by Pastor Dunkin, ©2026
(Mar. 24, 2026) — “You have a hierarchy of the mentally disturbed. You have your six-packs a couple of cans short; elevators that don’t go past the first floor; morons who profess having the answer; idiots who work for the FAKE NEWS, specifically teleprompter readers; Dems with TDS; Dems with acute TDS, such as James Carville; and those with what is called ‘Talarico Disorder’ caused by illusions not unlike what David Hogg is afflicted with, an incurable mental disorder that only the truth can cure.”
“Gimme Some Truth” (3:18)
“And that’s my opening. Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We’ve invited Professor Zorkophsky to be our featured guest to help us understand the mentally disturbed among us, specifically those infected with TDS. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you, but please address me as ‘Zork’ since it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. I liked your opening and I totally agree with it, except for the ending.”
“How’s that?”
“You see, one of the symptoms of TDS is the inability to comprehend the truth. It’s like Trump is doing good, but it doesn’t register in a muddled brain and never will, sad to say. However, I’d have to say that at least half of those who suffer from TDS are worthless people anyway, followers one and all who, if they didn’t have TDS, would have latched onto some other ridiculous mental disorder and that’s all there is to it. Face it, some people a prone to failure.”
“And James Talarico?”
“Just another run-of-the-mill loser. You know a sure way to tell a loser? Check out the company they keep. Never fails. But this TDS is no joke, believe me. It’s nothing to laugh at; it’s a serious mental disorder, as serious as what we professional shrinks refer to as ‘going over the edge.’And before you ask, yes, ‘going over the edge’ is an accepted everyday use professional psychiatrists use, like ‘wacko’ and ‘bananas.’ It’s a serious problem, and so far the only cure is the truth, but TDS blocks the truth. It’s a dilemma.”
“There’s no cure?”
“None discovered so far, I’m afraid. Like the LGBTQ+ community supporting HAMAS when, in truth, if the queers went over to GAZA the first thing they’d do is take a dive off a tall building.”
“Yes, another group that is lacking in common sense. I see that our time has expired so I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to be with us. This is Pastor Dunkin, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. No cure, really? Too bad. Antisemitism has no place in Western Civilization and for those who are unable to act civilized; please at least have the common courtesy to move to an Islamic cesspool such as Somalia, thank you very much. Burger time: my treat.”
“Shotgun” (3:27)
Pastor Dunkin