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by OPOVV, ©2019

City of Minneapolis and within state of Minnesota.  By Arkyan – My own work, based on public domain information. Based on similar map concepts by Ixnayonthetimmay, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=2933501

(Oct. 11, 2019) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ one of the few places where the truth is reported without reservation. Hello, I’m Mr. Roving and will be your host reporting from one of the suburbs of our city, but then again, maybe not, since I have just been handed this note saying we’re to break to our reporter in Minneapolis. Hello, this is Roving. I’m sorry, but we don’t have a video feed.”

“That’s okay, Roving, I’ll color it in for you. Hello, everybody; long time, no see; I’m your world-famous intrepid explorer, Professor Wert, the author of ‘Places not to Eat or Stay when Traveling Abroad.’”

Sounds of crowd noise and horses neighing.

“What’s that noise? Sounds like crowd noise and neighing horses. I didn’t know they had horses in Minnesota.”

“I didn’t know that, either; these horses are police horses.”

“What’s a ‘police horse?’ What do they do?”

“These horses have real policemen riding them and they’re getting hit by rocks and bottles. I see that the police have protective eye and head wear but not the horses; now what does that tell you about how some tax dollars are spent? It’s like buying police cars but let’s not spend one penny on windshield wiper blades.”

“I guess they don’t care much about anything, Wert.”

“You got it. Like I learned that the police could’ve dispersed the anti-Trump crowd that was outside the auditorium hours before, but they didn’t, did they?”

“Apparently not; reminds one of Portland, doesn’t it?”

“And therein lies the danger. The possibilities of getting permanently maimed by a flying stone or bottle start with Goliath’s death, and it doesn’t get much better. I mean, it’s a means of playing Russian Roulette, isn’t it? And you want ‘stupid,’ try this: the mayor of Minneapolis instructed the police NOT to don riot gear because he didn’t want to intimidate the protesters; can you believe that?”

“So what’s next?”

“Well, Roving, what happened in the streets after Trump’s great speech was a test case to see how much the protesters could get away with. The cops stood by while theft and wanton destruction of private property happened right before their eyes and there wasn’t one arrest.”

“Yes, I heard that ‘MAGA hats’ were stolen and burned and the cops just stood there following the mayor’s orders to allow disorder to reign.”

“That’s right, Roving. You can’t yell ‘fire’ in a crowded theater but you can BE the fire. It’s one step beyond embarrassing because, you see, the whole world was watching while the cops stood by allowing chaos and unlawfulness to take hold, reminiscent of Portland. And it will continue and get more violent. Right now we have destruction and maiming and it can only escalate to murder. ANTIFA has become what they themselves protest against. They are the Fascists; they are against free speech; they are the enemy.”

“A mindless mob.”

“You got it. And a mob has no conscience, only direction, and the direction is trashing the Constitution and everything it stands for. They’ll take your guns, then your belongings and then your life, as in 1-2-3, right from the Socialists’ playbook.”

“It was nice to see some of the Minneapolis police at the rally.”

“They better watch their backs is all I’ve got to say.”

“That bad?”

“Let me put it this way: if I was a policeman anywhere in Minnesota and had a brain that works, I would be looking for another job that wasn’t so dangerous. Look, being a cop in America today is dangerous enough without having to worry about the people you’re working with setting you up.”

“So where did this all start?”

“It all started with Obama and his AG, Eric Holder. It all started with letting the occupiers getting away with breaking the law. It all started with Eric Holder not prosecuting the Black Panthers for voter intimidation, even though the whole thing was on film. It all started with not enforcing our immigration laws by not throwing anyone who hired an illegal in jail. It all started with abolishing the Draft. It all started by having Communist-bent teachers. And it all started by the TV replacing the pulpit.”

“Thank you, Professor Wert, for the great on-the-scene reporting from the embarrassment that is today’s Minnesota. And so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Another great show, thanks to Wert. Burger time: my treat.”

In Hell I’ll be in Good Company” (4:09)


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  1. Hey Lloyd,
    Unfortunately, Professor Wert was not available for comment since he left the country to investigate possible Biden/Hillary/Obama shakedowns in Romania.
    Miss Molly, our secretary, is believed to have heard Wert also report that he didn’t see one horse with NHL padding, although since its supposed to snow this weekend in Minnesota, some of the horses were shod with snowshoes, but that report could not be substantiated.
    Sorry; we here at Pulse aim to please and we’re equally as shocked as you if an inaccuracy was reported.

  2. Wait a second. It was the first time I had seen horses with what looked like goggles on in a TV shot. Did my lying eyes mislead me? This article says so. First time I’ve seen an inaccuracy on P&E.