by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Sep. 14, 2024) — “Dream Lover” (3:14)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Henry is back as our featured guest to comment on current affairs. As you all know, Henry is on the ‘chickin salad circuit’ doing one-night stands along with his infamous ‘Lady Frog Chorus Line’ that has become a hallmark of his. Henry was an ambassador, a presidential candidate, and is now vying for a position in Trump’s [“Trump Won” (3:30)] cabinet as his ‘Secretary of Deporting All of Our Unwanteds.’ And so, without further ado, here is the ‘Lady Frog Chorus Line’ followed by Henry. Take it away, ladies.”
The camera moves to the conference room tabletop where the lady frogs hop up and dance to “Radio City Rockettes” (2:53). At the end of the song, the chorus line hops off the tabletop just as Henry hops on tabletop left.
“Thank you, Roving, for inviting me to be your featured guest. I always enjoy your company.”
“Thank you. I want to ask you about the incident in Newton, Massachusetts, when a Muslim attacked an Iraq War Veteran.”
“Right, you’re referring to District Attorney Marian Ryan arresting the American, the defender of the Constitution and Israel when she SHOULD HAVE BESTOWED UPON SCOTT HAYES THE KEYS TO THE CITY AFTER THE PARADE HONORING HIS PLEDGE.”
“His ‘pledge?’”
“His Oath to the Constitution. Look, I’m not sure how to say this; I mean, I wouldn’t want to upset anybody.”
“Since when did that ever stop you?”
“Well, come to think of it, never, to my everlasting regret, I’m sure. Anyway, what I want to suggest is that the good citizens of Massachusetts ought to tar and feather their ungrateful DA, is what. I mean, think about it.”
“Yes, it doesn’t take much imagination about the right and wrong of the crime, especially since the attacker got what he deserved, or to be honest, about what he deserved. Bottom line, if the Muslim survives, he needs to be deported someplace where they hate free speech, women, Israel and the United States so he’ll feel right at home because here sure as heck ain’t it.”
“Agree wholeheartedly. How’s that campaign going to get on Trump’s [“Justice for All” (2:24)] cabinet?”
“I like to think I have a chance; that’s all anyone could ask for.”
“You’re right and we wish you luck. Well, folks, that’s all the time we have, so this is your Roving Reporter, along with Henry, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. What you got there, worms? I’ll have myself a burger.”
[Ever wonder why Veterans don’t particularly like hearing, “Thank you for your service?’ Well, now you know, thanks to people like DA Marian Ryan.]