by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Mar. 9, 2025) — “She Belongs to Me” (2:48)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Professor Zorkophsky is back with yet another bestseller; isn’t that correct, Professor?”
“Yes, and thank you for having me on your most popular show. Now, I think we’ve been over this a time or two, but please call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more informal atmosphere. The book’s title is, simply, ‘TDS Explained, An In-Depth Analysis of the Really Gullible Out There Among Us.’ The book is literally flying off the shelves.”
“Yes, that I can understand since we all like to know why so many of our fellow citizens are so gosh-darned easily hoodwinked. Was this book written as a novel or some other form? The reason I ask is that you always seem to surprise us with your writings.”
“Fair enough. I wrote the book as a screenplay, in other words, a movie script with stage directions, lighting and camera angles included. I also added lunch breaks and suggestions for overtime pay for the stuntmen.”
“Stuntmen? Surely you jest.”
“Wish I was, but to understand how utterly gone these people are – those with TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome) – in order to explain the mental disease correctly, stuntmen were required to show what kind of nuts we’re dealing with.”
“Can you give us an example?”
“How about waving a Hamas flag? How about supporting BLM and ANTIFA? How about watching ‘The View?’ How about falling for the COVID-19 ‘vaccination’ lie? Look, it’s all in the book.”
“And before we get to the next question, let us pause for a quick commercial break.”
“Nokoro Nokori” (3:45)
“For those of you who aren’t familiar with our format, during the live broadcast of ‘Pulse’ — during the commercial break — you would see a real commercial, something we wouldn’t get paid for if we showed them in the transcript of the TV production, which can be read in The P&E. So, here’s my question: do you cite any examples of mass hysteria in the past?”
“Interesting that you should ask that, Roving, because that’s one of the more entertaining and enlightening chapters in the book. Yes, matter of fact, there is. I’ve listed a few of them, but there’s one incident I delve into with gusto, that of the radio broadcast of ‘The War of the Worlds’ on Halloween night in 1938 by Orson Wells and his Mercury Theater cast. Even though disclaimers were mentioned throughout the broadcast, millions of listeners actually believed it all to be true*, just like those who believe that the Jan. 6 insurrection wasn’t government Kabuki Theater, all caught on live television and Capitol Police body camera, including the premeditated murder of two young women. All filmed, in real time. Murder.”
“This TDS is nothing to sneeze at, then?”
“Surely not. It’s a mental condition which can only end in insanity, meaning the afflicted lose their ability to tell the difference between right and wrong.”
“Care to give us some examples?”
“Gladly. Those who repeat such phrases as ‘danger to democracy’ and the aforementioned ‘insurrection.’ There was an insurrection, a real one, but this one was committed by Nancy Pelosi and Mike Pence for counting KNOWN fraudulent votes. Shame on them, shame on Congress, shame on the Pentagon, and shame on the Fake News for allowing it to happen. Shame on them all, and may they all rot their sorry worthless lives away in prison. Do you hear me, John Brennan and your 50 co-signers?”
“I’m sure he does – hope they all hear you — and I can see we’ve run out of time. Most interesting book, Zork. Would you have a copy with you?”
“Nice try, Roving: $19.95 wherever nice books are sold.”
“Very well, thank you for such an insightful interview. I’m such our audience appreciates all the hard work you put into informing us of the truth. And so, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*True story: I guess some of America was a population of illiterate dummies, gullible beyond redemption back in 1938, same as the Germans with their convenient blaming the Jews for the failures of their government. Always easier to blame others, pointing a finger is the refuge of the uninformed. ‘Putin’s puppet’ and ‘Free Palestine’ are but two examples of ignorance and stupidity being worn on the sleeves of those inflected with TDS. Suicide and murder were done in the name of righteousness back in 1938, just like now, with the flimsy excuse of trusting the source when the source has been utterly fallible. CNN and MSNBC are only two of the active participants of the FAKE NEWS. I could go on and list the usual suspects, such as the aforementioned John Brennan and cohorts: bad actors, to be sure. TDS is a real mental illness that can only be cured by accepting the truth or else go through life as one of those Holocaust deniers, as stupid as casting a ballot for Kamala or any other Dem.]
[All kidding aside, TDS is a real mental condition that is, to say the least, unhealthy. TDS is a symptom of any of a number of underlying conditions, none of them beneficial to a healthy mind.]
Had the Biden/Harris administration kept Trump’s agenda, they probably would have been re-elected.
Had Hillary denied illegal immigrants driver’s licenses and closed the border, she probably would have won the presidency in 2016.
TDS gave us Trump so let’s be grateful for the really stupid people among us, the Dems who all suffer from TDS.