; it’ll just ‘happen.’

“Well, what if it does? Will that be the end of the world?”

“Who in the heck knows? Spill your report, if you don’t mind.”

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

“I wanted to say hello to my mother, that’s all. Very well, here’s my report. There’s a club in Washington, DC that only accepts backstabbers and traitors. Mike Pence is the head, the mascot, and it just accepted two new members, Mitch McConnell and Kevin McCarthy. Just thought you’d like to know, keep you up-to-date.”

“And we thank you for it. And now we’ll be saying goodnight to our audience. Don’t do it. Goodnight.

“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[Little People report: on standby.]

Roving Reporter

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  1. Excuse me Roving, but you got me so flustered I forgot to report that Professor Zorkophsky just completed a 4-month study on the relationship between

    Trump Derangement Syndrome and The Jab.

    The conclusion is that those infected with the Trump Derangement Syndrome are likely to become infected with The Jab.

    It seems the difference between people is that one group is aware (i.e., paying attention) while the other group is as dumb as the viewers of The View, CNN, MSNBC, and all the other avenues of Fake News, including the Joint Chiefs of Staff, DOJ, FBI and all enemies of the Constitution, including everyone who had a hand in the election fraud with Biden-Harris and Hilary leading the charge.

    As Zork says, ‘Trash the Masks’,

    Sarah West