by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Apr. 11, 2025) — “You Send Me” (2:55)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. ‘Pulse’ has been reporting what the ‘person on the sidewalk’ says bugs them the most over the last 20 years, and the one complaint we hear most frequently is about substandard judges trashing the Constitution, going totally against how the Founding Fathers envisioned it, such as honest elections vs. what transpired in 2020. We like to keep an even keel and not call people names, but we just can’t shy away from the truth by refusing to call those who suffer from ‘Trump Derangement Syndrome’ complete idiots. That includes ‘Morning Joe’ and Rachel Maddow, ‘The View’ and their viewers, and all the stupid people who voted for lies, corruption and Kamala. There’s no two ways around it; some people are really dumb, from the FBI agents who raided Roger Stone’s house and Mar-a-Lago to all the other lowlife cheatin’ Dems.
“The judges rule that an illegal immigrant has the same rights – and more, many more – than a citizen of our country, and they prove it by bending over backwards to give all kinds of benefits to criminals. Wrong is wrong no matter how it’s diced, how it’s presented or what it’s called, just as stupid is stupid. Bringing in, inviting in, welcoming an illegal is, as stated, illegal, and judges are not immune from being stupid: just look at Supreme Court Associate Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson who couldn’t tell you what a woman is. If you hire marginal people you must expect marginal results. Here with us today to explain it all to us is Chief New Leaf, one of the more popular personalities we feature on ‘Pulse,’ the most popular information show in its time slot. Welcome aboard, Chief.”
“How.”
“How what?”
“How you welcome aboard? You on a boat or something?”
“Lighten up, Chief, it’s just a sayin’.”
“Still no boat.”
“And there won’t be a boat, or a ship, or even a canoe. I was just welcoming you to the show, a polite thing to do, a show of respect.”
‘Then I won’t scalp you.”
“I didn’t know Indians still take scalps.”
“I was speaking metaphorically, Roving.”
“Whew. Okay, let’s talk about these judges who rule by pocketbook over the Constitution.”
“Are you implying that some of our judges are paid off, either by party favors and/or cash, maybe in the form of a cabin in the woods in their brother-in-law’s name?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Then I’m on your side. Won’t scalp you but, metaphorically speaking, would like to scalp any judge who rules against the MAGA agenda.”
“Anything else?”
“I would like to, metaphorically speaking, tar and feather the whole lot of them who are not 100% MAGA. Any DEI idiots I include on my metaphorically scalp and tar-and-feather list. By the way, some idiots are on both lists, the really bad ones, the usual suspects starting with, well, you know who they are, and if I went through the whole list we’d be here until dawn.”
“The governor of Maine?”
“For sure.”
“The CNN and MSNBC idiots?”
“Definitely.”
“Hillary and John Brennan?”
“As I said, all the useful idiots who make up the Deep State.”
“I see we’ve run out of time, and I want to thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.”
“I like scalp, and I like tar-and-feather but I’m not too keen on this ‘metaphysical’ bologna.”
“You’re not alone Chief, trust me. Well, folks, it’s been really keen to be part of such an exciting show and, on behalf of the Chief, I’d like to wish you all a goodnight: Goodnight.”
“Excuse me, one last word.”
“Make it short.”
“I want to see jail sentences, money paid back, and all the bad people deported. Fair enough?”
“Fair enough. Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[Reminder: Make no mistake about it, Trump is the Alpha Male of our times and we’re all darn lucky to have him.]
“Just a Little” (2:33)
Roving Reporter