by Roving Reporter, ©2024
(Sep. 8, 2024) — “The Twilight Zone Theme” (0:56)
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to ‘The Pulse of the Nation,’ the place to hear it here first. Back by popular demand, Professor Zorkophsky of ‘Trash the masks’ fame will be our featured guest. I understand that you volunteered to join the IDF– Israel Defense Forces — when Lebanon was lobbying rockets into Israel, but you were turned down because of age or some other such nonsense, is that right?”
“Yes, that’s right. I said I’d serve in the IDF for room and board only. Benjamin Netanyahu even took the time to write me a letter, signed, saying ‘Thanks, but no thanks.’ I have that letter stashed away somewhere.”
“Impressive; you don’t just talk the talk; you walk the walk.”
“Not only do I walk the walk; I walk the walk armed with a brand-new AK-74.”
“You mean an AK-47.”
“No, I mean the AK-74, the updated, revised and improved version of the AK-47. The name of the game is muzzle velocity; remember that. By the way, the muzzle velocity of an AR-15 is impressive, very impressive. Nothing to sneeze at.”
“Are you going to show us charts and spout a bunch of technical stuff?”
“No, I’ll just state the obvious; I mean, the ‘obvious’ to those of us who are aware of the truth of the open border, the reasons for the out-of-control inflation and why the brain-damaged Hyena, aka Kamala Harris, is reluctant to take any sort of responsibility for the murder of Laken Riley and all the other young women who have been raped and murdered by illegal migrants. I’ll even go so far as to say if those who murder our women aren’t themselves executed, then we are equally culpable in any crimes that the illegals commit. We can’t continue to deport and not expect them to come back and do it all over again. We must nip it in the bud.”
“We’ll have to rewrite the treaties, won’t we?”
“Every one of them must give us the option of the death penalty if any of their citizens murder one of us.”
“What kind of one-way treaties do we have, anyway?”
“The kind that don’t work.”
“Let’s pause for a short commercial break.”
“500 Miles” (2:41)
“And we’re back with Zork. Any more to say?”
“You don’t want to hear the truth so I’m leaving. Later.”
“Hold on, now; don’t be so high and mighty. Now explain yourself, if you can.”
“So, what if Trumps wins? America still won’t declare the Muslim Brotherhood a terrorist organization; same with CAIR. As a country, we lack the brains, plain and simple. You talk of the ‘moderate’ Muslim. Let me tell you something: they behead their very own daughters and wives. They let girls burn to death because letting them out of a burning building without a male relative present would bring dishonor on the family. And we expect them to assimilate. God luck with that.”
“Understood. What have you got in the box? Books? You wrote another bestseller? What’s the title?”
“’Erasing the Past.’ It’s a book about divorce and losing time because you can never trade memories for a rewind. I mean, a shared memory is togetherness while an unshared memory is loneliness.”
“It’s a book about divorce?”
“Well, I guess it’s more of a book about forgiveness. You see, we all make mistakes, and the only one of us who never did make a mistake they nailed to a cross, so go figure, right?”
“I’d rather talk politics which we’ll do after this short break.”
“Harmonica in C minor” (2:01)
“Okay, we’re back. Let’s talk about politics.”
“This election isn’t just between Trump and Harris or Republicans and Democrats.”
“It’s not? Then what is it between?”
“Freedom and slavery. If Trump [“Trump Won” (3:30)] doesn’t win and get in there to clean out the Deep State from the Swamp, then this will be the last election we’ll ever have. The election is between freedom or none.”
“Where would abortion be — I mean, of what importance?”
“I’m sorry to say that the question of abortion doesn’t even register on what’s at stake. It’s as if a tornado ripped off the roof and somebody is concerned with vacuuming the living room. It’s as if the car went off the cliff and someone regrets not scrubbing the floor mats. Give me a break; what’s at stake is either the ‘Beacon of Freedom’ survives or is extinguished. It’s between the Constitution or Totalitarianism, whether it be the CCP, Sharia, or anything that doesn’t include the Bill of Rights. Got it?”
“Yes, we get it. It’s like that now in many places; questioning the legitimacy of the 2020 election will get you a visit from our GESTAPO*.”
“That’s right. You know, our State Department and Homeland Security are our biggest adversaries; forget the terrorists, be they Chinese or Muslim. DOJ and FBI recruits who will blindly follow illegal orders are a dime a dozen. We are in a world of hurt or, to put it bluntly, as of now, the Deep State is in control and it’s up to us to take our country back, or, to put it another way, ‘MAKE OUR COUNTRY GREAT AGAIN,’ a euphemism for supporting the Constitution [“Justice for All” (2:24)].”
“That I like.”
“Yes, it’s all about the Constitution; always has been.”
“So, it’s not about Trump and Harris.”
“Hyena Harris. Here’s Democracy: Dems rule by paying off judges while the Republicans rule legislatively.”
“But we’re $35 trillion in debt.”
“Well, there’s such a thing as RINOs, right?”
“Right, to everyone’s detriment. What about the idiots who wave HAMAS flags at Columbia University in New York?”
“Either they are Muslims who really want to behead babies or stupid students who have been brainwashed to support the so-called ‘Palestinians.’ Either way, throw them out.”
“You mean out of the country?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I mean. And I also want everyone who had a hand in the incarceration of the Jan. Sixers to have their retirement pay given to those they abused. Everyone.”
“Does that include Pelosi?”
“Especially Pelosi. And let them all rot in jail for the rest of their worthless lives. I mean it; after all, they deserve it, right?”
“And right again. And I see we’ve run out of time and so, this is your Roving Reporter, along with Zork, wishing each of you a goodnight: Goodnight.
“Good show. Burger time: my treat.”
[*Gestapo: Ask any of the Jan. Sixers who, and what, threw them in the clink.]
“Time in a Bottle” (2:21)
Roving Reporter