by Henry, ©2025
(May 13, 2025) — “The Three Ravens” (3:40)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. I’ve a tale to tell so sit back and be prepared to learn the truth about King Arthur’s Round Table.
“For those of you who know Arthurian literature, stay tuned to learn the real story of the Round Table. Back in the day, the days of knights and castles with moats, frogs played the role of ‘Mosquito control.’ That’s right; frogs were given a place to live as long as they earned the privilege by eating annoying insects.
“Back then, English was the universal language long before Air Traffic Control. Camelot was in England, specifically in the Devon region in the southeast part of the island. It was there that our story begins. Our story starts when King Arthur is trying to figure out the design of his table when Henry, yes, me Henry, hops up on the windowsill and says to the King, ‘May I be so bold, Mr. King. I had the same problem when I became ‘Frog King of the Moat.’
“‘What, pray tell, did you decide?’ asked the King. ‘Well, we were having our meeting around a lily pad when it dawned on me the answer was, “Make it round,” just like the lily pad.’
“‘Brilliant,’ exclaimed the King, ‘and for that you’re now a Knight of the Realm. Congratulations.’
“We’ll now pause for a short commercial break.”
“The Hanging Tree” (2:50)
“And we’re back with our featured guest, Madam Shylock, who isn’t afraid to speak what needs to be said. Welcome back to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“And thank you for inviting me, Henry. I’d like to state the obvious, but I’m afraid I’ll lose customers if I do, so I’ll just answer your questions politely and let it go at that.”
“I’m sorry. ‘Pulse’ has standards so just blurt it out.”
“Well, I was watching your show a couple of days ago, the one when Zork said that the United States will be unrecognizable within 50 years, maybe less, if we don’t deport the Muslims; that’s the obvious. Tom Homan and his crew are doing a great job by deporting the gangbangers, but that still leaves millions of others who are just as dangerous.”
“Okay, we get it so why can’t they? It seems as if, well, we all know the story, but what we don’t know is if they are blind or stupid or, heaven forbid, on the other side. The thing is, we’re running out of time.”
“We all agree, Henry. Sweden lacks the will, Germany, too. Canada and England are gone. I’m to the point of canceling the summer circuit of small-town carnivals for good. That’s too bad because visiting those small towns is what America is all about, or at least used to be. Nowadays, even in the boondocks you find TDS*; I mean, talk about shooting yourselves in the foot.”
“What about Trump accepting that airplane from Qatar?”
“’Lay down with dogs, wake up with fleas.’”
“Yes, our sentiments entirely. What about our dogs, American dogs?”
“You mean the judges who rule by party expediency rather than a direct interpretation of the Constitution?”
“Yes, the corrupt judges who have a handout for collecting payoffs, starting with the Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts. They’re easy to spot, you know. There’s not like a question mark at the end of their names.”
“Well, Henry, or should I call you ‘Sir Henry?’ Anyway, the House has the authority to remove unscrupulous judges so the ball’s in their court.”
“Den of thieves, right behind the Senate.”
“Now ain’t that the truth? The whole government is corrupt beyond redemption. Reminds me of the early days of the French Revolution when they had the ‘Department of Public Safety’ going around guillotining the guilty.”
“We’re not there yet but it remains a possibility when even the stupid voters finally realize they’ve been had.”
“Zork says it’s a sight to behold, when a Dem finally realizes the truth. You know he records all of his sessions? He says he records them to ‘check his notes,’ but I think he’s making a short film of the expressions of the Dems when they finally accept reality over the fantasy world of ‘The View.’”
“Can you share some of that with us? I mean, has he shown some of his clips to you?”
“Yes, he has, and it’s quite hilarious; you should see them. The first expression is one of shock, as if their whole life was nothing but a lie, which it was. And then, after the shock expression, when they finally realize they’ve been had, is one of anger, I mean real vigilante- type anger when they want to grab a rope and look for the nearest oak tree. After the initial anger subsides is a look of, and there’s no other way to say it, a look of cunning, as if they’re remembering who lied to them, a friend or a neighbor, a news anchor, pundit or politician. The last expression is a remembrance of a judge who ruled against the best wishes of the American people, which there are way too many these days. And then exhaustion comes creeping in and the patient falls asleep.”
“And how long does that take? I mean, when the subject accepts the truth and then zonks out?”
“Around five minutes is the average. Some go right to the hangin’ tree but, in the end, they all fall asleep.”
“What’s your take on the new Pope?”
“Let’s wait and see, but don’t hold your breath. I mean, he’s from Chicago, the heart of the disfranchised and disillusioned. A really sad place what the Dems made it. Used to have a semblance of hope but it seems every big city wants to follow in the footsteps of St. Louis and Detroit. Sanctuary city, you know. Lots of illegals and Muslims. Not much hope for the kids, especially since the Teachers’ Union has a solid grip on the city. Send little Trayvon to school and after 18 years he still can’t read worth a hoot, never possessed a library card and what for? He can’t read anyway.”
“Any last words?”
“Trump can’t be bought and that’s why they hate him. Think about it: half the country has no problem being taken advantage of; TDS at its finest. And that’s all the time we have, so, on behalf of Madam Shylock, this is Henry wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. I’ll share my worms with you, Madam Shylock.”
[*TDS: Trump Derangement Syndrome.]
“What about Trump accepting that airplane from Qatar?”
I approve and would do the same thing….. … : )