by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Nov. 13, 2024) — “Caprice No. 5” (2:45)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. When the decision was made to have a Veteran speak his mind, Professor Zorkophsky’s name was at the top of the list. Thank you for joining us on such short notice, Professor.”
“No problem, but please call me ‘Zork’ since I feel it makes for a more relaxing atmosphere. Always glad to help and feel honored to be here.”
“The honor is all ours, Zork, of this we assure you.”
“You are too kind.”
“You were chosen to be our guest today because we feel that you won’t hold anything back, that you’ll tell it like it is with no sugar-coating the answer for any of this ‘political correctness’ nonsense.”
“Yeah, I will answer your questions honestly without any transgender- loving, DEI political nonsense and wokeness stupidity.”
“As we expected. How, in your opinion, is the state of America today?”
“Better than yesterday; at least today there’s some hope in the air – because Trump got elected, but don’t hold your breath. Oh, I’m not saying that Trump’s win is what we needed, but it doesn’t end there.”
“Give the guy a chance; I mean, he just got elected.”
“I understand that, just as I understand that Tom Homan will deport our illegal immigrants, but it’s not enough, not by a long shot. We have to go back to the Obama years, back when he said, ‘fundamentally transform’ how America works. Look, you want me to spell it out for you?”
“Please do.”
‘Very well. Since Barry Soetoro (aka Obama), the United States has imported more than 20 million Muslims and you know what our Department of State does, along with the Department of Homeland Security? They automatically give them citizenship along with the whole ball of wax: housing, medical, food and cash. And if the husband has more than one wife and each wife has three kids, then that man receives a welfare check to the tune of more than $10,000 a month. The FBI used to keep tabs on the Muslims, how many weapons they were stockpiling in their mosques, the JIHAD thing and antisemitic activities, but no more; those days are long behind us because the FBI has gone over to the other side.”
“Other side?”
“Against MAGA. Heck, they spied on Trump way back in 2015, let alone going after him at his home and in Pennsylvania.”
“So, what, fire them all? You got Muslims on your mind. I mean, why are you so against them?”
“Because it’s how the Muslims have acted in the past, how the Muslims are acting in Africa and in Europe right this minute and are starting to do the same here. Jew-bashing over there is so common as to be a way of life, and soon to be here, too, if it isn’t already, which it is. These college students supporting Hamas is so anti-American as to make me want to vomit. I can’t believe that we tolerate such anti-Constitutional behavior; it tends to drive me bananas AND bonkers at the same time, which is over the top, beyond the edge, no turning back.”
“Calm down, take it easy. What do you say we pause for a commercial? Do us both good.”
“Never on Sunday” (2:44)
“And we’re back, but not with Zork. He had some sort of conniption and had to leave. No matter because Madam Shylock brought over Henry. Thank you, Madam Shylock [“Fortune Teller” (2:41)]; please just lay the purse on the table. And look who just crawled out but Henry. Welcome aboard, Henry. What’s up?”
“On the way in, I was listening to your program, and I must say that I must agree with Zork. Here’s my concern: will Tulsi Gabbard, Trump’s Secretary of Defense, have enough brains to deport the Muslims from our military or not? I have grave doubts. I would do it on day ONE. And I do mean O-U-T, all the way back to the sandbox they came from.”
“You sound a little bit down, President Trump having named Peter Hegseth as the Secretary of Defense.”
“Disappointment is a frog’s middle name; we’re used to it. But good choice just the same. Lucky him. Hope he has the common sense to not have women serve in the blue water Navy’ or, for that matter, any Navy ship.”
“What’s your opinion on Mike Huckabee as our Ambassador to Israel?”
“One word: brilliant.”
“Want to expand a bit for us?”
“Kick Turkey out of NATO. Which reminds me: kick the UN out of the U.S.”
“You got all kinds of good ideas, don’t you? Any more?”
“Allow General Michael Flynn to clean out the Pentagon. Let him walk in there with a squad of combat-experienced Veterans and fire the Deep-Staters, the Communists, the DEI losers, the queers and all the other unwanteds.”
“Too bad Trump didn’t name you in some capacity in his next administration.”
“Ain’t it a shame? You ever notice the correlation between missing dogs and Muslims? I’m not going to elaborate on that subject because I know young people watch your show, but it’s not a good idea to let Muslims adopt dogs. Enough said on that subject; use your imagination. Look, I don’t trust the government doing the right thing even if Trump is the president is all I’ve got to say, except let’s abolish the Department of Homeland Security and, with it, the ‘Patriot Act.’ I can go on, but my skin is drying up and I need to jump into some water, maybe take a shower on your drinking fountain, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“No, not at all; go ahead. Well, I see we’ve run out of time and so, this is you Roving Reporter, along with Henry, wishing all of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. I see that Madam Shylock brought along some grubs for you. Go for it; I’ll have a burger.”
“Everyday” (2:19)
Roving Reporter