by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Nov. 18, 2024) — “Holberg Suite, Op. 40, Praeludium” (2:38)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. We live in troubling times, and just because Trump won doesn’t follow that the Deep State will lie down and take it without, at the very least, a parting shot. Matter of fact, the Las Vegas odds leave everything in question; nothing is certain or written in stone. The belief in a ‘peaceful transition’ may be, in fact, nothing but a pipe dream. No doubt the Dems will employ a ‘Scorched Earth‘ policy regarding the Constitution. I like to think that the Deep State will be dismantled, utterly destroyed once and for all, but I look around and see half of America as Looney Tunes, nothing but skeletons of a belief that, somewhere and somehow, Socialism will be, for the first time in human history, successful in our lifetime. To help us sort it all out for us, we have invited Professor Zorkophsky to, if nothing else, calm our fears. Welcome to ‘Pulse,’ the most-watched information show in its time slot.”
“Thank you, Roving, for the invite. Indeed, we live in perilous times, which is why I stress the importance of always going around armed. It would be nice if we all had tanks to drive to the store, but a .357 Magnum revolver also works. For years I have advocated that all women be armed, and now I’m adding that all Jews, men and women, be armed as well. Seriously. I’m of the school that it is better to break the law than end up dead; just sayin’.”
“So, like in Chicago and New York City, you’re saying to go ahead and carry a gun and, if you need it to save your life, use it?”
“Yep, that’s exactly what I’m saying. They make a derringer that shoots shotgun pellets: just point and shoot, and either drive away or walk away to live for another day. Think of it as the burden of the warrior, to live to do it all over again, and if we all do it, there’ll be no more ‘sidewalk knockouts,’ carjackings, muggings, tortures, rapes and murders. I still can’t believe that the concert-goers on Oct. 7 weren’t armed. Heck, I’m armed, my wife and kid are armed, and we live in the rural United States, but we’re not stupid, not like the Jewish blindsided kids at the concert in the middle of nowhere were.”
“That’s profound.”
“Then let me ask you this: what do you think Ashli Babbitt and Laken Riley would say? Too bad Babbitt didn’t blow her murderer away, and the same for Laken Riley*.”
“And we couldn’t agree with you more. Mind summing it up for us?”
“No, not at all. We must keep on our toes, keep our eyes open. Have a stash of ammo and food. But I’d like to add that the pundits and pollsters got it all wrong. It wasn’t between Hillary and Trump any more than it was between the Hyena and Trump. The elections didn’t have a cotton-pickin’ thing to do with personalities as it did with platform. Hillary didn’t want a wall; Trump did. The Hyena wanted an open border; Trump wanted to close the border. Heck, MAGA could’ve run Henry against the Hyena and Henry would’ve won. The election wasn’t about money – TV advertisements – but about policy. At any time the Hyena – Kamala Harris – could’ve closed the border and deported the illegal immigrants but didn’t, so she lost. End of story.”
“I’m afraid you’re right, and with that we’ll have to call it a night. This is your Roving Reporter, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Laken Riley: So, how come she didn’t have a gun to protect herself?]
“Can’t Help Falling in Love” (3:02)