by OPOVV, ©2018

Image: De Neuville – “The Huns at the Battle of Chalons,” Wikimedia Commons, public domain

(Oct. 31, 2018) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place where we keep tabs on the health and well-being of America. Unfortunately, tonight’s show may leave the weak-hearted — read, ‘weak-minded – a little put out (in that they won’t be able to understand what our guest is saying) so you people who are filled with hate and vengeance, don’t waste your time watching (and to those of you who don’t get us on TV: reading) tonight’s program. So adios to the viewers of CNN and Morning Joe, The View and the slew of others who dwell in the gutter of the mind, wishing disrespect and harm to us real freedom-fighters. We don’t like those worthless purveyors of Socialism, Communism, Totalitarianism, and Islam. For those who have been with us for a while, surely you’ve noticed that we’re in Professor Zorkophsky’s office here at the university.  Welcome to the show, Professor.”

“Please, Roving, call me ‘Zork’; there’s no need to be so formal here in my comfortable office. See, behind you, to the right of the door, I have a coffee machine and a mini-refrigerator, compliments of Chief New Leaf when he upgraded his lavish RV.”

“What do all these wires and batteries on the floor mean? And those wires going out under the window?”

“Oh, that. There’s solar panels on the roof that charge the batteries which power the coffeemaker and the ice box.”

“Oh, that’s nice. Look, we’ve got to take a short commercial break.”

Delta Blues Slide Guitar” (2:37)

“Okay, what do you say we get down to brass tacks, take our gloves off and lay the truth right out in the open: how come Western Civilization seems to be on the wane? Are we losing the battle? Is the enemy at the gates?”

“At the gates? What are you, nuts? They’re over the ramparts and through the gates. They’re in our Congress and FBI. They’re everywhere and we don’t have the — wait — since this is a family show let me just say that we don’t have the nerve to stand up and fight for the future generations of freedom. We don’t have what the greatest generation had to win World War II.”

“But what about Trump? Can’t he be the torch-bearer?”

“He is and he can, but he needs all the help that we can give him. He’s pulling the trigger but he needs somebody to pass the ammo to him because he can’t do it alone.  These idiots like Paul Ryan and Chuck Schumer, Pocahontas and Pelosi sure as heck aren’t helping any. Those people are nothing but destroyers: those who push negativism that keeps the easily-swayed – those without backbone or conviction – in chains, forever trapped on the plantation, accepting handouts as if it’s their right to live a life of meaningless sloth.

“Now, listen: we’ve raised a whole generation believing in the Nanny State, going through life with absolutely no conception of the work ethic. They don’t have any idea of the basic mental discipline to show up for work every day on time; they’re mentally-deficient.”

“Could you please define the ‘mentally-deficient’ for our viewers?”

“Be glad to. In the macro sense, you could say that the followers of Islam are mentally-deficient in that they exclude half their population from making any contribution to the arts, medicine and science. Life is complicated enough without deliberately making it harder, and preventing women from achieving their potential is nothing but cultural suicide.

“Now in the personal sense, ‘mentally-deficient’ would mean that the person is incapable of pigeon-hole facts accurately. Take, as an example, the hostesses on The View, who’ll blame Trump for any and all transgressions since the Brontosaurus lived n Wyoming.

“Our country is playing multiple hands of Russian roulette simultaneously. First, we have the new NAFTA trade deal where we still can’t execute illegal immigrant child molesters, rapists and murderers. Second, we’re importing millions of Muslims whose ulterior motive is to replace our Constitution with their Sharia Law. The third hand we’re playing is this: in these caravans of thousands of illegal immigrants, there’s bound to be some who will murder one or more of us. Who will be killed by one of those marching up to the border we don’t know, but this we do know: some of us will die needlessly. And another hand of us playing Russian roulette is of putting us ALL at risk from these strange and exotic diseases that’s coming in that were all but eradicated from our country decades ago.”

“I’m sorry, but we’re not supposed to talk about the caravans: they’re too far away. Let’s break for a commercial.”

California Girls” (2:44)

“Okay; we’re back; please continue.”

“The anti-war movement of the 1960s is looked back on or reported as a blissful time when the Woodstock Generation protested and made our troops come home from Vietnam. The reality was that the administration had a hands-off approach to China and winning the war. The North Vietnamese manipulated the anti-war protesters; the NVA subsequently invaded and then took control of South Vietnam. Any talk about the ensuing bloodbath and re-education camps was kept quiet, thanks to our mainstream media.”

“When the U.S. turned tail and ran out of South Vietnam, we left a vacuum that made it possible for the Khmer Rouge to conduct their bloodbath until our enemy, the NVA, invaded Cambodia and rescued the Cambodians. Indeed, truth is stranger than fiction.”

“So what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that these anti-Trumpsters are living in a world of their own making; a fantasy land in their own mind that has no anchor in reality. These people are lost souls and are grabbing at straws, and if you don’t think that Obama, Hillary and the other anti-Americans are nothing but hollow straws, straws with no backbone, just hot air, you better take a long look in the mirror tomorrow morning and see who you’re going to have to live with for the rest of the day. And good luck with that.”

“And with that tidbit of wisdom, it’s time for us to sign off and so, on behalf of the crew, I’ll be wishing you all a goodnight: Goodnight.

“Good show, Zork, and thank you for not overburdening us with a bunch of complicated psychiatric terms. Burger time: my treat.”

Stir It Up” (5:34)



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