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by OPOVV , ©2017

(Jul. 6, 2017) — “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show that doesn’t hold anything back, ‘The Pulse of the Nation.’ Hello, I’m Roving Reporter and will be your host for this edition. We’re back on the corner under the awning across from the railroad station about to waylay some unsuspecting soul going blissfully through their day, that is, until we pounce and reveal what’s bugging them.

“Excuse me, Miss, I’m Roving from ‘Pulse’ and would like to ask you a question for our viewing audience; got a minute?”

“Oh, sure; ask away. Watch your show, by the way.”

“Thanks; what’s your take on all of this fake news?”

“Well, now, first of all, what’s the point? I mean, what can they expect to get out of it? People are beginning to realize that it’s all been nothing but a pack of lies from the very beginning, all the way back when they tried to push the Muslim Brotherhood down the throats of the Egyptians. And then the infamous trio – Obama-Jarrett-Hillary — had Gaddafi murdered and gave Libya to the Muslim Brotherhood. And they tried to fix the elections in Israel, didn’t they, Roving? It’s amazing how the Muslim Brotherhood gets around, no thanks to Obama’s administration and Iran.”

“What about the fake news of today?”

“Trivia, Roving, or it would be if CNN had enough horse-sense to have kept their mouth shut. Maybe they should’ve reported the truth in the first place; I mean, how hard can it be?”

“Not very, and that’s a fact. Tell me, would you buy a product from someone who advertises on a program who dishes out lies?”

“No, of course not; anyone in their right mind wouldn’t.”

“Unless you voted for Obama and then compounded the error by voting for Hillary, right?”

“Yes, but you know what’s the saddest part, Roving?”

“What’s that?”

“All they had to do was to report the truth in the first place. I’ll be surprised if they don’t close their doors; I mean, how can they survive without advertisers? I’m right, aren’t I, Roving? And there’s my train. Bye.”

“Bye, and thanks for talking to us. Next? Hello; what’s your name and what’s bugging you today?”

“My name is Reverend Clive, thank you.”

“Well, Reverend Clive, what’s the biggest ‘bug’ in your life?”

“’Bug?’ What do you mean by ‘bug?’”

“Excuse me: what’s bugging you these days?”

“Heathens! What else? Heathens are those who fail to subscribe to the Golden Rule*. Heathens murder women and children and are purposefully cruel to animals. We don’t need any more of those types in our country; we have enough illegal immigrants to fulfill our heathen quota.

“By the way, I’ve watched your show for over two years and I’m still having problems getting my cable provider to carry ‘Pulse.’”

“Yes, we get a lot of complaints about that. Sorry; out of our hands. So do you have a church somewhere?”

“No, I do not. I am, however, on radio for a couple of hours a day; off Saturday, and four hours Sunday morning: search for ‘Clive’s Gospel Radio.’

“I’m sure I’ll do that and the viewers will, also. Let me ask you about North Korea.”

“Heathens! Forced to tell lies to save themselves! All bad and no good will ever come out of the north, mark my words. They hate everyone, except Billy Graham.”

“You’re probably right about that. Are you catching the train to the Big City?”

“Right smack in the middle of the DEN OF INIQUITY I’m going, holding my Bible in my right hand and my Smith & Wesson .38 Special in my left.”

“Nice try, but I’d advise you on leaving the weapon concealed: no guns allowed without a permit issued by the city.”

“But it’s the gun-killing capital of the USA!”

“That is true; that is true, but, nonetheless, you’ll probably just end up getting yourself a one-way ticket to the City Morgue.”

“But aren’t all tickets to the City Morgue ‘one-way?’”

“Tell you what, Clive, you need to find a sense of humor. I don’t know how you’re going to do that; maybe have your listeners call in to your radio program and ask questions about your sermons, I guess. But you need something, of that I’m sure. And will you just look at the time? And so, on behalf of the crew, I’d like to wish each and every one of you out there in television land a goodnight: Goodnight.

“All they had to do was report the truth, isn’t that right? So it comes to pass that they made up stuff, pure lies. Makes you wonder who raised these people, doesn’t it? I mean, what low-life-in-the-gutter-parents raise a child to become an adult to outright lie for a living?

“I used to have a job where I was making pretty-good money – little over 5 grand a week – but I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror when I was shaving the next morning, true story; so I quit to work construction for $12 an hour. At least I slept the sleep of a saint, so ‘money’ is no excuse to lie. Two things CNN did wrong: didn’t tell the truth and made an issue of Trump exposing them.

“Hey: good show. Burger time: my treat.”

[*Golden Rule: No such philosophy in Islam; on the contrary, they (Muslims) ‘do unto others what they would not wish done upon themselves’: i.e., beheadings.]



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