by Roving Reporter, ©2025
(Jan. 30, 2025) — “Sitting with the Turtle” (1:19)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Yesterday we witnessed who were the shills for Big Pharma, with Pocahontas, aka Elizabeth Warren, leading the pack. Heck, all the Dems were lined up at the trough, reciting the talking points dictated by Big Pharma. In short, it was a truly disgusting display of ‘tongues and hands out’ vs. the good of their constituents. Our featured guest knows all too well ‘those who come in peace speaking forked tongue,’ none other than our own Chief New Leaf. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot. How you doing?”
“’How’ yourself. Good to be here. Good to hear talk without forks. Make ears happy. Happy ears good.”
“Glad to hear it.”
“Did you just make a pun? Bad pun. Indians don’t cater to puns. Bad medicine.”
“No, I confess I didn’t know American Indians didn’t like puns. Speaking of medicine…”
“Yes, let’s imagine sitting around campfire. We must talk. What say we discuss how Big Pharma has caused more harm than all the natural disasters in the United States put together since Plymouth Rock?”
“Okay, let’s do just that. COVID-19 was just as big a scam as the 2020 election and, some say, the shutdown was orchestrated to accept mail-in ballots to allow for easier and widespread cheating, so Trump gone, Biden-Kamala in. What say you?”
“How. I say how can white man be so stupid — oh, sorry, I meant to say, ‘wool pulled over eyes?’ Answer without forks, please. No forks.”
“Because, simply put, Big Pharma bought all the commercial time from the Fake News and all the gullible fools swallowed the ‘Kool-Aid.’”
“American Indians say ‘drank’ instead of forked ‘swallowed.’ You need to be sorry.”
“Sorry. How’re your casinos doing?”
“We scalp white man every day, so we have big pockets. For sure.”
“What did you think of RFK, Jr.?”
“Sister missed boat. Somebody please inform her that the Democratic Party died the day JFK did. RFK is the best thing to come down the pike, just as Trump and all his choices for his cabinet are. No more talk. Rest is just noise.”
“Yes, well, then, thank you for your input; I’m sure our audience appreciates you. This is your Roving Reporter, along with the Chief, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Care for a Deer Burger?”
[Bernie Sanders embarrassed himself yesterday, something that I couldn’t think he could do anymore than he’s already done. Despicable.]
“Witch Doctor” (2:23)
Roving Reporter