“THE SALES GIMMICK”
by OPOVV, ©2019
(Oct. 10, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the most popular show in its time slot, “The Pulse of the Nation.’ As you regular viewers can see, we’re back in Professor Zorkophsky‘s office here at the university where he used to teach and nowadays writes his bestsellers. Hello, my name is Roving, and standing with me is the good and immensely successful professor himself. About a year or so ago, Professor, you had us aboard your yacht and I was curious how that tunnel was constructed between this building and the lake; care to explain?”
“Not at all, Roving, and please address me as ‘Zork’ as long as we’re in my comfortable office. The answer is really simple and straightforward. As this campus was being built – and this building – during the days of prohibition, a bootlegger had the underground canal dug in order to smuggle booze from Canada. When I had the basement redone for the Kart track, we discovered the tunnel.”
“That makes sense. So you wrote another textbook: Trump Dissociation and What it Means. I’m sorry, but we only got the notice this morning so I haven’t had a chance to read it. Would you mind telling us why we should buy it?”
“Don’t mind at all, and no wonder you didn’t read it since it’s not due to be on the shelves until the holidays.”
“When’s that?”
“The day after Thanksgiving. Okay, there’s been a lot of talk about this Trump Derangement Syndrome and I’ve cashed in on it along with the rest. I’ve written a number of bestsellers about it, too. But this book looks at the subject in a wider view, so instead of talking national politics I’ve upped the ante and brought it on the world scale.”
“Would you mind very much saying that again, but this time in English?”
“Sure. Look, as soon as Trump took office he was considered a lightweight, especially since he named Jeff Sessions as his AG, a swamp rat if there ever was one. Any other AG would’ve debunked the Russian Collusion within a month, and Hillary would have already served her first year behind bars. Trump opened the doors for every nut to emerge to take him down, so I list a few of the better-known ones.”
“Excuse me, but before you do let’s break for a commercial.”
“And When I Die” (4:06)
“Okay, Zork, let’s hear that list.”
“Right on; first on the list are the ones who have received direct payments from China, either in the form of campaign contributions for the politicians or exotic cars or cabin-in-the-woods for favored bureaucrats.”
“That’s not surprising; who’s next?”
“Second is the spare-parts scam. This is how it works: the Pentagon sells our allies whatever our military replaces and they require spare parts because the stuff is outdated, so part of the sales gimmick is that, sure, we’ll sell you some planes and ships but you have to promise to purchase ‘X’ amount of dollars for parts for the next decade or so. Trouble is, the money is paid but the parts are not sent; few parts are sent; or all of the parts are sent with up to a 300% mark-up to be distributed to the politicians who brokered the deal, the bureaucrats who are in on it, and the Pentagon who set up the distribution system.”
“Wow, now that’s something I never thought about. What’s next?”
“Well, now, I wouldn’t want to give all of it away, so I’ll just say that the Chamber of Commerce wants cheap labor, so they are against the wall.”
“So where do the red herrings come into the picture?’
“While all the people’s attention has been on the Russian Collusion hoax during the last couple of years, CAIR has continually made giant leaps and bounds on subverting our Constitution by pretending to assimilate into the American way of life, but the truth of the matter is that these 22+ Islamovilles and mosques throughout America are fronts for the killing fields of Muslim females of all ages. The way it works is if anybody asks where Miss so-and-so is, the standard answer is that she was sent back to the ‘home’ country, usually for a prearranged marriage. You know the routine: 12-year old female child marries man 56 years old.”
“So all this Trump-bashing is just a red herring, a decoy to take our attention away from what’s really going down?”
“Yes, that’s the premise of the book. Buy it and you won’t regret it; I’m sure of it. Make a great stocking-stuffer, even though it is a psychology textbook.”
“Okay, we’ll buy it. Now, before we go, show us your latest addition to you office, if you would be so kind?”
“Glad to, Roving. See this bank of 60” TV screens? Each one is dedicated to a particular telescope located around the world. This one here – bottom right – is real-time from a webcam telescope from Chile; the one above it is from New Zealand.”
“So what, you’re waiting for a supernova?”
“Or whatever pops up.”
“Very exciting, Zork. And with that, we’ll be wishing you all a goodnight and so, on behalf of the crew; Goodnight.
“Good show, Zork. Burger time; my treat.”
“Extreme Ways” (4:01)